//midterms //

This week: 2 down, 1 more to go.

I can wave my 40% worth of ms2008 grade goodbye.
Ok, I couldn't decide which midterm was worse, ms2005 or ms2008.
Or perhaps it was ms2002.

Anyway,
I was simply irritated to the core today during the test.
Call me sensitive or fussy
But I JUST CAN'T STAND IT
when the person sitting beside me keeps on sighing and banging his pen on the table

especially in the silence of exam time.
where every sound is amplified by at least 20 times and each bang on the table causes a vibration magnified by at least 50 times.

I don't know the person but was absolutely irritated by him.
We were supposed to sit in an alternating pattern but apparently there were not enough seats in the LT to accomodate this.
He came in late and I was sitting at the very last row so he conveniently plonked into the empty seat next to me.
Argh!
Never felt so frustrated during a test before.
Goodness knows how many times did he sigh.

I was thinking:
Bro, I know you have problems doing the questions but look, you're not the only one, Ok?
Very soon, that thought turned into frustration.
All I wanted was to throw a brick at him.
Luckily, after the test, he scot off fast.
Or else I don't know what I could have done.
Seriously.

In any case, i doubt any of my other uninterrupted midterms will be any better.
I always had this sinking feeling after every single test.
This "doomed-to-fail" feeling.
Well, I certainly hope my tutee won't have such similar feelings when PSLE starts on Fri.
The battle begins.
He, like me, is always hovering between a pass and a fail.
Talk about Who you'll meet is a mirror reflection of yourself.



Can I handle any more disappointment?

I don't want to face the world.

I wanna be alone.
Alone in the land of strangers.

//twist lick dunk//

haha.
Once i read the clarification notice put up by Oreo in 'Today', my mum and i immediately open a packet of Oreo cookies! =)

// reports, reports and more reports!//

Sort of tired doing the lab reports..

Ok, truth be told, I don't feel like doing anything.

except watching youtube videos, tv or shopping.

Hello man! it's holiday!!

and it's only for one week.

why am i stuck at home doing reports, studying and tutoring.

Mega SIGHS.

Happy times are always short-lived

.

// RECESS WEEK! //

it's already mid-term.
but i'm still wondering what is happening.
lessons are progressing at such a fast pace that
i'm lost

lectures and tutorials.
i'm stuck.

i mean, i knew an ENGINEERING course would be demanding
what i didn't know is that
i couldn't rise up to the challenge.

last sem was bad.
thus i wanted a change this sem.
but to improve things?
easier said than done.

self-motivation is losing steam.
self-comforting is hurting pride.
self-esteem is at all-time low.

i crave for more time
to study and understand
the abstract concepts
and formulae

but some other things are competing for my time.

travelling time.
it's definitely nice to return home to a comfortable place
but is it worth sacrificing 1/6 of a day travelling?

tuition.
it's great to have more allowance
and even leftover money to save every month
but is it worth spending the time?
a trade-off between money and time.

and I don't understand why we need to have tutorials for tech com module
cuz it's never productive.
just give lectures and record it
so that i can skip it and watch online recording in record time.

as for the constant disturbance in the house.
who dares defy the matriarch?
no point defending yourself or you will be accused of shifting reponsibility.
no point explaining or you will be accused of giving unreasonable excuse.
little things that makes no sense.
why argue?
my precious time will be wasted.
just admit to whatever teeny-wheeny accusation.

hence
i can't be bothered.
i'm NUMBED to the noise.

silence is simply the best solution.

//back to s'pore=back to reality//

Although I was in JB for less than a full day, it was nice to be physically away from the normal life.
This time round, it was for my cousin's wedding, which came as a surprise as he is only a few years (3-4 yrs) older than me.
In actual fact, it seems to be like a social norm in Malaysia to get married rather early, by S'pore's standards.
Anyway, due to the physical distance, my sis and I were never really close to any of our cousins, all of whom resides in Malaysia.
When we were young, perhaps, yes.
Especially during CNY when we played firecrackers with them and count our hongbao money together.
It was really enjoyable and bonded us and our cousins.
We had always look forward to CNY whereby my family will make trips to Malaysia as the bulk of our relatives stays there.
However, as time goes by, especially in the teenage years, my cousins would be visiting their friends during CNY and my sis and I would be left alone in the house to set firecrackers by ourselves.
Yes, even though the firecrackers still burnt as brilliantly, the enjoyment has already faded, leaving its remnants in our memories.
Time is what one cannot buy, no matter how much money one has.

//getting a glimpse of light//

finally!
I've thought things through and decided not to run away from my project and tutorials (for now, that is.)
my brain is functioning!
I just thought of something to do abt the project
and as for tutorials...
i'm logging off now to do them =D

//escape from reality//

I'm more and more certain that I'm a reality escapist. (if there is such a term)
Running away from real-life problems seems like second nature to me.
And I don't know why.

For example, when our project run into problems, I can easily put them at the back of my mind.
I don't know if I have little willpower or what... but whenever I see a complex problem to solve, I'll just put it aside and never try to solve it, be it homework or project work.

Maybe it's because I don't even trust myself.
And there are signs of this.
Whenever I found some web articles to analyse, usually my mind draws a blank...and even if I have form a certain views or impression about the article, I doubt myself whether my views would even be convincing to the others.
Whenever I found a way to solve a problem, I have doubts whether my concept of the topic is even correct.

Why why why?

perhaps it's sheer cowardice.
i see myself as such a weird person.
i don't seem to think like a normal person would.
i seem to have different understanding of a certain thing...sometimes very different from others.
most importantly, i don't dare to voice out.
i'm such a coward.

currently, my mind is in a turmoil and it's telling my to forget about doing my homework and just copy answers during tutorials.

tomorrow will be better.
tomorrow all lectures and tutorials would make me forget about the turmoil i'm going through now.
i'm just escaping from today.

it's hard to battle with my mind.



// Zoo! //

it has been a good five years since i visited that "only for children and tourists" place.
what can i say?
it's such a good break from the busy school life.

I don't really adore animals
but
it felt good
just walking among trees,
on the grasses,
admiring the flora and fauna,
inhaling the fresh air.

walking in nature has always been so relaxing.

not to forget, I simply love the GREEN-NESS of that place =D

//a pessimistic optimist//

Today's lessons ended rather early (so will tml, due to union's day)
and I had some time to think outside of physics and found the inspiration to blog a short entry.

Well, today's tech com class was rather embarrassing as I e-mailed a crap piece of in-text citations to the tutor (on behalf of the grp).
As we had not decide on the topic for the project, we actually wasted alot of time deciding the topic when we were supposed to do the citations.
Anyway, as I was typing for my life in order to hand up the piece of work, I read my friend's handwriting wrongly. (if only I had some common sense)
It was a rush as we were supposed to e-mail him and he would project his laptop screen and check his account in real time. (as such everyone can see your mistakes =S)
we were the last grp to hand in and made the most mistakes.
argh. I think the tutor will forever remember my name as I sent to him through my e-mail account.

it was also the first time lugging my laptop to sch.
as i wanted my bag to be lighter, i purposely did not bring my umbrella to school.
as you would have guessed, i was crossing my fingers and hoping it would not rain.
on the way back home, after alighting from the mrt, guess what- it was pouring so heavily at khatib-i was cursing my bad luck and decided to take shelter at the bus stop (with my 2.4 kg laptop) if it was still raining after my bus ride.
when the bus was near those factories at yck, it rained even harder and i thought i was destined to wait for the rain to stop.
BUT the weather is so unpredictable!
somehow, at the few bus stops before i alight, the rain suddenly trickled to a light drizzle.
Haha. imagine how glad I was!

Thought of the Day:

Life is like a bus journey.
there is no telling whether your destination is shining or raining.

//brain freeze//

year 2 subjects are oh-so-hard.
it's hard to figure out what the ms2002 lecturer is talking about.
it's difficult to draw free body diagrams for ms2005.
it's a daunting task to complete the ms2008 tutorial.
and I haven't got a single idea of how to do my ms2010 tutorial.

my mind seems to detach itself from all the engineering stuff.

it's currently full of Olympics events, senses and perception (psychology) and consumer/producer surplus. (yes it's back to econs after a 3-yr hiatus)

now I wonder why am I here in MSE.
gotta 're-discover' my motivation in coming here.

// an Olympic Silver for Singapore? //

Though yesterday marked the end of a 48-year medal drought for Singapore, the debate about foreign talent is never-ending.
Perhaps this medal the table-tennis team has won for Singapore would shut the skeptics up, but my guess is that, it would not be for long.
It seems to me that only the country's leaders are excited and joyful about this occasion, as shown by ministers turning up for the matches and PM Lee doing away the live telecast of the National Day Rally (the finals against China was shown instead).
On the other hand, many people in the general population are still sceptical of the win and some may even not feel any joy or happiness.
I can understand those feelings.
Afterall, the ones who represented Singapore are not born and bred here.
However, on the other side of the coin, if the foreign talent policy did not exist, Singapore may have to wait 60, 80 or even another 100 years to win another Olympic medal.
This brings me to the question why is this so.
It's not that we don't have the local talent.
It's simply because we do not develop our homegrown talents.
There is always an opportunity cost to incur when we favour to do one thing over another.
In our society, sadly, the chase for paper and material gains has caused our sporting talents to be under-developed.
No matter how good one is in a sports, the tendency is that one would follow the society's invisble command to take on a 9-5 job, taking sports as a recreation activity.
That shows how practical Singaporeans are.
Exactly how many out there are playing sports as though it's their life?
Therein lies the difference between great athletes and average ones.
In my opinion, if you like sports, you do it for it's own sake.
You don't train for the money.

// tired //

my arms are aching
my legs are bruising
i finally learnt cycling!

// no longer a freshie- going into sophomore year//

my, how fast, one academic year has already passed.
to me, it's the feeling of trepidation as the prospect of a working life inches closer.

perhaps i should not think too much.
live for the moment, as some people might say.

anyway, it's goodbye canteen A and hello the new foodcourt.
eating has never been so cool (literally, with air-con)
however, the taste of the food did not improve.
some stalls have changed hands, like the western food (said to be a branch originally from NUS)
those which did remained have charged higher prices.
well, other than this, i also have another grumble.
today i ate char siew rice (rice is the chicken rice type) from the chicken rice stall.
it was so greasy, the char siew (they translate into BBQ pork) and rice was practically glistening at me.
my stomach did a flip flop as I tried to finish it (drinking lots of soya milk in the process)
no wonder the stall had a lack of patrons in comparison to other stalls.
i doubt the chicken rice would taste any better.
although a perennial favourite among students, i guess it will lose it appeal as it is not cooked by singaporeans.
(FYI: the cook is from a certain country that experiences winter- that explains the ultra oily dish-i don't think i need to say more)

on the academic side, it's a headache in planning the timetable as we have to think whether we want to go for overseas exchange programs in yr 3(which by the way is super ex, unless you have high GPA) whether to take a minor, whether to do yr 3 attachment overseas.
but i guess i will more or less see how it goes before deciding.
i believe, whichever road that is meant for me will appear when the time comes.
no point fretting about it now as there are so many unpredictable factors.

today i went with wt to see our mentor.
when he saw wt's cGPA, he let out a loud WOW.
lol.
well, i have WOW-ed before already, at her ~4.7 GPA
then he says to her "you are a confirmed, very safe in the first class honours region"
then they kept talking about some research programme which only the top 5% can get into .
all the while i pretended to nod and pay attention.

then, the focus turned to me.
well my Cs in math and physics did not escape his eyes and he began to frighten me off by saying I will suffer in two of the modules this sem and one module in yr 3 as those relied heavily on physics concepts.
he said it in such a matter-of-fact way that i had to agree.
the two solutions he offered:
1. ignore your weaknesses (if in future you don't intend to stay in engin industry)
2. fix your weaknesses (if you really want to become an engineer)
he says "if you can get an 'A' in MS2008 this sem, you would have eliminated your weakness"
my reaction: totally fat hope

// it's lynette's birthday! //

just came back from a k session with them and i can't seem to get some songs out of my head.

singing- a form of release

look at the cake christabel bought. it's so cute. and she was nice to make the flags with our names =D cuter!

"hello! we are P1 pupils with our name tags! uh no. we mean name flags"

//my desk is on the verge of collapsing-thankfully my world is not//

well my ultra messy desk has a lot of junk- and just a handful of useful stuff.
most of my books are on the shelves so i'm wondering why is it collapsing.
a signal that i should clear up my junk?

anyhow, i've just realise that as we grow older the world seems to get messier.
just like my desk.
we accumulate more junk as we grow.
on the other hand, we acquire more knowledge and experience as we grow.
is that considered a good thing?
i dunno.
it just seems to me that the knowledge and experience that we supposedly gain are for practical purposes like living and working in the real world.
which simply helps to contribute to our already messed-up world.

perhaps i should take back my words.
from another perspective, the world never become messier.
it's just that as we grow older, we become more aware of things happening in our country and even at the other end of the world.

i doubt if anyone would get my drift cuz i'm not too sure myself.
just some impulsive thoughts.

just want to comment that as we grow older
many things become out-of-reach.
and impossible.

for example.
a naive seven-year-old tells you,
she wants to grow up to become a teacher.
Grown-ups: Wah good girl! To be a teacher is being a useful person!

when she's eight, she says
i want to be a doctor.
Grown-ups: Good! Doctors can earn a lot of money and save people.

when she's nine, she changes her mind yet again.
i want to fly in spaceships! i want to be an astronaut.
Grown-ups: Good! What an adventurous girl!

when she's ten, her fickle mind can't stop.
i want to be a lawyer! so cool man.
Grown-ups: Yea! just talk a few sentence and you'll earn loads of money.

when she's eleven, she thought over and over. thinking very hard.
she says, i dunno what i should be in the future.
but the job must

1. make a difference in someone else's life
2. allow me to have a sense of satisfaction
3.allow me to travel to other parts of the world

Grown-ups: Girl, stop daydreaming, there's no such perfect job. just be a teacher/doctor/lawyer. you can earn loads.

At twelve, she has no time to think of a new ambition.
she has to study for Please Stop Learning Everything.

when she's in secondary school, she stops her daydreams.
she studied. she ate books.(figuratively) she swallowed that irritating "Air-math" ten-year-series.
in fact.
she studied for the sake of studying.

in jc.
she realised she could never fulfil any of her ambitions.
because she didn't want to?
because she couldn't?
because she has finally gotten a glimpse of the rat race.
she couldn't forget how horrible it is.
how impossible it is to achieve her dreams.
how elitist the society is.
how you have to be the very best to get what you want.

in the end, she realised.
perhaps she should just lead a normal life.
hold a normal nine-to-five office bound job.
earn a healthy income.
forget her ambitions.
forget her dreams.

she has to be practical.
she has to be logical.

oh how she hates the word practical.

oh, by the way, if you haven't already guessed so, the once-naive seven-year-old is yours truly =)

finally- worth the wait

//trying to get the spirits up//

yesterday.

was supposed to throw a surprise birthday celebration for a friend.
was running late, but
i cannot believe how coincidental is that.
to meet her at the door of the mrt just as i was about to alight.
then i had to fake some reason why i came despite the fact that the night before i just told her i couldn't make it for the "shopping trip"
of course that was only a smokescreen.

luckily,
still she believed my reason to be there and the surprise wasn't spoiled.
anyway, everyone went on low budget yesterday.
no popcorn or drinks for the movie, Red Cliff. 赤壁.

well, critics from ST said Red Cliff part I had less battle scenes than part II
truth be told, I thought part I had really a lot of battle scenes.
anyway, this film is rather easy to understand, even for me, a noob of the Three Kingdoms.

(i vaguely remembered my chinese sec3/4 textbook had this excerpt 赤壁之戰 whereby 周瑜 led 130 thousand troops and won the battle against 曹操 800 thousand troops. at that time i was amazed by the victory)

but i don't really understand why it had costed so much ($80 million) to film this movie.
my guess is that they spent a lot paying the extras, and for the props (a lot of ships and horses, weapons and armour)
if you ask me which part of the movie I like most, I would say the acting.
especially Takeshi Kaneshiro as 诸葛亮, and Chang Chen as 孙权.
Tony Leung Chiu-Wai as 周瑜 didn't leave much of an impression on me, though.
Vicki Zhao as Sun Shangxiang 孙尚香 fitted her onscreen personality though i'm rather taken aback by how much she has aged, even as her playful character amuses the audience, as always.
and it was unanimously agreed that the scenes in which Chiling Lin appears as 小乔 as Tony's wife, were meaningless.
perhaps in Part II her role will become more useful as the devilish 曹操 had a crush on her since aeons ago.

anyway, even though i was yawning through and half asleep at the start of the movie where 曹操 army emerged victorious against 刘备troops. (maybe the righteous side of me hated to see the devil prevail over the good)
i was wide awake when they discussed the military strategies and the first victory battle claimed by the 刘备-孙权 alliance.
but since the real 赤壁之戰 haven't been shown yet, perhaps perhaps i might catch Part II when it is showing. (who knows when?)

//lazy//

recently just too lazy to blog.
haha.
anyway, contributing to my lazy mood is due to the lazing around that I've been doing since 11 june, the day which mark the end of my jap exam.
Just to comment that I felt so lucky that I got the jap module for this special semester.
Last week, I received an e-mail that from next year onwards, NTU gonna charge 500 bucks for special sem!
Haha! I did not need to pay any additional school fees for this special sem.

While lazing around, well, I've been finding work but to no avail.
Anyway, I'm surviving on my income as a tutor.
Which serves fine except that I'm so bored in the afternoons.
Newspapers filled my mornings and that's fine cuz I don't rise early.
It's habitual, I think.
someone said before that if you are born in the morning, you'll tend to rise early and if you are born in the night, you'll tend to sleep late and it's quite true for me.

updating my life is so boring because it's truly plain.

//Seeking Gratitude//

If you woke up this morning with more health than sickness, you are more fortunate than the one million people who will not survive this week.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you can attend your religious activity or political meeting without fear of harassment arrest, torture, or death, then you are more blessed than three billion in the world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in your pocket, then you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

vacation has just started.

//feeling emo //

i wonder how people who are always at the top feel when getting their results
perhaps they find no kick in seeing their straight As results

for me, well, i was so terrified of seeing the results.
those in my jap class checked their results before going for the oral exam.
this leads me to think that i've shown no emotional maturity at all.

anyway, this sem I've done worse than last sem.
as expected.

exam results coming out on...thursday!
I think I better check the results after my oral exam.
Should I?

//what happens in Vegas//

ok. a romance comedy.
actually it wasn't what I have in mind.
haha. but it was entertaining.

like all romance comedies go.
guy meets girl.
in this case well.
ashton kutcher meets cameron diaz in Las Vegas
and they hit the slot machine jackpot.
3 million USD
well it was actually after their discussion that both will not take their one-night fling seriously.

but for 3 million USD
they went to court.
and you know, the funny court scene where they are supposed to "try" to live a marital life, otherwise the prize money will remain frozen under the court's rule.
it was funny when they tried to piss each other out.
by doing idiotic things like taking out the bathroom door.

as you might have guess,
they finally end up together.

there are simply too much coincidences in the story.
oh well.
what happens in Vegas only will happen in Vegas, in reel-life.
Real-life is much too complicated.

// it's eat-eat-eat after the exams //

I have been eating so much after the exams.
woah.
so much so I wasn't even tempted by the filet-o-fish today.

I need to stop.

Anyway, I've been accompanying my parents shopping these few days.
Went to Carrefour.
Ate a bento and a plate of western food.
glutton!

Went to JB.
Ate an american-style set lunch.
sinful!

ok, I'm so guilty.
as you might have guessed,
currently,
I'm so bored that I am actually blogging about what I ate.
yes, I'm uber bored.

there's nothing good on TV.
there's nothing to do online.
to be specific, I have already finish watching yesterday's episode of "chao ji xing guang da dao" on youtube
(so left nothing much to do)

in case you are wondering, it's a singing competition in Taiwan.
anyway, yesterday's episode was especially nice =)
the judges were supposed to eliminate 1 contestant
but they saw the tremendous effort put in by every contestant to perfect their singing as well as dancing.
in the end, no one got eliminated.
so everyone got a chance to compete again.
that's nice because some of them really can dance but cannot sing well
whereas some have good vocals but lack the body language.

i daresay, this show is at least 10times better than Singapore's Project Superstar or Sg idol for that matter.
the judges are really professional.
they are always eager to pin-point the weaknesses of the contestants
with the hope for the contestant to become better.
whereas, in singapore, the judges are much much too conservative.
assuming the judges are also similarly qualified,
judges in singapore just do not really point out mistakes or give constructive suggestions.
sometimes i really wonder they are just there for the sake of having judges?

the host, tao zi, is also great.
she herself is a singer so she also gave some good recommendations to the contestants.
she thinks on her feet and reacts quickly.
in this area, sg really pales in comparison.
the hosts are always dishing out overused, cliche comments which we have probably heard for a thousand times.

great show!
it should be broadcasted in singapore also because there's 2 singaporeans left in the competition.

//it's Oover!//

exams are finally over.

i dun wanna care abt the grades anymore.

it's time to enjoy =)

woohoo! i'm so happy!

//10 people chasing after 1 ball - one guarding goalpost//

wahaha.
never knew soccer could be so exciting.
my dad asked me to help him check the results of EPL match.
Chelsea v Man-U.
2-1.
haha.
he's disappointed i guess.
that Man-U won't be able to claim their trophy as yet.

but i stumble upon these videos.
thought they were pretty cool =P

Ballack's goal no.1--- http://videos.sapo.pt/JEZHPFWrjy63BDnkRckN

Rooney's goal --- http://videos.sapo.pt/ZPeC3jgbFEitj8rJmhPo

Ballack's penalty goal --- http://videos.sapo.pt/Ae1bOiGSTzODR0Mvnzqs

// so.......is that a confirm C grade? (or worse) //

omg.
should have S/Ued "Impact of Chem on Society"

9 marks out of 20!!

how could it be?
i did some research at least.

the last test when i did zero research,
i even managed to scrape a 12/20.
must have been by sheer luck.

so now i'm almost certain a big fat C or D will greet me.
when i read my final grade for this CBC.
gosh.
my worst mistake ever is not S/U-ing this module.

my core modules are dying and now even this elective is pushing me into the boiling, hot soup.

i am engulfed.

last two papers - Physics and CBC
will prove to be the most crucial and toughest of all.
because i've failed both CAs.

//random//

haha.

mum must be feeling strange.

one daughter being cheerful at nothing.

another one is sallow-faced.

so who's the one having exams?

you can't guess correctly based on logic.

really.

*-finding a cause for cheer in the little things in life-*

i'm quite good at that =P

//trying to keep up the optimism//

Gauss's law states the net flux through any closed surface is ......

when everybody else in the world is revising,
it seems like i'm just starting to learn everything
i took one whole day to learn electric fields and Gauss' law.
counter-productive.

why didn't i understand the concept earlier?
what was i doing during the lectures and tutorials?

it's just the start.
i've counted.
18 physics chapters to go.

not forgetting chem and impact of chem.

3 more papers to the road of freedom.

by the way, i've enrolled for jap lvl 1 module in May.
after much, much consideration.
well, in case, i've got to re-take any of the modules (predict: maths/physics/computing)
next sem.
i won't have time to study an elective then.

it's hard to keep up the optimism when things aren't going your way.

// PROCRASTINATION //

It is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time.
Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.For the person procrastinating this may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of personal productivity, the creation of crisis and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments. While it is normal for individuals to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning.

Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological or physiological disorder.
The psychological causes of procrastination vary greatly, but generally surround issues of anxiety, low sense of self-worth, and a self-defeating mentality. Procrastinators are also thought to have a higher-than-normal level of conscientiousness, more based on the "dreams and wishes" of perfection or achievement in contrast to a realistic appreciation of their obligations and potential.Author David Allen brings up two major psychological causes of procrastination at work and in life which are related to anxiety, not laziness.[citation needed] The first category comprises things too small to worry about, tasks that are an annoying interruption in the flow of things, and for which there are low-impact workarounds; an example might be organizing a messy room. The second category comprises things too big to control, tasks that a person might fear, or for which the implications might have a great impact on a person's life; an example might be the adult children of a deteriorating elderly parent deciding what living arrangement would be best.A person might unconsciously overestimate or underestimate the scale of a task if procrastination has become a habit.
From the behavioral psychology point of view, James Mazur has said that procrastination is a particular case of "impulsiveness" as opposed to self control.

The relaxed type
The relaxed type of procrastinators view their responsibilities negatively and avoid them by directing energy into other tasks. It is common, for example, for relaxed type procrastinating children to abandon schoolwork but not their social lives. Students often see projects as a whole rather than breaking them into smaller parts. This type of procrastination is a form of denial or cover-up; therefore, typically no help is being sought. Furthermore, they are also unable to defer gratification. The procrastinator avoids situations that would cause displeasure, indulging instead in more enjoyable activities. In Freudian terms, such procrastinators refuse to renounce the pleasure principle, instead sacrificing the reality principle. They may not appear to be worried about work and deadlines, but this is simply an evasion.

The genius procrastinator
Genius procrastinator is a type of relaxed procrastinator intelligent person. Unlike the typical relaxed type procrastinator, who usually does not care about what they are delaying, geniuses do care but do not need to put a great deal of effort into that area to do well, and therefore can wait until the last minute, put in minimal effort, and still produce a good result. Genius procrastinators often work well under pressure; often, when they do not have a deadline set for a project, their work lags. Other genius procrastinators are just lazy with their time in general, and when they're procrastinating in a subject that they are not as skilled at, they usually fall under the tense-afraid type (see below). A common example of the genius procrastinator is the precocious student who is working in a class where the expectations are set far below their ability level in that subject. For example, a gifted writer in a standard elementary or middle school English class often waits until the last minute to write their papers because they know that they will get an A even by putting in the lowest amount of effort possible, and that to expend any more effort than that on such an assignment would be wasteful.

The tense-afraid type
The tense-afraid type of procrastinator usually feels overwhelmed with pressure, unrealistic about time, uncertain about goals and many other negative feelings. Feeling that they lack the ability or focus to successfully complete their work, they tell themselves that they need to unwind and relax, that it's better to take it easy for the afternoon, for example, and start afresh in the morning. They usually have grandiose plans that aren't realistic. Their 'relaxing' is often temporary and ineffective, and leads to even more stress as time runs out, deadlines approach and the person feels increasingly guilty and apprehensive. This behavior becomes a cycle of failure and delay, as plans and goals are put off, penciled into the following day or week in the diary again and again. It can also have a debilitating effect on their personal lives and relationships. Since they are uncertain about their goals, they often feel awkward with people who appear confident and goal-oriented, which can lead to depression. Tense-afraid procrastinators often withdraw from social life, avoiding contact even with close friends.

oh man. I think I'm in-between the first and third
type.

//End-of-Sem//

Whoa.
It's the end of another semester.
Which means year 1 has (almost) ended.
That is.
If I managed to scrape through the exams in the next three weeks.

For this going-to-end semester, I mostly planned the timetable myself (with Liqing too)

#Lab Mondays#

The most interesting thing about doing lab experiments is that we go to different labs each week to do different stuff.
The worst: a 10-page lab report in 2 weeks
Need I say more?

#Mac Tuesdays#

The only day I can wake up at 8am, the latest among everybody in the house.
The only day I have a luxurious 2-hr lunch break.
I'll grab some food before maths tutorial (which I absolutely detest the tutor)
And have MacDonald's (under peer pressure from yb and lq)
I think I only eat and crap on those days.

#Panic-over-computing Wednesdays#

Firstly, I fear being late for the class (which I have a tendency to)
Secondly, I go frantic over how much I don't know about computing.
Not to mention that after I complied the program, the number of errors-to-be-corrected totally freaks me out.
Thirdly, the mad rush from South spine to get to the PHYSICS tutorial at the North spine is enough to make anyone breathless and lose concentration during PHYSICS.

#Evil Thursdays#

It's the most EVIL day of the week. (imagine us nearly-got-struck by lightning)
After being brain-drained by vi's loved professor Talia, there is no way anyone could still function like a normal human being.
That is when I threaten to shoot down all the birds at Hall2 while Vi professes her love for Talia to bushes and trees.
We simply suffer from laughing disorders- getting tickled by the most innocent thing we see. (namely bushes, trees, flowers, birds and Einstein)
Did I say we saw Einstein?
Yea, that's how evil it gets.

#Slack Fridays#

The day ends at 12.30, which is no surprise why it's my favourite day of the week.
Except when there is Chem test.
I'll just die of stress when I see many people get nine or ten marks (out of ten) while I could only manage a pathetic seven.


Anyway, life gets pretty mudane and routinal after some time.
For this sem, at least.
For every week, there's the same timetable, same classes, same classmates, same tutors, same route to class.

//countdown to d-day: 8 more days //

Can a SLACKER turn into a MUGGER?

//Funny -Crazy//

Water fight in NTU canteen?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_2gVzNaeso

Triple-sharing hostel rooms
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MXVYGi3DWJk

//it's time to mug//

Counting down to exams-11 days
Looking at the stuff I need to read up on, it's making me panic.
Double panic- my tutees exams are coming up too.

Well, many people say I've slackened this semester and that is no further than the truth.
Since fallen ill at the beginning of the sem, there seems like no way I could catch up with the lectures and tutorials. (or maybe it's due to my limited willpower)
I missed every single module's first tutorial and lost my head throughout the rest.
This must have been the worst time ever.
Till now, I still feel the phlegm stuck in my throat.
No matter how hard I cough, it just wouldn't come out.

Does anyone have a remedy for getting rid of phlegm?

I know I'm asking for too much, but what about a cure for sleepyness?
I want to quit dozing off during lectures.
Even I myself, am surprised at how easily I doze off during lectures and on train rides.
And I really mean, dozing off!
Not just resting my eyes.

P.S Finished《原来我不帅》on youtube. Totally hilarious.
P.P.S If you can't make sense of this entry, don't bother to try.
It is just the random ramblings of a desperate+panicky student.

//Declaration of S/U? //



come to think of it, so far i did not do well for the electives i took for this sem.

the psychology test yesterday is bound to be a goner.

the prof actually gave out two versions of the paper, namely o1 (printed on white-coloured paper) and 02 (printed on yellow-coloured paper)

i was assigned the yellow paper.

then i kept wondering what was her motive behind that.



-to prevent copying? (not very convincing since we had to leave an empty seat in between two people)

-to test if people like conventional (white test paper) things?

-to test whether what she has done would result in distraction of thought?

-to prevent people from discussing the answers after the test?

-or any other logical reason

Go figure.




erm, perhaps it is a test of something.

haha anyway, we were sort of being "manipulated" as the"independent variable" in the sense of what we have learnt in our module.

anyway, vi took the white paper whereas i took the yellow one.

when we compared the questions we took, we realise she probably set the same questions for both versions but changed the order of questions.

wahaha.
who in the world can interpret her "Einstein-like" brain juices?
not forgetting why on earth did she imitate his hairstyle...=P

//the need to psycho myself to study psychology//

psychology is hard.
somemore it's more difficult for me since i have no natural aptitude for it.
in addition, i'm more SLACK than ever.
vi absolutely adore prof talia whereas i do not.
talia is a weird character but i guess that's what you would become after years of psychology.
i'm not surprised.

everything is a possibility.
no right or wrong answer.
a logical one would do.
the problem lies in the fact that each and everyone of us has a different definition of what is logical.

//friends- forever possible?//

Even though I had laughed it off, what liqing said today about friends stayed in my mind until now.

Why do we make friends in:

1) Primary school?
- To play hopscotch, skipping
-To exchange stickers, stamps
-To talk with
-To complain about teachers with
-To ask, confirm, double confirm what homework the teacher gave

2) Secondary school?
-To discuss homework with
-To consult teachers with
-To complain about teachers with
-To join CCA with
-To gossip with
- To compare results with
-Because everyone go in groups and you don't want to be a loner

3) JC/Uni?
-To copy their homework
-To gossip with
-To complain about teachers with
-To widen your social circle
-Because they may be your future colleagues
-you don't want to feel alienated

It just seems that there is lesser and lesser reasons to make friends as you grow up.
Maybe that's why childhood friends are the best.
But one never knows when someone will change.
It is just so sad.
Societal needs has changed the way we make friends.
Who are your true friends who truly appreciates you for what you are?
And who are those who just to get something out of you?
It's hard to tell.

But as I think again, instead of bearing grudges against those "friends" whom had tried to make use of you...
Why not just keep an open mind and simply enjoy whatever that comes?
The world has its fair share of manipulative people.
Let's be one of those sincere ones instead.
Instead of doubting people every now and then, I think I'll rather simply treat every friend with sincerity and compassion.
I don't know whether I can seriously pull it off but I'll am going to give it a try if I happen to meet such people again.

//The Leap Years//

For the first time, I realise you are a reflection of me.
I see myself in you.
You are chasing your dream while I am chasing after you.

- KS (Qi Yuwu)

//homework pile up high //

the things I've got to do is still as many as ever.
my weekends are still as packed as ever.
anyway, yesterday we celebrated wx's birthday.
the mind cafe at prinsep st actually opens at 2pm but we thought it was at 12.
once the b'day boy cum outing planner announce the fact to us, we could not contain our displeasure.
come to think of it, it was no doubt a natural reaction but...haha we had unwittingly reprimanded the b'day boy.
maybe i think too much.
it's my tendency to do so.
anyway, the games were quite fun and 4-6 people is really the optimal size to play board games.
however i was quite irritated with the table of girls seated diagonally opposite us.
if you guess it, yes, they were screaming too loudly.
ok it is an understatement.
they were practically screaming as though their lives depended on this game.
in other words, they were screeching our ears off.
even the other patrons at the counter gave them a second look.
i guess they were wondering whether they have should entered this place at all.
after all, it wasn't worth it to sacrifice their hearing just for a few hours of board games.
anyway, they took the tables instead of the sofas.
after mind cafe, the rest of them went swensen's for the b'day cake and glass house for Fish & Co. while i made my way home for tuition.
(oh man, I haven't ate b'day cakes and fish & co. for quite some time.)

//k-box day//

Well, I've been slacking this few days.
Bet I'll be doing last minute work over the weekend.


I haven't do my part for effective com assignment.
I haven't start on the formal lab report.
I haven't started writing.
I haven't catch up with all the tutorials.
I haven't done my effective com reflection paper.
I haven't studied for Chem and Psycho tests.


I bet you can't believe how good I am at slacking.

Sat: Rehearsal+tuition
Sun: Rehearsal +tuition
Monday: watched 原來我不帥! (JJ is so darn funny!)
hope this will not be shown on TV too. like the 公主小妹.
else it will just waste my time on youtube.
Today: K-box marathon with lynette and christabel. (11am-6.30pm...so tiring!)
Wed: Mind Cafe?
Thurs: PROJECT
Fri: The Leap Years?

//busy//

haha. temptations are hard to resist.
but why buy something which you would hardly wear?
looking good vs comfortable.
had a fun time trying on clothes with hj, eunice, yv.
it's as though the shop belonged to us. lol.

//sunny //

Found on facebook.com=)


Based on your birthday ...
You have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This might happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut yourself from the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a slight chance for self-control problem. Your Love. Your love progress slowly, and quietly. You seem to be contented with your unrequited love. You are a romantic and loyal lover.

-wow...90% true!




Your greatest STRENGTHS ...
Optimistic, brilliantly sociable and motivated to win the best in life.

-eh. optimistic, sociable and motivated? doesn't sound like it's me..





Your greatest WEAKNESS ...
Unrealistic, stubborn and reluctant to confront problems.

-100% true!

Jobs you SHOULD pursue ...
Politicians and media men.

-yea right. capitalising on my non-existent strengths. Plus, can politicians even afford to be unrealistic, stubborn and ignore problems?

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors. If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs. As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human. And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

// Happy Chinese New Year? //

Yesterday, 8th Feb was the first day of the lunar year and my family so happened to join the hordes of foreigners in the "Sentosa Flowers 2008".

Despite being Singaporeans, ironically, we were in the same predicament as those bangladeshi and china people as the bulk of our relatives were also in another country.(m'sia)

Hence, once we reached harbourfront bus terminal, what greeted us was a snake-like queue for the bus to Sentosa. In fact, the queue appeared to have no end to it.

Drats!

Thus, we went to check out the new monorail booth in vivocity and were faced with the exact same situation of long queues.

Hmph...if we had decided to visit our relatives in m'sia, we'll be faced with the same long queues at the customs.

Looks like there is no way we can escape queuing up during public holidays!

Well, unless we just stay at home and be couch potatos...

Anyway, when we finally reached Sentosa, the flowers were nothing to be "wowed" about.

My mum was disappointed that the flowers were not as blooming as those she saw in Taiwan.

My dad was commenting that you can't even admire the flowers with so many people around, which was a very apt description.

But the most maddening thing was that some foreigners cut queue twice!

Firstly, when we were queuing to go into the monorail station, the group of them just pretend to hang around and then walked into the queue when it was moving.

Right in front of the group of bangladeshi who were queuing in front of us!

My mum said she would have yelled at them if any of them dared to cut right under our noses.

Then, as we were queuing to get into the monorail, another group of them from the SAME country rushed in from the front without queuing at the back.

This time, right in front of our noses.

And the crowd controller wasn't even looking.

In the end, since they rushed in and there were no space for us to get in, my parents and I pointed at them and shouted "Never queue!" in Chinese.

And they still dared to bare their teeth and smiled as the monorail went away!

Well, since they understood us, I think you would have guessed which country they were from.

In addition, as we were first in queue, waiting for the next monorail, another group of people from the SAME country also almost cut the queue.

My family sort of "worked" for Sentosa Express monorail for 10 mins.

We pointed to the back whenever anyone tried to cut the queue.

Altruism, isn't it?

What a eventful day.

// wedding bells //

Yesterday was my cousin's wedding.
Actually i have never spoken to him before.
I rarely see him at my grandma's during CNY which is about the only time i visit my grandma in Johor.

Anyway, during CNY all the males would gather at the gambling table throughout the day while the females chat and cooked.

Me and my sis would just watch TV.

Sometimes, it really seems awkard.

Relatives.

People of the same ancestry as me.

People whose blood flows the same as me.

Yet I just felt very distant from them.

Perhaps for some, I wouldn't even recognise them on the streets.

Strangely, the relationship is even more non-existent than with your typical hi-and-bye friends.

Yesterday morning was the tea ceremony and we just hang around to show our face there.

Then once the groom and bride left the groom's house, we couldn't wait to go off.

At night, there was the wedding banquet, as usual, at Park View Holiday Inn hotel.

Needless to say, the ambience, service and food was good.

Before the first course- cold dish was served, the waiters, waitresses and chefs even danced around on the red carpet!! =P

But i felt like attending my next-block neighbours' son's wedding.

Not my own cousins'.

The dinner started at 9pm sharp and ended at 11pm.

Oh what i meant was that we went off at 11pm.

we- my grandma, uncles, aunties- all of them live in JB and, of course my family.

We skipped the desert on the menu cuz it was taking them so long.

And not to mention that my relatives needed to return to JB.

souvenir 1- metal bookmark (cute!)

souvenir 2 -cup mat (nice!)

The words printed on it : "Love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another..."

//random//




VOTE for Singapore to be on the new monopoly world edition! =P

http://www.hasbro.com/games/kid-games/monopoly/

none

//new to multiply//

//rainy day//



gosh.
3 chapters (le chatelier's principle, entropy & free energy, rxn in aq solutions) in one lecture.
meet my motor-mouth chem lecturer.




like the faceless, gloomy walls
she dwell in misery
laughter is not the best antidote
to worries, unsecurities or fear
just providing a moment of relief
to ease weariness
just providing an escape route
to keep away troubles on the mind

like the barrier between immates and their relatives
she is disconnected from the world
articulation is not a difficult task to many
spoken words, written letters
perhaps she's just the exception~
perhaps...

//sometimes//

Sometimes I just wonder who I am.
You know...a loss of identity.

Most of the times, I go with the flow.
I observe rules and regulations, for fear of treading over the line.
But sometimes, rebellious thoughts just occur in my mind.
I did everything that is the opposite of what I should have done.

Sometimes I can talk alot but usually I don't want to.
Just dreamily observing people.
Around me or just on the streets.

Sometimes I will stay strong in times of adversity.
Other times, I will just crack under the pressure.

I don't know why I am typing this post.
Or for that matter, the other posts.
Especially when I have lots of other stuff to do.
Maybe I can just conclude that this blog is an outlet to vent my feelings.

Currently I'm feeling quite down.
Who wouldn't be when your mum just reprimanded you?
For your info, she is not that unreasonable.
But the thing is I can't talk reason with her.
She will just say that I'm retorting her.

The matter is that I'm too busy (or don't want to make time) for those minor things.
So I hope that she wouldn't act as though it's the end of the world when I forgot to do them.
Seriously, I'm not that FREE!
If you look at my (soon-to-be) schedule posted last entry.
I also have a bad memory for remembering details and doing little things.

So I was being rebellious when I locked myself (just now) inside the study room.
After a long and hard day at school and tuition, the last thing I want to hear is someone nagging at me.

// Busy!! //

Oh man, I'm so far behind time in my tutorials.
Last week, I missed out on all the tutorials except physics.
Why?
Thanks to my non-stop cough.
And I'm still suffering from it. (a tweeny-weeny bit better though)

Physics: tutorial 1-absolutely know idea what is it...E-fields make me see stars
tutorial 2- not done even though it is due tomorrow..what on earth is Gauss Law?

Maths: tutorial 1- 7 more questions to cover

Chem: Haven't even start- due on fri

Computing: Haven't even start

Effective Com: Haven't even taken a look at it

Fundamentals of Social Research: tutorial 2 due on thurs

Impact of Chem on society: No tutorials =)

And in addition, there is still this endless list of things to do.

Student division (religion): Complete powerpoint presentation for this sun's activity
Do up the script for presentation (I'm getting cold feet!)
Call up members to inform them of the activity-(done!)
Thurs nights are sometimes reserved for home visits.

MuSE : Two articles due next tues

Furthermore, there's tuition!
Oh man why did the school term start so fast?
Mon,tues,wed nights
Saturday morning afternoon
Burnt!

One more tutee means a busier schedule.
One thing I can conclude: This market is definitely lack of tutors.

And, er-hem...kids who hire private tutors definitely need them!

Well, take me as a case study, my tutees have one or more of the following characteristics

1. Too hyper
2. Too lazy
3. Need people to supervise them or else they will NOT do work
4. Gets distracted easily
5. Doesn't pay attention in class
6. Needs umpteen times of explanation before they get the rough idea

I used to think giving tuition was easy money.
And what I thought couldn't be further from the truth.

Blah blah blah. Feeling too restless to do anything.
This blog entry serves as a "To-do" list for me.

//ramdom//

bored at home.
didn't go school cuz i'm coughing non-stop!
Like Pringles, once you start, you can't stop.
lame i know -.-
Especially at night, it's worse.
I can't sleep well.

So today, I missed the first computing tutorial.
And physics tutorial.
Not to mention the first lecture of Impact of Chem on Society.
Argh.
I had really wanted to go for the computing tut cuz I have no idea what programming is about.
Nevermind, it's over.

By the way, I have no idea why I can't install my Trend Micro internet security on my laptop.
I wonder why.
There is a error message everytime I try to install it.

Well, just got to know that mel fu is super hardworking.
She stays in the office till 8pm!
So late! I can't imagine lah.

//online window shopping//

Hmm...nowadays there's nothing much to do online.
Especially now that I promised my mum not to play Audition during term time.
Recently saw the "Romantic Princess" advert on TV.
Feel so cheated!!
I was watching it on youtube recently and now it's gonna show on TV.
Why?
Basically I'm a lazy person.
Watching short, one-episode videos on youtube does not prove much of a challenge but watching a drama serial is.
To me, it is so troublesome, I have to click on a link to get to the next part every ten mintues.
Bother!
Lol.
Watching it on TV is much more easier.
But anyway, I already finished watching it.
No use crying over spilled milk.
Haha! I'm so proud that I managed to recognise the "Gong Moli" to be Genie Zhuo Wen Xuan.
Wanted to catch the Vic Zhou and Patty Hou show on youtube...but forget it!
The show may be shown on TV after some time.

So now, the latest thing I'm hooked onto is online window shopping!
So far haven't bought anything yet but saw some stuff that I quite like.
Most are pay first, receive goods later...so don't really know which sites are trustworthy.
Shimin recommended me one though...
Most sell stuff that are reasonably priced but the qualiy...I wouldn't know how much it differs from the photos.
Some sell second hand stuff...which I wouldn't dare to buy.
Haha. I prefer sites that helps people to order stuff from Korea, Japan and Taiwan fashion stores.

//home visit-thurs//

Back from amk home visit.
Went to 2 students' homes.
Before we got to the first one, ruifang was telling me what her patients did in IMH.
It was to prepare my mentality when we went to visit the first student.
This is because her family has a history of schizoprenia.
Father is ~ so two daughters also abit ~
I was told that the last time someone visited them 2 years ago, the flat was in total darkness.

When we arrived at #02-12, there was a taller-than-us bookshelf-turned-shoe rack smacked right at their doorstep.
We were at a loss as the house was apparently uninhibited.
Right at this moment, their Indian neighbours was peering at what we were trying to do.

So we decided to ask them about the family's whereabouts.
Initially we were shocked to learn that the family had moved out 2 years ago and the flat had been unoccupied since then.
They told us that the family either moved to Woodlands...then corrected that they moved to SengKang. Lol.
The funniest thing was that they said the couple had two girls who are toddlers.
We were supposed to look for a 14 and 19-year old.
Then we realised that in our anxiety, we had read the address wrongly.
We had walked past the unit #02-16.
Lol.

I commented to Ruifang that it was a good sign that there appears to be light coming out of the translucent window.
And it really was not so bad as we had imagined.
A teenage girl, the younger 14-year old opened the door after some assurance that we are not some salesgirls.
In fact, judging from our conversation separated by the metal grille, (we were not allowed in) her family appears to be in a not-so-good situation, but at least everything about her appeared to be normal.
A 14-year old, enrolled in secondary 2 answering calls on her handphone occasionally.
However, our eyes did not miss the pair of legs peeking out from the door.
Our guess is that they belonged to her father's. As her father is rather ill.
I tried to take a closer view of the living room and realised that the house is rather spartan with old furnitures. Wah. this brings me to the question of how she got the money to acquire a rather new handphone. What about the bills?
Perhaps she shares it with her elder sis who should be working already.
I also did notice that her eyes were rather big but the way she looked at me is strange.
Friendly definitely...but strange.
Was it because that I got to know about her background so I tend to stereotype?
I don't know.

The second home was also in amk, but we had to take another bus from the interchange.
Quite near aj, in fact.
I met this girl before at a camp but don't really know her personally.
Haha. That time, I was in the treasury/admin com so I was supposed to collect money from the campers.
At that time I had no idea of her family's financial situation so I actually came up to her to collect the camp fees. She gave me a blur look. Then another person told me she didn't have to pay.
Now, having completed her Os and working at a bookstore, she looked different.
More confident and energetic than before.
Plus, she talked more too.
Maybe an additional income to the family really had helped.
I don't know much about her family.
But I can gathered that her dad must have caused trouble to the family.
Ruifang says that no matter how much we hate our parents, we must still be thankful to them cuz they gave us life.
It is our negative kharma.
Afterall, one of the debts of gratitude is one of to our parents.
Really hope that she can have the strength to do so.
Though it won't be easy to show compassion towards someone you dislike.

I guess it is good to home visit people sometimes.
I got to see more of the society's other facades.
In comparison, our lives are not bad.
And I felt that we are really fortunate people.
To have a good family and kind parents.

// ushering the new year and new semester //

Can't believe it.. 2008 has arrived.
It seems like yesterday when people were getting excited at welcoming the new millenium.
Looking forward to many things....amongst them, the Beijing Olympics.
But it won't be so soon i guess.

In the new semester, I will "look forward" to computing and the expected, physics.
At the same time, I hope my electives will be interesting.
Impact of Chemistry on society and Fundamentals of social research.
Next sem, i must try to secure the Intro to psychology..
Hmm.. i don't know what else to write about.
Stuck.

Ok, anyway, for this week, we'll only be having lectures and no tutorials.
By the way, my latest days are until 4.30pm!
Haha. so happy =)
But so sian...got to give tuition at nights.
Blah.

Hope I can do better this sem.
At least a 4.0 man!
Jia you!
Physics... Grr ... I must conquer it!

// sharing the same sentiments //

i hate physics.
physics hate me.

but the next sem I still need to study physics.

Till now I haven't known of anyone getting a worse grade than mine.
Why am I lamenting?
Perhaps I should be thankful that I did not have to re-take physics.

A big fat C for physics.

life science, materials science: B+
maths, lab, management: A-
Sem overall GPA: 3.8

all the hard work and toiling for 3 mths.
I really need to buck up!

// the dreaded //

Ntu exam results will be out on 28 dec.
Thanks to Deb that I got to know this.

Anyway, It is very strange.
Ntu students took the exams first but Nus students got to know their results first.

Waiting for the bomb to drop on me.
The Physics bomb.
I'm hoping I won't flunk it cuz the consequences will be disastrous.

// sick //




I forgot I was ill for how many days.
Sore throat turned flu turned fever.

Currently, I'm still nursing a flu and cough.

Recently, so many thoughts flooded my mind but I was simply too lazy to log in to post an entry.
Now, not that I lost the enthusiasm to blog but those thoughts became too vague in my current state of mind.

Something about time passes too quickly?

Humans are strange.
Humans like me.
When a new year comes around, people always thought that they have a lot of time to do the things they want.
However, when a year is about to end, people will think that a year has passed so quickly and there's still lots of stuff yet to be accomplished.

And I have grown old.
Imagine going to 20 years old.
2 decades.
Seems like a long time to me, hence I don't believe I've really lived through almost 20 years.
Truth be told, I still feel like a 10 year old.
Perhaps humans only start to experience life when they are of a certain age.
When people were young, they probably had not much collection of what they undergone.
And they were most likely being controlled by their parents anyway.
To me, from the very moment that you are able to decide something on your own, this is the very moment you start to experience life.
Don't know how true is this but this is my theory.

On a lighter note, my dad came back from China!
Luckily we didn't go to airport to receive him.
His flight was delayed due to technical problems.
That is really what you would expect from China Airlines.

// busy busy busy slack //

Yay! Today is the last day of my work!
Come to think of it, I was quite lucky at every place i worked.
As in my boss would always buy a lot of things to eat.
Take for example, this enrichment centre.
Last week, it was the principal's birthday hence I got to eat KFC.
Today, they had Christmas day celebration so I had the chance to stuff myself with pizzas, munchies, drumlets and garlic bread.
How sumptous!

For the past weeks I have been busy.
Work Tuition Audition

Last Saturday, It was on such a rare occasion that I was able to make it for 18/05 class outing.
Seriously I don't know how long I haven't seen my classmates.
Most probably since we've have gotten our A level results. lol.
Had a good time eating and chatting at Sakae Sushi.
Somehow, that day gave me a feeling that no one has changed since our JC years.
The girls, are still girls, always preferring to talk outside of academic work and delving into gossips and the latest fashion.
The guys, are still guys, always preferring to talk about army life and comparing varsities.
Anyway, that day was tiring becuz in the morning, I got out of the house at 8am for the Student Activity meeting, followed by giving tuition.

Sunday
So happy that the December Student Activity was a success!
That is my religious stuff.
I did not have the time to help out much but everyone did a great job!
Looking forward to making great strives in year 2008...

Rainy Monday
Met up with meiting and weiqi.
We went to...yea, you guessed it, Bugis St.
Shopping yea, but we were not impulsive buyers, believe me, I have seen really impulsive ones.
Supposed to go outdoors but...anyway, the weather disapproves too.
Found a nice top only when we have walked around..erm was it three rounds?
Perhaps we walked more than three rounds?
Anyway, next Monday, I'll be meeting them again.
It will be at Far East Plaza right?
Great let's see what they have there.
I was initially estatic about going for Pepper Lunch but currently I'm having a sore throat from the black pepper chicken pizza I ate in the afternoon so...
I really hope my throat will be healed by Monday!

Just got an SMS from sherlyn- Sengkang students outing tomorrow is cancelled.
Yay! Tomorrow is therefore, declared as "The Ultimate Slack Day"
My plan is to jog in the morning, followed by reading books and lots of gaming.

Now my dad is leaving with his luggage off to the airport...no, not running away from home...
He is off with his colleagues for the annual company tour, this time to China- Kunming, Yunnan, Li Jiang, Shangri-la.
Supposedly, my mum would be accompanying him but she fell ill yesterday and couldn't recover in time.
I guess, that is becuz she had the wrong Ichinen initially.
Ichinen~jap: first thought
At first, she was reluctant to go for the trip becuz she heard horror stories about how high the mountains at Li Jiang was, how low the oxygen level at Shangri-la was.
But humans always find themselves in a dilemma.
Since the trip was heavily subsidised by the company, it would be a waste if she didn't go.
Hence, my dad signed her up for the trip.
However, over the past two months, she had been changing her mind of going, lamenting that she'll feel giddy and nauseous at a place so high above the sea level.
Now that she fell sick, she is guilty that my dad would have to go alone without her.
Some humans are really strange creatures.

//no reception//

there just isn't any reception on my mobile phone at my workplace.
i can't call or sms at all.

The past two days were totally DISASTROUS.
Today I was in-charge of 3 levels, P1, P2, P6 all in one classroom.
This was due to the fact that one teacher took half-day emergency leave and two other teachers went on an excursion with some of the kids.
The P1s were attention-seeking, the P2s were noisy and the P6 had finished their work long long ago.
Absolutely fabulous.

The kids say: Teacher likes to eat deep-fried eyeballs and drink lemon bloody.
I say: Yes, preferably, the donor is a primary 1-6 kid.
They say: Yewww!

The Truth: I can't wait to skin all of them alive!!!

FYI: Last week during science experiment, I accidentally burst a balloon and scared one of the P6s so much so that he jumped out of his chair and fell to the ground.

//underground//

The enrichment centre is on the basement level.
Well, as I would have expected, a horrendous yesterday.
First day with the primary school kids can be well summed-up as horrendous.
At around 5pm, I thought I would never made it home.
It was "Fun with English" with the P2s, all of whom possess an enormous source of energy.
Plus, they had good lungs and diagphrams, which enabled them to render me almost DEAF.
Thanks to their screaming and shouting, they couldn't hear me.
I mean, it was 18 of them versus me.
Needless to say, it was totally havoc until a teacher two doors away, heard their screams and came into the classroom to take a look.
Her lungs was at least ten times more powerful than theirs.
Once overpowered, the P2s became cute, innocent faces again.

I totally admire the teachers there because they have the patience, the ability to control all the children and the knowledge to teach.

My first lesson was actually at 9am in the morning and it had gone relatively well.
The P5/6 class was smart and they did not scream at all.
However, some of them were too loud for their own good.
And, I was so "lucky" that one of the boys vomit a few drops of Milo on his paper.
Argh!!

Then, when it was nap time, one of the P2 boys woke up with a patch of redness on one of his cheeks because he had been sleeping on his RED file and had drooled.
Lol.

On the first day, I returned home with a backache.

Today, in the morning I met with my P5/6 again for "Write it well"
So they completed the work super fast and played their games.
I even played Deal or No Deal with them.
And I got a good deal!

In the afternoon, it was "IQ Math" with P3s.
They were super noisy. Less shouting than the terrible P2s though.
Hence I kept them with absolute silence inside the classroom even after they have completed their work.
It means no TV time for them!
I noticed that some of the P3s were rebellious.

On the second day, I returned home with a weak voice.

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to do the Science experiment "Needle through a balloon" with
the P5/6s and I'm fearing the worst will happen.

Afternoon, there is no class assigned to me and I hope I'll get a half-day off!
It is a tiring job that drains you of all your energy. (and voice)
Nevertheless, this is definitely more fun than a 9-5 office job due to the unpredictable and spontaneous nature of this job.
BUT I have to re-iterate the point that I have no wish to become a teacher.

Too tough for me.