crap.
slack.
fail.
immune.
sleep.

lifestyle since last year.
hate it.
no one choose to be born a loser but there are definitely people who are born losers.
change your fate.
choose to be a winner.
strong willpower.
easier said than done.

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

Your Luck Quotient: 60%

You have an average luck quotient.There's been times when you've been extremely lucky... but also times when you've been very unlucky.You probably know that you can make your own luck in life, if you're open to it.So listen to your intuition as much as you can. It's right more often than you might expect.

How Lucky Are You?

//sudden downpour//

Nothing has ever suceeded.
I found this similarity between myself and the main character of the comic strip "Born Loser".

//Scotching sun//

that day mel fululu was saying that I only have 100m left…
whereas she still have 4km to cover.
That is… if the A-levels is a 5km run.
Haha. Words from a netballer.
Anyway, I still prefer to think that I have 400 metres left.
Ok..i’m probably trying to escape from reality.
Glad that she's doing well in maths.
More kiasu, more pia, fretting more over results.


Today there is this J1 and J2 bonding.
We played "zhong ji mi ma"
I was SUPER, DUPER HENG!!!
Luckily ee kent was game enough.
Anyway got a free lunch… hee.. pizza!
But I don't know why fululu was giving me this weird look when I cheered.
Haha. I bet you never see me cheer before.


Then, I went to causeway point with lynette and christabel.
we were like so excited taking neoprints.
haha. when the time given for decoration was up, all 3 of us screamed!
er- i think it was the 1st time this year that i actually screamed.
A pity wei zi couldnt join us =(
Watched "The Shaggy Dog"
It was a so-so movie.
And, we were late because of the popcorns and drinks.
Actually, I don't know whether to classify it as a comedy.
There are many funny, or I should say, not-so-funny scenes.
It is because while I thought some parts were quite funny, it was not funny enough to evoke laughter.
So, for most of the movie, I was struggling between to laugh or not to laugh.
Yea. It was that strange kind of movie.
Also… it reminded me of the exorcism of Emily rose due to the courtroom scenes.
At the same time it was quite heart-warming as it shows that each family member tries not to hurt the others through a high level of tolerance.
Actually the best part was when the credits roll and pictures comparing dogs in different poses with humans in the same pose.
The similarities were uncanning.
ok ok..i'm not exactly an animal lover..

oh. no. i'm 44% abnormal.
wadeva that means.

today not in a very good mood.
i know she is trying not to lose her temper.
too many a time i caught her trying to control herself when she felt like scolding people.
in the end, however, she did.
i thought she was going mad.
with anger.

what have we done to deserve this?
i know many people are concerned about our gp grades.
please do not commit the fallancy of "hasty generalisations"
but people, having dreams is definitely not enough.
we lack the action.
to turn dreams into realiy.


yesterday afternoon pe was like mad.
running with filled i-sport bottles.
did standing broad jumps until legs hurt like crazy, until can only jumped less than 1 metre.


wednesday was super busy.
as usual i will flunk my chem test...
chines "ao" get B3...mediocre results.
but i'm not re-taking.. no.
who cares about the bell-shaped curve.
so what if i'm average?
studying is for the sake of gaining knowledge and experiences, not to achieve perfect grades.
in other words, grades are the result of stuying.
becoming a more knowledgeable and having a critical mind are the effects of studying on a person.

Futhermore, i think life is a gamble and everyone should have one fair and equal chance.
so today, a second chance is given to me...
but there is no guarantee that the next time i will still have one more chance.
reminds me of jack neo movie "one more chance"..
face it.
facts are cruel.

You Are 44% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Your Birthdate: November 2

You're so intuitive, it's like you have a sixth, seventh, and eighth sense.You connect with others freely and easily - and you tend to have many best friends.Warm and caring, it's hard for you to close your heart to anyone.Affection is like air for you - you need to give and receive it to survive. Your strength: Your universal compassion Your weakness: Your unpredictable mood swings Your power color: Mauve Your power symbol: Butterfly Your Hidden Talent You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.And while this may not seem big, it can be.It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices. What's" Your Hidden Talent?

// Sunny! //

// dont make people to go against their will //
// my motto //

Today mrs chng sent me on a strange errand
Find a person in 0905
And I don’t know who is she and what she look like

I thought I would need the rest of the periods to find her
Moreover, my phone battery died on me so I couldnt find help
Since its during her break, it would be even harder to find
She could be in the canteen ordering food or eating or at the ohana or outside audi or mugging in some classroom or at the library or reading room, or in the nexus or even in the toilet
Great…

I was at the canteen when I saw my saviour, ho ying
It suddenly came to my mind that shes from 09.
Seeing that she was packing her bag, looking ready to leave, I almost ran towards her
She directed me to the girl sitting alone on a bench, her eyes glued to the edu tv.
I waved at her, trying to catch her attention.
Just then, I saw some guys seated at the table behind her giving me strange looks.
No idea why.

I asked to confirm her identity and told her mrs chng wanted to see her.
Mrs WAD? She asked.
Me: mrs chng
She: who is she?
Me: my gp tutor.
In fact, in less than the 2 mins or so, she shot at me several questions.
She: See me for wad?
Me: I have no idea.
She: I hope its not that I have to write some commonwealth essay.
She: how did u managed to find me?
Me: she says you will be having lunch.
Bell rings
She: now I have lessons.
Me: oh
She: you are the rep?
Me: uh-huh
She: You have lessons now?
Me: Ya.
She: Only one class having lessons in an LT?
Before I could answer, we already reach LT5 and she was in front of me.
Well, she walks real fast.
Apparently, she was eager to go for her lessons, on the other hand, I was not-so-eager to get back to class.

Then I looked at the clock.
I had managed to find her within 10 mins.
Mrs chng was surprised.
So was I.

Currently i'm also having a bout of bad luck.
chem pre-spa. skill D score 1/8, 2/8, 0/8
I lost my GP times and prelim papers and file.
I have no idea where it went. thought it was always in the locker.
and i disseminate wrong info about what to bring for gp to shuiyong and hoe seng. paiseh. :-P

//Sunny//

wow.
harmo practices are getting more n more intensive!
until 7+ lah
It's such a big change from last year
when it was quite slack
but it's ok...
can crap more with lyn and bel...haha
ok, we don't talk crap!

What's wrong with me har?
Anyway, many people say my last few entries are depressing...
well, my prayers are answered...
suddenly got this career guide selling.
And i just had a grab a copy...

Ok, i promise to be more inspiring in future..
yea. that's the way.

What is your problem?

I kept asking myself...
Losing interest in sch?
No friends?
Lousy teachers?
JC is not your cup of tea?
Or just plain stupid?


Silence...
Nothingness...
My words just fade into the background
No answer.
No echo.
This time round, silence is NOT golden.
Its due to a mixture of fear, intimidation, confusion.


So the career test did enlighten me, teething...
And i've decided to buy the straits times career guide to see what kind of occupation suits me
and whether i can make it
But i "you xin wu li"...
"li bu cong xin"
haiz~


Some more...
I began to fear the a-lvls
I realised.
From the 2nd intake last year till now...
I've never gotten even a B grade in ANY of my TESTs or EXAMs for ANY subject.
I've never been so DEAD before.
That time the Maths target setting form..
I still dare to put A for my a-lvls
well done...I
'm just waiting to meet my DOOM.


So what if I've dropped Econs?
Time and tide waits for no man.
Should not have taken right from the start.
Perhaps I have over-estimate my abilitiesIts too late.
Maybe if I had taken 3 subs right from the start, things may have been different.
Perhaps...


From primary schoolS...then secondary schoolS
NO teacher has ever need to tell me to buck up.
now...firstly, last year chio tells me that maybe i'm not putting in enough effort
How much is considered enough?
And also... maybe my method of studying is wrong.
maybe discussing qns with my classmates will help.
maybe I had needed time to adapt...


So...it has been like, a year.
Excuses made last year cannot be recycled this year.
They have exceeded their validity date.
This year ms goh ask me...why are you not getting an A?
I stunned...
I quickly replied that I have never even gotten a B.
An A grade to me is like..so far and yet so far..near infinity.
Stress mounting up high.
Push yourself hard, she says
I nodded.
You have to try to get close to A, then get A, so that u can know the feeling
I said, yes, I'll try.
But there is this significantly louder voice within me that says:
Are you sure you can do it?
The words kept whirling through my mind.
And all my past failures,
be it academic or everyday-related,
keeps reeling..
like films..
in my head.


Now I ask myself...I
s it a psychological barrier?
Or is it plain stupidness?

Silence repeats itself.



P.S. on a lighter note, I don't know how to tag mt's blog and teehting, please meet up with us to collect your prezzieS!

You Should Learn Spanish

For you, learning a language is about career advancement and communication.Knowing Spanish will bring you tons of possiblities for jobs and travel. Bárbaro!

What Language Should You Learn?

Your Career Type: Investigative

You are precise, scientific, and intellectual.Your talents lie in understanding and solving math and science problems. You would make an excellent: Architect - Biologist - ChemistDentist - Electrical Technician - MathematicianMedical Technician - Meteorologist - PharmacistPhysician - Surveyor - Veterinarian The worst career options for your are enterprising careers, like lawyer or real estate agent.

What's" Your Ideal Career?

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness.Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.Most things in your life are organized and planned well.But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness.You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism.You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high.In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

// the weather is hot, the wind cold//

I dunno what to do with my own life.
Sound stupid? It probably is.
Everybody that I know knows what they want.
Business, biotech, engineering, accountancy...whatvever.
But why am I LOST?

sometimes I think I need a BREAK.
And learn meditation and meditate for 3 days so that i will come into conscious knowing what I want.
Crazy.
But no kidding.

//sunny!//

haiya..
I had thought "memoirs of a geisha" would be a nice show to watch.
The conclusion christy n grace n me got was that this is a jap's wartime portrayal of present-day DOMs in s'pore hankering over young china girls.
haha.
btw, i think it should be rated nc-12
Cuz a young child was crying when ziyi zhang (that's what the westerners call her) was forcibly undo her kimono
ok. some parts of the movie left me fuming mad. maybe we should take comfort that we live in present-day s'pore where women are treated with respect..









CNY is soon gonna be over.
so sad.
nevermind i still have my new year goodies to eat.
yea!
this year i didnt go malaysia because no coach tickets! ='(
but i went to the Istana...1st time ok
then my mum got to shake hands with the president.
wow.

i know i should start to study now but i feel like an engine without oil. stuck.
Stuck in the grey area between the possible and impossible.
In other words, lost.
where should i start from?
today i went to a blk 11 toilet and there was some paper stuck behind the doors which says something like...
"start with the neccessary, then the possible then achieve the impossible..."
ya. something like that.
i want to do something like that.
but time do not permits.

// heng- it stopped raining after i got off the bus //

Last week was a "suay" week for me.
Mon- got burnt during chem pract
Wed- idiotic people totally irritates me! feel like wacking people!
Fri-hearing the same old preach from different teachers totally make me sian.

btw, i made a small pile playing poker during cny...
haha.
if not that i got gp homework to do, i wld have made an even bigger pile..
aiya. cny hols r over so soon.
time to buck up!!
i noe u dun wish to hear the same old preach from teachers again and again.
oops. talking to myself.

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT) You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas. You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy! Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people. In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally. You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought. Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals. In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent. At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia. With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well. As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly. On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

Your Power Color Is Teal

At Your Highest: You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future. At Your Lowest: You feel in a slump and lack creativity. In Love: You tend to be many people's ideal partner. How You're Attractive: You make people feel confident and accepted. Your Eternal Question: "What Impression Am I Giving?"

What's" Your Power Color?

Your Personality Profile

You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive. A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.You are good natured and people enjoy your company.You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Your IQ Is 100

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Your Japanese Name Is...

Mayoko Kajuji

What's" your Japanese Name?

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howboyishorgirlishareyouquiz/">How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Should Be A Cancer

What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatsignshouldyoubequiz/">What Sign Should You Be?

// wah! i finally see the Sun! //




This week has been very hectic...
Homework n homework n harmo...
1st performance at the CCA carnival!
but i dunnoe how well/bad we played
and this CO guy mistook us for J1s and begged us to take his flyers...
wth!

And aftnn PE is terrible...
i tot i almost fainted...ok, i'm exaggerating abit..
ok now i got a phobia of climbing stairs..
not any stairs, but the stairs at BLK 11!







i tink sch life is gaining its momentum and progressing forward...
so is CCA...
concerts n SLs
A-lvls..
life is not gonna be easy...
hang in there...

TICKLE TEST RESULTS

hu/m/n, you are Left-brained

Most left-brained people like you feel at ease in situations requiring verbal ability, attention to detail, and linear, analytical ability. Whether you know it or not, you are a much stronger written communicator than many, able to get your ideas across better than others. It's also likely that you are methodical and efficient at many things that you do. You could also be good at math, particularly algebra, which is based on very strict rules that make sense to your logical mind.

wad's this? i'm left-handed n left-brained?
Possible?

//Rained all day//

haven blogged for a while...
trying to finish the heap of hol hmwk w/o success...

aha. change is constant.
we muz adapt to changes.

1st wk in sch...
nth much to say lah...

i lyk the clzroom lor..
got air-con...
and is quite clean...
conducive for learning bah, i sld say..

tchers kept making our new-yr resolutions for us...
lyk...muz talk less nonsense, be more serious...

aiya..

to mark the beginning of this muggy year...
lets put a nerdy msn.. haha

//back fr msia//

Rules of the Game:
1. Post 5 weird/random things about yourself.
2. At the end of the quiz, list the name of 5 people who you want next to do this and leave a comment you are tagged in the tagboard and tell them to read your blog.

Let the game start!!!

1. It is possible for me not to talk to the person who sat beside me for the whole year.
2. It is impossible for me to slp without my hankerchief.
3. Things/People that are scary/disgusting fill me with awe and suspense.
4. I am Xtremely tolerant. (no kidding)
5. I scare people alot of times unintentionally when they say i appear out of nowhere or walk without any sound.



i want christy, wei qi, mei ting, lynette and serene!!