//midterms //

This week: 2 down, 1 more to go.

I can wave my 40% worth of ms2008 grade goodbye.
Ok, I couldn't decide which midterm was worse, ms2005 or ms2008.
Or perhaps it was ms2002.

Anyway,
I was simply irritated to the core today during the test.
Call me sensitive or fussy
But I JUST CAN'T STAND IT
when the person sitting beside me keeps on sighing and banging his pen on the table

especially in the silence of exam time.
where every sound is amplified by at least 20 times and each bang on the table causes a vibration magnified by at least 50 times.

I don't know the person but was absolutely irritated by him.
We were supposed to sit in an alternating pattern but apparently there were not enough seats in the LT to accomodate this.
He came in late and I was sitting at the very last row so he conveniently plonked into the empty seat next to me.
Argh!
Never felt so frustrated during a test before.
Goodness knows how many times did he sigh.

I was thinking:
Bro, I know you have problems doing the questions but look, you're not the only one, Ok?
Very soon, that thought turned into frustration.
All I wanted was to throw a brick at him.
Luckily, after the test, he scot off fast.
Or else I don't know what I could have done.
Seriously.

In any case, i doubt any of my other uninterrupted midterms will be any better.
I always had this sinking feeling after every single test.
This "doomed-to-fail" feeling.
Well, I certainly hope my tutee won't have such similar feelings when PSLE starts on Fri.
The battle begins.
He, like me, is always hovering between a pass and a fail.
Talk about Who you'll meet is a mirror reflection of yourself.



Can I handle any more disappointment?

I don't want to face the world.

I wanna be alone.
Alone in the land of strangers.

//twist lick dunk//

haha.
Once i read the clarification notice put up by Oreo in 'Today', my mum and i immediately open a packet of Oreo cookies! =)

// reports, reports and more reports!//

Sort of tired doing the lab reports..

Ok, truth be told, I don't feel like doing anything.

except watching youtube videos, tv or shopping.

Hello man! it's holiday!!

and it's only for one week.

why am i stuck at home doing reports, studying and tutoring.

Mega SIGHS.

Happy times are always short-lived

.

// RECESS WEEK! //

it's already mid-term.
but i'm still wondering what is happening.
lessons are progressing at such a fast pace that
i'm lost

lectures and tutorials.
i'm stuck.

i mean, i knew an ENGINEERING course would be demanding
what i didn't know is that
i couldn't rise up to the challenge.

last sem was bad.
thus i wanted a change this sem.
but to improve things?
easier said than done.

self-motivation is losing steam.
self-comforting is hurting pride.
self-esteem is at all-time low.

i crave for more time
to study and understand
the abstract concepts
and formulae

but some other things are competing for my time.

travelling time.
it's definitely nice to return home to a comfortable place
but is it worth sacrificing 1/6 of a day travelling?

tuition.
it's great to have more allowance
and even leftover money to save every month
but is it worth spending the time?
a trade-off between money and time.

and I don't understand why we need to have tutorials for tech com module
cuz it's never productive.
just give lectures and record it
so that i can skip it and watch online recording in record time.

as for the constant disturbance in the house.
who dares defy the matriarch?
no point defending yourself or you will be accused of shifting reponsibility.
no point explaining or you will be accused of giving unreasonable excuse.
little things that makes no sense.
why argue?
my precious time will be wasted.
just admit to whatever teeny-wheeny accusation.

hence
i can't be bothered.
i'm NUMBED to the noise.

silence is simply the best solution.

//back to s'pore=back to reality//

Although I was in JB for less than a full day, it was nice to be physically away from the normal life.
This time round, it was for my cousin's wedding, which came as a surprise as he is only a few years (3-4 yrs) older than me.
In actual fact, it seems to be like a social norm in Malaysia to get married rather early, by S'pore's standards.
Anyway, due to the physical distance, my sis and I were never really close to any of our cousins, all of whom resides in Malaysia.
When we were young, perhaps, yes.
Especially during CNY when we played firecrackers with them and count our hongbao money together.
It was really enjoyable and bonded us and our cousins.
We had always look forward to CNY whereby my family will make trips to Malaysia as the bulk of our relatives stays there.
However, as time goes by, especially in the teenage years, my cousins would be visiting their friends during CNY and my sis and I would be left alone in the house to set firecrackers by ourselves.
Yes, even though the firecrackers still burnt as brilliantly, the enjoyment has already faded, leaving its remnants in our memories.
Time is what one cannot buy, no matter how much money one has.