Looking at the world with

I forgot my cbox password.
Forgot my musicbox password.
It's just amazing that I managed to remember my blogger password.

Commercialisation really kills things.
I remember not too long ago many people were blogging about their daily lives, random musings..etc.
Then came facebook, twitter.
Nowadays, the majority of the bloggers are those who earn money by blogging on sponsored items etc.
Trust social media advertising to jump on the bandwagon and bank in on the dollars.
Having to watch at least a few seconds of an advertisment which I have absolutely no interest in before I can watch the youtube video is irritating.
Not to mention many are repeated ones.
If you ever tuned in to the radio the whole day, you will get what I mean.
Same old advertising jingles playing the whole day, hoping the tunes would stay in the listener's brain long enough to induce them into thinking that the brand/item is reliable and therefore turning into consumers.

But that all had nothing got to do with me.
All I need is a space to rant.
This place is just perfect.
I might not have a place that belongs to me in the real world, but in this virtual world, this is it.
I had just revamped this place into something simpler, without all those 'cool' decorations.

There are tons of stuff I have yet to complete at work.
This is my problem... I can't get to work on them.
There are tons of things I want to do, tons of places I want to visit.
Once, I had read a line from a book which perfectly describes my situation right now.
If there are recurring themes in your life, perhaps, something is wrong.

Yes, definitely, today I complain about the "tons of things", one month later the likelihood is that I will continue to rant about the same "tons of things".
Somehow I am just fed up with myself.

What can't I get down to work and stop feeling so lethargic?
What can't I put up and plan to accomplish those things and keep to it?

This must be my biggest weakness yet.
Realisation is one thing, working to change it is another =X =X =X

One thing is for sure, life doesn't get easier once stepped out into the working world.
In fact, the workplace transforms one's rose-tinted view of the world to one that's the exact opposite.
Experiences and people you meet will simply tear away the naivity and innocence that a fresh grad could have.
It seems like wearing a mask is the best way to survive.

I forgot how many times I have told myself that I will become a better person.
Have I?
I lost track, lost count.

One thing is for sure though, I have not achieved who I want to become.
Still the same old laziness which overpowered the discipline.
Still the same old desire to escape from reality.

To give myself a pat on the shoulder though, I think I have become more logical than emotional.
But it's hard to keep it up.
When things don't go my way, the first reaction is still boiling anger.
Why the person refuse to do what he is supposed to and this is going to throw my progress off the track...in both sense, be it work or personally.

Seriously, I see no point all these competition at work.
Long term wise, whatever achievements you made today at work could be well forgotten (or replaced) years down the road.
To me, what is deemed an achievement, is personal growth...this will determine how far you can go.
Another important constant reminder: Seek excellence in personal growth, not just temporal accolades.

My task list is getting longer and longer, before completing one task, another two would appear from nowhere.
Sigh, another thing to change: work efficiency.
Deliberative is the perfect word to describe my way of working.
Taking serious care in making decisions.
I just simply cannot proceed when my mind is still in the thick mist.
Without full understanding, I cannot get things move on.
Coupled my slow brain processing speed, things are just even worse...=(

Recently, one colleague asks me, how do you keep motivated at work.
I dunno...do I even look that motivated?
Positive thinking helps... but as times go by, you will just be thinking how long it will lasts, and left wondering if positive times would ever come.