// sharing the same sentiments //
i hate physics.
physics hate me.
but the next sem I still need to study physics.
Till now I haven't known of anyone getting a worse grade than mine.
Why am I lamenting?
Perhaps I should be thankful that I did not have to re-take physics.
A big fat C for physics.
life science, materials science: B+
maths, lab, management: A-
Sem overall GPA: 3.8
all the hard work and toiling for 3 mths.
I really need to buck up!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
// the dreaded //
Ntu exam results will be out on 28 dec.
Thanks to Deb that I got to know this.
Anyway, It is very strange.
Ntu students took the exams first but Nus students got to know their results first.
Waiting for the bomb to drop on me.
The Physics bomb.
I'm hoping I won't flunk it cuz the consequences will be disastrous.
Ntu exam results will be out on 28 dec.
Thanks to Deb that I got to know this.
Anyway, It is very strange.
Ntu students took the exams first but Nus students got to know their results first.
Waiting for the bomb to drop on me.
The Physics bomb.
I'm hoping I won't flunk it cuz the consequences will be disastrous.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
// sick //
I forgot I was ill for how many days.
Sore throat turned flu turned fever.
Currently, I'm still nursing a flu and cough.
Recently, so many thoughts flooded my mind but I was simply too lazy to log in to post an entry.
Now, not that I lost the enthusiasm to blog but those thoughts became too vague in my current state of mind.
Something about time passes too quickly?
Humans are strange.
Humans like me.
When a new year comes around, people always thought that they have a lot of time to do the things they want.
However, when a year is about to end, people will think that a year has passed so quickly and there's still lots of stuff yet to be accomplished.
And I have grown old.
Imagine going to 20 years old.
2 decades.
Seems like a long time to me, hence I don't believe I've really lived through almost 20 years.
Truth be told, I still feel like a 10 year old.
Perhaps humans only start to experience life when they are of a certain age.
When people were young, they probably had not much collection of what they undergone.
And they were most likely being controlled by their parents anyway.
To me, from the very moment that you are able to decide something on your own, this is the very moment you start to experience life.
Don't know how true is this but this is my theory.
On a lighter note, my dad came back from China!
Luckily we didn't go to airport to receive him.
His flight was delayed due to technical problems.
That is really what you would expect from China Airlines.
I forgot I was ill for how many days.
Sore throat turned flu turned fever.
Currently, I'm still nursing a flu and cough.
Recently, so many thoughts flooded my mind but I was simply too lazy to log in to post an entry.
Now, not that I lost the enthusiasm to blog but those thoughts became too vague in my current state of mind.
Something about time passes too quickly?
Humans are strange.
Humans like me.
When a new year comes around, people always thought that they have a lot of time to do the things they want.
However, when a year is about to end, people will think that a year has passed so quickly and there's still lots of stuff yet to be accomplished.
And I have grown old.
Imagine going to 20 years old.
2 decades.
Seems like a long time to me, hence I don't believe I've really lived through almost 20 years.
Truth be told, I still feel like a 10 year old.
Perhaps humans only start to experience life when they are of a certain age.
When people were young, they probably had not much collection of what they undergone.
And they were most likely being controlled by their parents anyway.
To me, from the very moment that you are able to decide something on your own, this is the very moment you start to experience life.
Don't know how true is this but this is my theory.
On a lighter note, my dad came back from China!
Luckily we didn't go to airport to receive him.
His flight was delayed due to technical problems.
That is really what you would expect from China Airlines.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
// busy busy busy slack //
Yay! Today is the last day of my work!
Come to think of it, I was quite lucky at every place i worked.
As in my boss would always buy a lot of things to eat.
Take for example, this enrichment centre.
Last week, it was the principal's birthday hence I got to eat KFC.
Today, they had Christmas day celebration so I had the chance to stuff myself with pizzas, munchies, drumlets and garlic bread.
How sumptous!
For the past weeks I have been busy.
Work Tuition Audition
Last Saturday, It was on such a rare occasion that I was able to make it for 18/05 class outing.
Seriously I don't know how long I haven't seen my classmates.
Most probably since we've have gotten our A level results. lol.
Had a good time eating and chatting at Sakae Sushi.
Somehow, that day gave me a feeling that no one has changed since our JC years.
The girls, are still girls, always preferring to talk outside of academic work and delving into gossips and the latest fashion.
The guys, are still guys, always preferring to talk about army life and comparing varsities.
Anyway, that day was tiring becuz in the morning, I got out of the house at 8am for the Student Activity meeting, followed by giving tuition.
Sunday
So happy that the December Student Activity was a success!
That is my religious stuff.
I did not have the time to help out much but everyone did a great job!
Looking forward to making great strives in year 2008...
Rainy Monday
Met up with meiting and weiqi.
We went to...yea, you guessed it, Bugis St.
Shopping yea, but we were not impulsive buyers, believe me, I have seen really impulsive ones.
Supposed to go outdoors but...anyway, the weather disapproves too.
Found a nice top only when we have walked around..erm was it three rounds?
Perhaps we walked more than three rounds?
Anyway, next Monday, I'll be meeting them again.
It will be at Far East Plaza right?
Great let's see what they have there.
I was initially estatic about going for Pepper Lunch but currently I'm having a sore throat from the black pepper chicken pizza I ate in the afternoon so...
I really hope my throat will be healed by Monday!
Just got an SMS from sherlyn- Sengkang students outing tomorrow is cancelled.
Yay! Tomorrow is therefore, declared as "The Ultimate Slack Day"
My plan is to jog in the morning, followed by reading books and lots of gaming.
Now my dad is leaving with his luggage off to the airport...no, not running away from home...
He is off with his colleagues for the annual company tour, this time to China- Kunming, Yunnan, Li Jiang, Shangri-la.
Supposedly, my mum would be accompanying him but she fell ill yesterday and couldn't recover in time.
I guess, that is becuz she had the wrong Ichinen initially.
Ichinen~jap: first thought
At first, she was reluctant to go for the trip becuz she heard horror stories about how high the mountains at Li Jiang was, how low the oxygen level at Shangri-la was.
But humans always find themselves in a dilemma.
Since the trip was heavily subsidised by the company, it would be a waste if she didn't go.
Hence, my dad signed her up for the trip.
However, over the past two months, she had been changing her mind of going, lamenting that she'll feel giddy and nauseous at a place so high above the sea level.
Now that she fell sick, she is guilty that my dad would have to go alone without her.
Some humans are really strange creatures.
Yay! Today is the last day of my work!
Come to think of it, I was quite lucky at every place i worked.
As in my boss would always buy a lot of things to eat.
Take for example, this enrichment centre.
Last week, it was the principal's birthday hence I got to eat KFC.
Today, they had Christmas day celebration so I had the chance to stuff myself with pizzas, munchies, drumlets and garlic bread.
How sumptous!
For the past weeks I have been busy.
Work Tuition Audition
Last Saturday, It was on such a rare occasion that I was able to make it for 18/05 class outing.
Seriously I don't know how long I haven't seen my classmates.
Most probably since we've have gotten our A level results. lol.
Had a good time eating and chatting at Sakae Sushi.
Somehow, that day gave me a feeling that no one has changed since our JC years.
The girls, are still girls, always preferring to talk outside of academic work and delving into gossips and the latest fashion.
The guys, are still guys, always preferring to talk about army life and comparing varsities.
Anyway, that day was tiring becuz in the morning, I got out of the house at 8am for the Student Activity meeting, followed by giving tuition.
Sunday
So happy that the December Student Activity was a success!
That is my religious stuff.
I did not have the time to help out much but everyone did a great job!
Looking forward to making great strives in year 2008...
Rainy Monday
Met up with meiting and weiqi.
We went to...yea, you guessed it, Bugis St.
Shopping yea, but we were not impulsive buyers, believe me, I have seen really impulsive ones.
Supposed to go outdoors but...anyway, the weather disapproves too.
Found a nice top only when we have walked around..erm was it three rounds?
Perhaps we walked more than three rounds?
Anyway, next Monday, I'll be meeting them again.
It will be at Far East Plaza right?
Great let's see what they have there.
I was initially estatic about going for Pepper Lunch but currently I'm having a sore throat from the black pepper chicken pizza I ate in the afternoon so...
I really hope my throat will be healed by Monday!
Just got an SMS from sherlyn- Sengkang students outing tomorrow is cancelled.
Yay! Tomorrow is therefore, declared as "The Ultimate Slack Day"
My plan is to jog in the morning, followed by reading books and lots of gaming.
Now my dad is leaving with his luggage off to the airport...no, not running away from home...
He is off with his colleagues for the annual company tour, this time to China- Kunming, Yunnan, Li Jiang, Shangri-la.
Supposedly, my mum would be accompanying him but she fell ill yesterday and couldn't recover in time.
I guess, that is becuz she had the wrong Ichinen initially.
Ichinen~jap: first thought
At first, she was reluctant to go for the trip becuz she heard horror stories about how high the mountains at Li Jiang was, how low the oxygen level at Shangri-la was.
But humans always find themselves in a dilemma.
Since the trip was heavily subsidised by the company, it would be a waste if she didn't go.
Hence, my dad signed her up for the trip.
However, over the past two months, she had been changing her mind of going, lamenting that she'll feel giddy and nauseous at a place so high above the sea level.
Now that she fell sick, she is guilty that my dad would have to go alone without her.
Some humans are really strange creatures.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
//no reception//
there just isn't any reception on my mobile phone at my workplace.
i can't call or sms at all.
The past two days were totally DISASTROUS.
Today I was in-charge of 3 levels, P1, P2, P6 all in one classroom.
This was due to the fact that one teacher took half-day emergency leave and two other teachers went on an excursion with some of the kids.
The P1s were attention-seeking, the P2s were noisy and the P6 had finished their work long long ago.
Absolutely fabulous.
The kids say: Teacher likes to eat deep-fried eyeballs and drink lemon bloody.
I say: Yes, preferably, the donor is a primary 1-6 kid.
They say: Yewww!
The Truth: I can't wait to skin all of them alive!!!
FYI: Last week during science experiment, I accidentally burst a balloon and scared one of the P6s so much so that he jumped out of his chair and fell to the ground.
there just isn't any reception on my mobile phone at my workplace.
i can't call or sms at all.
The past two days were totally DISASTROUS.
Today I was in-charge of 3 levels, P1, P2, P6 all in one classroom.
This was due to the fact that one teacher took half-day emergency leave and two other teachers went on an excursion with some of the kids.
The P1s were attention-seeking, the P2s were noisy and the P6 had finished their work long long ago.
Absolutely fabulous.
The kids say: Teacher likes to eat deep-fried eyeballs and drink lemon bloody.
I say: Yes, preferably, the donor is a primary 1-6 kid.
They say: Yewww!
The Truth: I can't wait to skin all of them alive!!!
FYI: Last week during science experiment, I accidentally burst a balloon and scared one of the P6s so much so that he jumped out of his chair and fell to the ground.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
//underground//
The enrichment centre is on the basement level.
Well, as I would have expected, a horrendous yesterday.
First day with the primary school kids can be well summed-up as horrendous.
At around 5pm, I thought I would never made it home.
It was "Fun with English" with the P2s, all of whom possess an enormous source of energy.
Plus, they had good lungs and diagphrams, which enabled them to render me almost DEAF.
Thanks to their screaming and shouting, they couldn't hear me.
I mean, it was 18 of them versus me.
Needless to say, it was totally havoc until a teacher two doors away, heard their screams and came into the classroom to take a look.
Her lungs was at least ten times more powerful than theirs.
Once overpowered, the P2s became cute, innocent faces again.
I totally admire the teachers there because they have the patience, the ability to control all the children and the knowledge to teach.
My first lesson was actually at 9am in the morning and it had gone relatively well.
The P5/6 class was smart and they did not scream at all.
However, some of them were too loud for their own good.
And, I was so "lucky" that one of the boys vomit a few drops of Milo on his paper.
Argh!!
Then, when it was nap time, one of the P2 boys woke up with a patch of redness on one of his cheeks because he had been sleeping on his RED file and had drooled.
Lol.
On the first day, I returned home with a backache.
Today, in the morning I met with my P5/6 again for "Write it well"
So they completed the work super fast and played their games.
I even played Deal or No Deal with them.
And I got a good deal!
In the afternoon, it was "IQ Math" with P3s.
They were super noisy. Less shouting than the terrible P2s though.
Hence I kept them with absolute silence inside the classroom even after they have completed their work.
It means no TV time for them!
I noticed that some of the P3s were rebellious.
On the second day, I returned home with a weak voice.
Tomorrow, I'm supposed to do the Science experiment "Needle through a balloon" with
the P5/6s and I'm fearing the worst will happen.
Afternoon, there is no class assigned to me and I hope I'll get a half-day off!
It is a tiring job that drains you of all your energy. (and voice)
Nevertheless, this is definitely more fun than a 9-5 office job due to the unpredictable and spontaneous nature of this job.
BUT I have to re-iterate the point that I have no wish to become a teacher.
Too tough for me.
The enrichment centre is on the basement level.
Well, as I would have expected, a horrendous yesterday.
First day with the primary school kids can be well summed-up as horrendous.
At around 5pm, I thought I would never made it home.
It was "Fun with English" with the P2s, all of whom possess an enormous source of energy.
Plus, they had good lungs and diagphrams, which enabled them to render me almost DEAF.
Thanks to their screaming and shouting, they couldn't hear me.
I mean, it was 18 of them versus me.
Needless to say, it was totally havoc until a teacher two doors away, heard their screams and came into the classroom to take a look.
Her lungs was at least ten times more powerful than theirs.
Once overpowered, the P2s became cute, innocent faces again.
I totally admire the teachers there because they have the patience, the ability to control all the children and the knowledge to teach.
My first lesson was actually at 9am in the morning and it had gone relatively well.
The P5/6 class was smart and they did not scream at all.
However, some of them were too loud for their own good.
And, I was so "lucky" that one of the boys vomit a few drops of Milo on his paper.
Argh!!
Then, when it was nap time, one of the P2 boys woke up with a patch of redness on one of his cheeks because he had been sleeping on his RED file and had drooled.
Lol.
On the first day, I returned home with a backache.
Today, in the morning I met with my P5/6 again for "Write it well"
So they completed the work super fast and played their games.
I even played Deal or No Deal with them.
And I got a good deal!
In the afternoon, it was "IQ Math" with P3s.
They were super noisy. Less shouting than the terrible P2s though.
Hence I kept them with absolute silence inside the classroom even after they have completed their work.
It means no TV time for them!
I noticed that some of the P3s were rebellious.
On the second day, I returned home with a weak voice.
Tomorrow, I'm supposed to do the Science experiment "Needle through a balloon" with
the P5/6s and I'm fearing the worst will happen.
Afternoon, there is no class assigned to me and I hope I'll get a half-day off!
It is a tiring job that drains you of all your energy. (and voice)
Nevertheless, this is definitely more fun than a 9-5 office job due to the unpredictable and spontaneous nature of this job.
BUT I have to re-iterate the point that I have no wish to become a teacher.
Too tough for me.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
//cloudy//
Well I can never be so glad sitting down and enjoying my beef ball spagetti.
Anyway, Angeline's hot fudge cake wasn't that hot, both literally and figuratively.
But the scoop of vanilla ice-cream on top was heavenly.
Better than Swensen's ice-cream I would say.
Yea! Yesterday met with Angeline and Crystal!
Crystal also brought her sis along.
It has been a long time since I caught up with them...maybe more than nine months?
Hmm..anyway they ate lunch at the Ma La (numb and spicy) steamboat at Liang Seah Street which I wasn't too keen cuz the soup looked quite..ok very spicy...imagine, full of chili padi.
Anyway, their threshold for spicy food definitely surpasses mine.
After which, we shopped at Bugis Street which luckily did not have so much people compared to during the weekends.
After which, we shopped at Bugis Street which luckily did not have so much people compared to during the weekends.
Haha. I have to say that though there were many things to look at, shopping at this place is really tiring.
Needless to say, I'll never be the first person to walk in front cuz to me, the whole place is simply a maze. (I mean a maze and not amazed)
I can just imagine myself as a rat going round and round desperately trying to find the exit.
x'mas tree at intercontinental hotel
The Great Golden Compass outside BHG
Anyway, after running around like rats (oops, pardon the weird phrase) we walked around Bugis Junction before surrendering to The Coffee Connoiseur (not sure about the spelling).
Actually, it was me who waved the white flag first cuz my poor legs were getting fatigue after the shop-about.
Well I can never be so glad sitting down and enjoying my beef ball spagetti.
I liked the way the spagetti was cooked and the cheesy, gummy taste.
The beef balls were too beefy for me though, if you know what I meant.
I'm really not quite a carnivore.
I'm really not quite a carnivore.
Anyway, Angeline's hot fudge cake wasn't that hot, both literally and figuratively.
But the scoop of vanilla ice-cream on top was heavenly.
Better than Swensen's ice-cream I would say.
Somehow, Crystal's Oreo cheese cake looked better than how it tasted.
Haha. I don't know why suddenly I'm analysing the food we ate.
I think it should because I have nothing much to do nowadays.
Except playing Audition Sea.
Seriously I don't why I'm addicted to it.
Anyway, tomorrow is a Saturday, there is the tuition marathon as always.
3 students in a day.
Saturday always got burnt just like that.
Sunday is religion's day.
Dreading the meeting cuz I simply don't have any idea how to interest the students.
The topic of religion is mostly alien to students.
Haiz.
Then come Monday it is my first day of work at an enrichment centre for primary students.
I remembered I e-mailed my application in June this year.
But it is only now in December that they accepted me.
Think about it, I quite dread the job too.
Imagine lots of kids screaming and shouting and prancing about.
I think I will faint.
Anyway, just got to tell myself that it is to occupy time during this one month holiday.
In addition, judging by the number of days the centre will be closed this month, I won't need to go down everyday too.
Best of all, the centre is rather near my place.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
//sunny!//
Yesterday was the first day of holiday!
Finally my exams are over!!!
I mean I really dislike the feeling of having to mug all day at my desk.
Of course I take a break sometimes but the feeling of trepidation is just too overwhelming.
Plus, I experience indigestion when sitting at my desk long periods of time.
Anyway, yesterday was also the first time I went ice-skating!
And, I have concluded that ice-skating is even more nerve-wrecking than taking exams.
Haha. I'm still very slow at skating 'cause I just can't balanced myself on the edge of the thin piece of metal stuck to the sole of the shoes.
Since I was the only first-timer, it was no surprise that I was the first to fall down.
But luckily it didn't hurt.
The ironic thing was they call me "coach" because of my jacket.
Thanks to jh and eunice for helping me to balance =)
Yw and wt were also happily skating. haha.
Hj was also learning...gleefully pushing jh around.
Yb was enjoying falling down more than ever. lol
As for lq, shopping is definitely more enjoyable than this right?
After the skating we went to IMM's coffee club for dinner.
Country pie was nice and not too filling.
Good because I didn't want to overload my stomach.
Anyway, I think everyone had a good time chilling (literally?) out.
Yesterday was the first day of holiday!
Finally my exams are over!!!
I mean I really dislike the feeling of having to mug all day at my desk.
Of course I take a break sometimes but the feeling of trepidation is just too overwhelming.
Plus, I experience indigestion when sitting at my desk long periods of time.
Anyway, yesterday was also the first time I went ice-skating!
And, I have concluded that ice-skating is even more nerve-wrecking than taking exams.
Haha. I'm still very slow at skating 'cause I just can't balanced myself on the edge of the thin piece of metal stuck to the sole of the shoes.
Since I was the only first-timer, it was no surprise that I was the first to fall down.
But luckily it didn't hurt.
The ironic thing was they call me "coach" because of my jacket.
Thanks to jh and eunice for helping me to balance =)
Yw and wt were also happily skating. haha.
Hj was also learning...gleefully pushing jh around.
Yb was enjoying falling down more than ever. lol
As for lq, shopping is definitely more enjoyable than this right?
After the skating we went to IMM's coffee club for dinner.
Country pie was nice and not too filling.
Good because I didn't want to overload my stomach.
Anyway, I think everyone had a good time chilling (literally?) out.
mse gang
Power Ranger Girls
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
//sunny//
Yesss! finally I have managed to connect my laptop wirelessly to the Internet.
Yohoo~ Just can't imagine how much time and how many phone calls I made to get this done.
Step 1: Choose between a wireless router or a wireless modem router.
Step 2: Install the router. ( I had some problems with this)
Step3: Re-try installation process for a thousand times.
Step 3: Call the dealer to ask for technical assistance, but got the modem company's contact numbers instead
Step 4: Call ISP to clarify certain things
Step 5: Re-try installation for the millionth time--->Success!
Step 6: Power up laptop and detect wireless network
Yesss! finally I have managed to connect my laptop wirelessly to the Internet.
Yohoo~ Just can't imagine how much time and how many phone calls I made to get this done.
Step 1: Choose between a wireless router or a wireless modem router.
Step 2: Install the router. ( I had some problems with this)
Step3: Re-try installation process for a thousand times.
Step 3: Call the dealer to ask for technical assistance, but got the modem company's contact numbers instead
Step 4: Call ISP to clarify certain things
Step 5: Re-try installation for the millionth time--->Success!
Step 6: Power up laptop and detect wireless network
Thursday, November 01, 2007
// fake rain //
I can't control my laughter everytime I see my maths tutor doing something weird.
It seems that vimala also shares my sentiments.
It's bad! I shouldn't laugh anymore...
Everytime I see him panic, I feel like telling him to relax. haha.
I think, for teacher's day, we should buy him a set of transparency markers and pencil sharpener.
So he won't need to use thick blackboard markers on transparency sheets or use broken pencils.
Anyway, today, thanks to my mse pals, they gave me and liqing an advance birthday celebration today at Jurong Point.
Thanks for the present too...green is my favourite colour.
Hope the four leaf clover really brings me and Lq study luck.
No mood today to celebrate- I felt so full and heavy-headed after lunch.
Left around 10 mins to 2nd Nov! =)
I want peace.
I want freedom.
I want a place to hide from the exams.
I want to feel tired no more.
I want to travel no more.
Each day in school is a struggle to keep awake.
I can't control my laughter everytime I see my maths tutor doing something weird.
It seems that vimala also shares my sentiments.
It's bad! I shouldn't laugh anymore...
Everytime I see him panic, I feel like telling him to relax. haha.
I think, for teacher's day, we should buy him a set of transparency markers and pencil sharpener.
So he won't need to use thick blackboard markers on transparency sheets or use broken pencils.
Anyway, today, thanks to my mse pals, they gave me and liqing an advance birthday celebration today at Jurong Point.
Thanks for the present too...green is my favourite colour.
Hope the four leaf clover really brings me and Lq study luck.
No mood today to celebrate- I felt so full and heavy-headed after lunch.
Left around 10 mins to 2nd Nov! =)
I want peace.
I want freedom.
I want a place to hide from the exams.
I want to feel tired no more.
I want to travel no more.
Each day in school is a struggle to keep awake.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
// alternating between shine and rain //
Gosh I'm feeling super bloated right now.
Sometimes I just don't know what is happening to me.
Here am I feeling so full yet I'm craving for a snack, like those lying on the dining table.
A piece of strawberry chocolate, a banana, some raisins or a few rolled biscuits?
All seems to be equally tempting to me. (yes, even on a bloated stomach)
Perhaps it is due to my lack of discipline.
Oh my, I just went to close the window to keep off the second hand smoke (courtesy of my neighbour) when I spotted some colourful steamed kuehs on the coffee table.
Yes, my home is probably a *snackophile's haven.
Suddenly this realisation dawned upon me... that my lack of discipline IS the root of all my troubles.
Maybe I shouldn't have the belief that "people should have all the freedom to do what they want". Come to think of it, the whole world would be in chaos if this really come true!
Because of this belief, I chose blogging and surfing the internet now instead of mugging for my CAs in the upcoming week.
Because of this belief, I chose to talk back to my mum instead of heeding her advice.
Because of this belief, I chose to slack around instead of studying for the physics re-test.
Because of this belief, I thought that I shouldn't correct others even if what they did would hurt other people.
Although I do not know how other people like my family and my friends see me, I sort of get the feeling that they see me as a hardworking, serious and peace-loving type of person.
Surprisingly, I myself do not feel this way and have no qualms about telling people I'm not like what you think.
I am, in fact, a slacker trying to work hard.
Motivation... my dear friends have given me a lot...especially through this blog.
That is why I still have the strength to go on and not totally give up on myself.
What I lacked is really the intrinsic motivation that arises from within myself.
Anyway, at this point of my life, I yearn to fulfil my resolutions.
I seek to be more discipined, more self-motivated, better management of time and emotions.
And, of course, better organisation of thoughts.
In this entry, my thoughts are all scattered. I'm simply typing out what I feel and think at that very moment.
To borrow a phrase from one of Westlife's old songs, "To be a better (hu)man"
Today I was supposed to type a happy entry because my family held a (very) early birthday celebration for me.
That's why, with the dinner and cake, I was super full.
However, perhaps the guilt of being out the whole day had overwhelmed me.
I was supposed to be studying!
My slow progress: -Materials science not even touched yet,
- Physics (heat and optics) half way done
Don't even ask me anything about studying for the semestral exams.
I just want to focus on clearing this coming week's CAs first.
Anyway, I finally got my laptop!
It's a compaq model with good specifications.(intel core 2 duo T7300, 2GB ram, 160 HDD)
Came with a free printer (now I have 3 printers?!)
The harvey norman saleman threw in a webcam, PC-cilin software, optical mouse and 1 GB thumbdrive.
At $1999, I think it's quite a good deal.
Haha. I can't wait to use it!
*snackophile - a word invented by me- intuitively
Gosh I'm feeling super bloated right now.
Sometimes I just don't know what is happening to me.
Here am I feeling so full yet I'm craving for a snack, like those lying on the dining table.
A piece of strawberry chocolate, a banana, some raisins or a few rolled biscuits?
All seems to be equally tempting to me. (yes, even on a bloated stomach)
Perhaps it is due to my lack of discipline.
Oh my, I just went to close the window to keep off the second hand smoke (courtesy of my neighbour) when I spotted some colourful steamed kuehs on the coffee table.
Yes, my home is probably a *snackophile's haven.
Suddenly this realisation dawned upon me... that my lack of discipline IS the root of all my troubles.
Maybe I shouldn't have the belief that "people should have all the freedom to do what they want". Come to think of it, the whole world would be in chaos if this really come true!
Because of this belief, I chose blogging and surfing the internet now instead of mugging for my CAs in the upcoming week.
Because of this belief, I chose to talk back to my mum instead of heeding her advice.
Because of this belief, I chose to slack around instead of studying for the physics re-test.
Because of this belief, I thought that I shouldn't correct others even if what they did would hurt other people.
Although I do not know how other people like my family and my friends see me, I sort of get the feeling that they see me as a hardworking, serious and peace-loving type of person.
Surprisingly, I myself do not feel this way and have no qualms about telling people I'm not like what you think.
I am, in fact, a slacker trying to work hard.
Motivation... my dear friends have given me a lot...especially through this blog.
That is why I still have the strength to go on and not totally give up on myself.
What I lacked is really the intrinsic motivation that arises from within myself.
Anyway, at this point of my life, I yearn to fulfil my resolutions.
I seek to be more discipined, more self-motivated, better management of time and emotions.
And, of course, better organisation of thoughts.
In this entry, my thoughts are all scattered. I'm simply typing out what I feel and think at that very moment.
To borrow a phrase from one of Westlife's old songs, "To be a better (hu)man"
Today I was supposed to type a happy entry because my family held a (very) early birthday celebration for me.
That's why, with the dinner and cake, I was super full.
However, perhaps the guilt of being out the whole day had overwhelmed me.
I was supposed to be studying!
My slow progress: -Materials science not even touched yet,
- Physics (heat and optics) half way done
Don't even ask me anything about studying for the semestral exams.
I just want to focus on clearing this coming week's CAs first.
Anyway, I finally got my laptop!
It's a compaq model with good specifications.(intel core 2 duo T7300, 2GB ram, 160 HDD)
Came with a free printer (now I have 3 printers?!)
The harvey norman saleman threw in a webcam, PC-cilin software, optical mouse and 1 GB thumbdrive.
At $1999, I think it's quite a good deal.
Haha. I can't wait to use it!
*snackophile - a word invented by me- intuitively
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
// cool night //
For the physics re-test, guess how much I got?
48/100!
Pathetic right?
Seriously I wasn't surprised at all.
Just surprised that this time round, the prof replied to my friend's e-mail listing our names to request for the scores.
But then again, when I only needed 2 more marks to pass.
2 more. what a waste.
Come to think of it, it is quite strange why I should be struggling with mechanics when most of the stuff were covered in A levels.
Perhaps it's because the questions were really unfamiliar.
I think my brain must be rusty le.
Conclusion: Uni is tough! not slack.
I'm feeling the heat already.
Let that be a negative form of motivation. Pressure.
For the physics re-test, guess how much I got?
48/100!
Pathetic right?
Seriously I wasn't surprised at all.
Just surprised that this time round, the prof replied to my friend's e-mail listing our names to request for the scores.
But then again, when I only needed 2 more marks to pass.
2 more. what a waste.
Come to think of it, it is quite strange why I should be struggling with mechanics when most of the stuff were covered in A levels.
Perhaps it's because the questions were really unfamiliar.
I think my brain must be rusty le.
Conclusion: Uni is tough! not slack.
I'm feeling the heat already.
Let that be a negative form of motivation. Pressure.
Things to do:
By tomorrow: 5 Personal Learning Journals for management
By this week: Study for CA2s coming next week!
By this month: Study for semestral exams! (commencing from 14 -22nov)
Friday, October 19, 2007
//the intermittent rain//
Sometimes, this kind of rain that keeps stopping and resuming irritates me.
It seems like the rain can't make up its mind whether to rain or stop.
However, it shares the same kind of ambivalent attitude that I myself have.
According to the test I took, INFPs seems to be able to see the good side of a thing no matter how bad the situation turned out to be.
Thus INFPs may experience both positive and negative feelings towards a thing or person simultaneously.
That sounds like schizoprenic, isn't it?
haha.
Anyway, this week wasn't a good one for me.
I solemnly swear that the next time round, I will start on my formal lab report early.
That's the lesson I learnt.
While most others had the luxury of doing their lab report during the recess week, my group was quite unlucky to be the ones doing after the recess week.
Thinking that I still had all the time in the world to complete the report, I did nothing in the first week.
Then came the bomb: A re-test for physics
Argh. now I had to salvage my pathetic physics first...
In the end, I only started my 15-page report on saturday when it was due on monday.
Tough. I ended up with minimal sleep and the effect snowballed throughout the week.
Come to think of it, it is really my own doing that landed myself in this state.
Blame it on myself.
Yesterday, the life science lecture was cancelled and none of us was even informed of it beforehand.
Actually, many people already sensed something was amiss when the notes weren't uploaded onto the net.
In the end, in the evening, the prof mass e-mailed to everyone to apologise for his absence due to "unforseen circumstances" and that he'll put up last year's recorded lecture onto the net.
What is this man?!
After which, it was the dreary math lecture which I had unknowingly slept through half of it.
Argh, I didn't want to sleep through it at all!
You know how much sleep you are deprived of when the lecturer's voice becomes softer by the second and finally your ears simply shuts off. Then you have reach a state of concussion where your mind stops telling you that you are in a lecture hall.
After lessons, it was badminton with yv, wx and his friends.
I was such a lousy player.
Then, I learnt table-tennis from yv! yea. she's a school player. so pro right.
Table-tennis requires less stength to hit but it is really no easier than badminton.
On the whole, it was fun!
Finally, to end the day, I went for the mse club publications meeting.
Okay, I can't believe I'm officially inducted as a school magazine writer!
haha. It was too good to be true.
I simply replied to the recruitment e-mail they sent last week and crossed my fingers to hope for the best.
Yesterday, the editor e-mailed me that I got shortlisted.
Cool.
I hope this new school magazine would take off with a good start.
Sometimes, this kind of rain that keeps stopping and resuming irritates me.
It seems like the rain can't make up its mind whether to rain or stop.
However, it shares the same kind of ambivalent attitude that I myself have.
According to the test I took, INFPs seems to be able to see the good side of a thing no matter how bad the situation turned out to be.
Thus INFPs may experience both positive and negative feelings towards a thing or person simultaneously.
That sounds like schizoprenic, isn't it?
haha.
Anyway, this week wasn't a good one for me.
I solemnly swear that the next time round, I will start on my formal lab report early.
That's the lesson I learnt.
While most others had the luxury of doing their lab report during the recess week, my group was quite unlucky to be the ones doing after the recess week.
Thinking that I still had all the time in the world to complete the report, I did nothing in the first week.
Then came the bomb: A re-test for physics
Argh. now I had to salvage my pathetic physics first...
In the end, I only started my 15-page report on saturday when it was due on monday.
Tough. I ended up with minimal sleep and the effect snowballed throughout the week.
Come to think of it, it is really my own doing that landed myself in this state.
Blame it on myself.
Yesterday, the life science lecture was cancelled and none of us was even informed of it beforehand.
Actually, many people already sensed something was amiss when the notes weren't uploaded onto the net.
In the end, in the evening, the prof mass e-mailed to everyone to apologise for his absence due to "unforseen circumstances" and that he'll put up last year's recorded lecture onto the net.
What is this man?!
After which, it was the dreary math lecture which I had unknowingly slept through half of it.
Argh, I didn't want to sleep through it at all!
You know how much sleep you are deprived of when the lecturer's voice becomes softer by the second and finally your ears simply shuts off. Then you have reach a state of concussion where your mind stops telling you that you are in a lecture hall.
After lessons, it was badminton with yv, wx and his friends.
I was such a lousy player.
Then, I learnt table-tennis from yv! yea. she's a school player. so pro right.
Table-tennis requires less stength to hit but it is really no easier than badminton.
On the whole, it was fun!
Finally, to end the day, I went for the mse club publications meeting.
Okay, I can't believe I'm officially inducted as a school magazine writer!
haha. It was too good to be true.
I simply replied to the recruitment e-mail they sent last week and crossed my fingers to hope for the best.
Yesterday, the editor e-mailed me that I got shortlisted.
Cool.
I hope this new school magazine would take off with a good start.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
//rainy day//
Recently I had this management lecture which discusses about the myer-bridges personality test. Last time, I had done a shorter free version at haleonline.com but now the site is charging 99 cents! So I decided to check out other websites.
INFP
Introverted Feeling
INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of introverted Feeling. Being inward-turning, the natural attraction is away from world and toward essence and ideal. This introversion of dominant Feeling, receiving its data from extraverted intuition, must be the source of the quixotic nature of these usually gentle beings. Feeling is caught in the approach- avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it homo sapiens or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.
Extraverted iNtuition
Extraverted intuition faces outward, greeting the world on behalf of Feeling. What the observer usually sees is creativity with implied good will. Intuition spawns this type's philosophical bent and strengthens pattern perception. It combines as auxiliary with introverted Feeling and gives rise to unusual skill in both character development and fluency with language--a sound basis for the development of literary facility. If INTPs aspire to word mechanics, INFPs would be verbal artists.
Introverted Sensing
Sensing is introverted and often invisible. This stealth function in the third position gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent- mindedness and other-worldliness, however, Feeling's strong people awareness provides a balancing, mitigating effect. This introverted Sensing is somewhat categorical, a subdued version of SJ sensing. In the third position, however, it is easily overridden by the stronger functions.
Extraverted Thinking
The INFP may turn to inferior extraverted Thinking for help in focusing on externals and for closure. INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy. The inferior, problematic nature of Extraverted Thinking is its lack of context and proportion. Single impersonal facts may loom large or attain higher priority than more salient principles which are all but overlooked.
Famous INFPs:
William Shakespeare,
Wadsworth Longfellow
A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie)
Helen Keller, deaf and blind author
Carl Rogers, reflective psychologist,
counselorFred Rogers
Donna Reed, actor (It's a Wonderful Life)J
vocalistTom Brokaw
news anchorJames Herriot
Julia Roberts, actor (Conspiracy Theory, Pretty Woman)
Amy Tan (author of The Joy-Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife)
John F. Kennedy
Fictional INFPs:
Anne (Anne of Green Gables)
Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)
Troi (Star Trek - The Next Generation)
Wesley Crusher (Star Trek - The Next Generation)
Doctor Julian Bashir (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)
E.T.: the ExtraTerrestrial
Tommy, Rug Rats cartoons
Jung Career Indicator
YOUR TYPE
INFP
Strength of the preferences %
44, 50, 12, 22
Career Choices for Your Type
Perception -50Processing -12Implementation -22
Jung Career Indicator determines careers most suitable for your type from personality type standpoint. Based on your personality type, the following is a list of your most suitable occupations along with some educational institutions, where you can receive a relevant degree or training.
Career: Educational Institutions, Social Service, Counseling, Religious Education
Education: Art/Science, Humanities, Web Design, Musician, Literature/Writer, Archaeology, Health Care, Psychology, Psychotherapist
uh-oh, according to this, it seems like I've entered the wrong course for my personality.
Recently I had this management lecture which discusses about the myer-bridges personality test. Last time, I had done a shorter free version at haleonline.com but now the site is charging 99 cents! So I decided to check out other websites.
INFP
Introverted Feeling
INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of introverted Feeling. Being inward-turning, the natural attraction is away from world and toward essence and ideal. This introversion of dominant Feeling, receiving its data from extraverted intuition, must be the source of the quixotic nature of these usually gentle beings. Feeling is caught in the approach- avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it homo sapiens or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.
Extraverted iNtuition
Extraverted intuition faces outward, greeting the world on behalf of Feeling. What the observer usually sees is creativity with implied good will. Intuition spawns this type's philosophical bent and strengthens pattern perception. It combines as auxiliary with introverted Feeling and gives rise to unusual skill in both character development and fluency with language--a sound basis for the development of literary facility. If INTPs aspire to word mechanics, INFPs would be verbal artists.
Introverted Sensing
Sensing is introverted and often invisible. This stealth function in the third position gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent- mindedness and other-worldliness, however, Feeling's strong people awareness provides a balancing, mitigating effect. This introverted Sensing is somewhat categorical, a subdued version of SJ sensing. In the third position, however, it is easily overridden by the stronger functions.
Extraverted Thinking
The INFP may turn to inferior extraverted Thinking for help in focusing on externals and for closure. INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy. The inferior, problematic nature of Extraverted Thinking is its lack of context and proportion. Single impersonal facts may loom large or attain higher priority than more salient principles which are all but overlooked.
Famous INFPs:
William Shakespeare,
Wadsworth Longfellow
A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie)
Helen Keller, deaf and blind author
Carl Rogers, reflective psychologist,
counselorFred Rogers
Donna Reed, actor (It's a Wonderful Life)J
vocalistTom Brokaw
news anchorJames Herriot
Julia Roberts, actor (Conspiracy Theory, Pretty Woman)
Amy Tan (author of The Joy-Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife)
John F. Kennedy
Fictional INFPs:
Anne (Anne of Green Gables)
Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)
Troi (Star Trek - The Next Generation)
Wesley Crusher (Star Trek - The Next Generation)
Doctor Julian Bashir (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)
E.T.: the ExtraTerrestrial
Tommy, Rug Rats cartoons
Jung Career Indicator
YOUR TYPE
INFP
Strength of the preferences %
44, 50, 12, 22
Career Choices for Your Type
Perception -50Processing -12Implementation -22
Jung Career Indicator determines careers most suitable for your type from personality type standpoint. Based on your personality type, the following is a list of your most suitable occupations along with some educational institutions, where you can receive a relevant degree or training.
Career: Educational Institutions, Social Service, Counseling, Religious Education
Education: Art/Science, Humanities, Web Design, Musician, Literature/Writer, Archaeology, Health Care, Psychology, Psychotherapist
uh-oh, according to this, it seems like I've entered the wrong course for my personality.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
//cloudy gloom//
Just as I thought CA week was over, this week brings another 3 tests in all.
management on monday, maths today and physics tomorrow.
Ya. The physics re-test.
Weird timing: 7-9pm.
I wish I could have started everything earlier.
Like studying for physics test and formal lab report.
Becuz I've suddenly lost my motivation to do anything.
Even blogging.
My lecturer, Dr Ko, said before that if you lost the interest in doing something that was once pleasurable, it is most likely that you suffer from depression.
I think I'm mildly depressed.
The slacking bug recently invaded my life.
I mean, sure, I had to give extra tuition to my tutees due to their exams and to do a draft for management report.
But I know those are just EXCUSES.
Truth is, I've slacked.
I can only prepare for the worst tomorrow.
Haiz.
Anyway, I still don't know what I got for the nightmarish physics CA the previous time.
Since some people e-mailed the prof to ask about their marks, I thought I should ask about it too.
To know how bad I flunked it.
Maybe it was the tone of my e-mail or maybe he wasn't in a good mood.
The prof refuses to tell me my marks!!
Argh. What is this?
I emailed him yesterday 10+pm
My friend did it at around 12am.
Yet the replies were different!
The reply I got: Sorry I can't possibly check for everyone.
The reply my friend got: XX/100
You see, it's SO unfair!
My thoughts were that if I know my horrendous marks, I would have the motivation to study for the re-test.
Surely he doesn't have the right to withhold my marks from me but tell others what they got!
Argh. I'm so angry.
I absolutely hate discrimination.
Fine, I will NOT e-mail him again.
By the way, my studies is in a total mess right now.
I kept lagging.. and there's no end to it.
I simply don't have the discipline to keep away from the TV.
Plus, I don't have the mood to study.
In other words, I have low intrinsic motivation.
Low stress + low pressure + bad time management ----> low productivity----> low quality and quantity of work
I remembered Mr Chio told me in J1 that I need to find a study method that works for me.
It has been almost 3 years and I haven't found it yet.
Why??
Also, I sort of find myself travelling for 1/2 of the day.
I am tired of travelling to and fro.
Absolutely tired.
What makes it worse is that I am tired but I can't sleep properly on the bus or mrt.
Even taking afternoon naps at home is impossible.
The only time I can sleep is during lectures and at night at home.
The drone of the lecurers' voices, esp physics and life science, provides the sleep-inducing effect.
The silence of the night makes me sleep easily too.
But I should not be sleeping during lectures!
Can anyone provide me with a remedy for my problems?
That's all.
I need to force myself to study for physics now.
Haiz.
Just as I thought CA week was over, this week brings another 3 tests in all.
management on monday, maths today and physics tomorrow.
Ya. The physics re-test.
Weird timing: 7-9pm.
I wish I could have started everything earlier.
Like studying for physics test and formal lab report.
Becuz I've suddenly lost my motivation to do anything.
Even blogging.
My lecturer, Dr Ko, said before that if you lost the interest in doing something that was once pleasurable, it is most likely that you suffer from depression.
I think I'm mildly depressed.
The slacking bug recently invaded my life.
I mean, sure, I had to give extra tuition to my tutees due to their exams and to do a draft for management report.
But I know those are just EXCUSES.
Truth is, I've slacked.
I can only prepare for the worst tomorrow.
Haiz.
Anyway, I still don't know what I got for the nightmarish physics CA the previous time.
Since some people e-mailed the prof to ask about their marks, I thought I should ask about it too.
To know how bad I flunked it.
Maybe it was the tone of my e-mail or maybe he wasn't in a good mood.
The prof refuses to tell me my marks!!
Argh. What is this?
I emailed him yesterday 10+pm
My friend did it at around 12am.
Yet the replies were different!
The reply I got: Sorry I can't possibly check for everyone.
The reply my friend got: XX/100
You see, it's SO unfair!
My thoughts were that if I know my horrendous marks, I would have the motivation to study for the re-test.
Surely he doesn't have the right to withhold my marks from me but tell others what they got!
Argh. I'm so angry.
I absolutely hate discrimination.
Fine, I will NOT e-mail him again.
By the way, my studies is in a total mess right now.
I kept lagging.. and there's no end to it.
I simply don't have the discipline to keep away from the TV.
Plus, I don't have the mood to study.
In other words, I have low intrinsic motivation.
Low stress + low pressure + bad time management ----> low productivity----> low quality and quantity of work
I remembered Mr Chio told me in J1 that I need to find a study method that works for me.
It has been almost 3 years and I haven't found it yet.
Why??
Also, I sort of find myself travelling for 1/2 of the day.
I am tired of travelling to and fro.
Absolutely tired.
What makes it worse is that I am tired but I can't sleep properly on the bus or mrt.
Even taking afternoon naps at home is impossible.
The only time I can sleep is during lectures and at night at home.
The drone of the lecurers' voices, esp physics and life science, provides the sleep-inducing effect.
The silence of the night makes me sleep easily too.
But I should not be sleeping during lectures!
Can anyone provide me with a remedy for my problems?
That's all.
I need to force myself to study for physics now.
Haiz.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
//in the sweltering heat//
The weather today was hot!
I drank lots of plain water, ate an ice-cream cone, had a cup of bandung and strawberry milk tea!
Yesterday was the first day bus service 179A was in use.
It travels the same route as 179, just that it doesn't stop at any bus-stops except those at NTU itself.
I shouldn't have taken it on the first day itself cuz just like computer softwares and tech devices like MP3, the first version surely contain problems and the subsequent ones would be ok.
I guess it's SBS's strategy of not making the berth too crowded hence both 179 and 179A are currently in different waiting berths.
Anyway, I forgot the new service started on mon.
Becuz there were so many bus queues in the morning so I sort of found myself on way to the berth of 179A.
The first day saw 179A rendered useless becuz the frequency of 179 itself was even faster.
Hmm. like while I was patiently waiting for 179A, three 179 buses had gone off.
oh well.
a lesson learnt.
Returning to sch on the first day, as usual, was a blue monday.
Well, except that I got to wear lab coat for the lab lesson.
And goggles and mask. Cool!
Two major things coming up.
Formal lab report and motivation report drafts, on top of tutorials.
Oh ya, another thing, our phy lecturer thought that some people, like me, screwed up their CA1 so there's gonna be a voluntary make-up test NEXT FRI. (I haven't got back my paper but i'm totally sure the results would be horrendous)
Shocking! Not much time left to prepare.
I remember telling some people some time ago that uni life is slack.
Now I shall take back my words.
The weather today was hot!
I drank lots of plain water, ate an ice-cream cone, had a cup of bandung and strawberry milk tea!
Yesterday was the first day bus service 179A was in use.
It travels the same route as 179, just that it doesn't stop at any bus-stops except those at NTU itself.
I shouldn't have taken it on the first day itself cuz just like computer softwares and tech devices like MP3, the first version surely contain problems and the subsequent ones would be ok.
I guess it's SBS's strategy of not making the berth too crowded hence both 179 and 179A are currently in different waiting berths.
Anyway, I forgot the new service started on mon.
Becuz there were so many bus queues in the morning so I sort of found myself on way to the berth of 179A.
The first day saw 179A rendered useless becuz the frequency of 179 itself was even faster.
Hmm. like while I was patiently waiting for 179A, three 179 buses had gone off.
oh well.
a lesson learnt.
Returning to sch on the first day, as usual, was a blue monday.
Well, except that I got to wear lab coat for the lab lesson.
And goggles and mask. Cool!
Two major things coming up.
Formal lab report and motivation report drafts, on top of tutorials.
Oh ya, another thing, our phy lecturer thought that some people, like me, screwed up their CA1 so there's gonna be a voluntary make-up test NEXT FRI. (I haven't got back my paper but i'm totally sure the results would be horrendous)
Shocking! Not much time left to prepare.
I remember telling some people some time ago that uni life is slack.
Now I shall take back my words.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
//windy//
yes. something is bothering me.
at home.
occasionally.
like a minor tear in the fabric.
though minor, once a little more force is supplied,
the fabric will be extremely easy to be torn into two.
tearing like nobody else's business.
On the surface it seems like everything was perfectly alright.
Except for the occasional arguments
Truthfully, it is a crack that will never mend.
You have never trusted me to make my own decisions.
You have always compared me to people better than me.
You have never been happy with everything that I do.
You have always thought that I was cowardy.
Sometimes, you make me have doubts even about myself.
You have stolen my self-esteem, stomped on my pride and shattered my self-confidence.
yes. something is bothering me.
at home.
occasionally.
like a minor tear in the fabric.
though minor, once a little more force is supplied,
the fabric will be extremely easy to be torn into two.
tearing like nobody else's business.
On the surface it seems like everything was perfectly alright.
Except for the occasional arguments
Truthfully, it is a crack that will never mend.
You have never trusted me to make my own decisions.
You have always compared me to people better than me.
You have never been happy with everything that I do.
You have always thought that I was cowardy.
Sometimes, you make me have doubts even about myself.
You have stolen my self-esteem, stomped on my pride and shattered my self-confidence.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
//sunny//
simply adore this kind of weather today =D
Finally! I was able to wake up for my morning jog today.
What can I say? Simply rejuvinating!
To be able to exercise one's limbs.
I don't want to become a "psycho motor moron" anyway...
I met up with meiting and wei qi! yea.
Sometimes, people sigh and lament that many things can't withstand time, I'm so glad that our friendship could withstand years.
Anyway, thanks to weiqi, I realised that i'm green-yellow!
not literally but according to this book she borrowed from the library, personality types can be divided into different colours.
I did the questionaire and then read the descriptions for green people.
Points that I could remember:
-peace lover who will avoid conflicts at all times
-imaginative, sometimes even distort facts to support what we want to say (er-hem, i'm guilty!)
-motivational writers (note: "writer", not "speaker", the reason illustrated in the next point)
-leaves spoken sentences hanging halfway but expect others to understand the latter half of the sentence( ok this leaves me laughing all the way becuz it's way too true!)
-loves inspiration (everyone does also, right?)
I'm also quite the "yellow"personality.
I think, most likely becuz I make my decisions based on logic and rational thinking, rather than by intuition. "Greens" are people who trust their intuition alot.
Anyway, we went to Subway and visited shops in amk hub and central.
yes. again! I just went to the place just 2 days ago!
Hearty Italian bread with Italian BMT tastes so good!
This time round I managed to ward off all the temptations of buying anything for myself.
Afterall, I've spent a fair amount in the past two days.
Retail therapy after the stressful CAs ain't going to be cheap.
I got some stuff to coax my tutees instead.
It's got to be Children's Day soon. OCTOBER 1ST, as my tutees have kindly reminded me.
oh please, I will NOT forget Children's Day, or any other holiday, for that matter.
Even though it doesn't concern me.
Holidays just cheers people up =)
//tues//
Yesterday was another busy day as well.
Project meeting with kun wu and ming ming.
we're supposed to write the intro for our project.
so after all the discussion, there's finally some headway to it.
I finally see the struture of our report.
Finally know what the others are doing and what we'll be doing.
I think my head was quite dense during the past few meetings as the ideas the other members gave did not ring a bell nor get into my head.
However, the downside was that i had to travel all the way to ntu for the meeting! argh.
Actually there was supposed to be meeting tomorrow but the group leader did not inform anything yet. Yet.
Sorry, but I do not subscribe to last minute decisions.
So nothing heard from anyone means no meeting.
Hence I hereby declare tomorrow is mugging day!
Which comes at the right time bcuz I have not touch any stuff that I'm supposed to be studying... since last friday =X
simply adore this kind of weather today =D
Finally! I was able to wake up for my morning jog today.
What can I say? Simply rejuvinating!
To be able to exercise one's limbs.
I don't want to become a "psycho motor moron" anyway...
I met up with meiting and wei qi! yea.
Sometimes, people sigh and lament that many things can't withstand time, I'm so glad that our friendship could withstand years.
Anyway, thanks to weiqi, I realised that i'm green-yellow!
not literally but according to this book she borrowed from the library, personality types can be divided into different colours.
I did the questionaire and then read the descriptions for green people.
Points that I could remember:
-peace lover who will avoid conflicts at all times
-imaginative, sometimes even distort facts to support what we want to say (er-hem, i'm guilty!)
-motivational writers (note: "writer", not "speaker", the reason illustrated in the next point)
-leaves spoken sentences hanging halfway but expect others to understand the latter half of the sentence( ok this leaves me laughing all the way becuz it's way too true!)
-loves inspiration (everyone does also, right?)
I'm also quite the "yellow"personality.
I think, most likely becuz I make my decisions based on logic and rational thinking, rather than by intuition. "Greens" are people who trust their intuition alot.
Anyway, we went to Subway and visited shops in amk hub and central.
yes. again! I just went to the place just 2 days ago!
Hearty Italian bread with Italian BMT tastes so good!
This time round I managed to ward off all the temptations of buying anything for myself.
Afterall, I've spent a fair amount in the past two days.
Retail therapy after the stressful CAs ain't going to be cheap.
I got some stuff to coax my tutees instead.
It's got to be Children's Day soon. OCTOBER 1ST, as my tutees have kindly reminded me.
oh please, I will NOT forget Children's Day, or any other holiday, for that matter.
Even though it doesn't concern me.
Holidays just cheers people up =)
//tues//
Yesterday was another busy day as well.
Project meeting with kun wu and ming ming.
we're supposed to write the intro for our project.
so after all the discussion, there's finally some headway to it.
I finally see the struture of our report.
Finally know what the others are doing and what we'll be doing.
I think my head was quite dense during the past few meetings as the ideas the other members gave did not ring a bell nor get into my head.
However, the downside was that i had to travel all the way to ntu for the meeting! argh.
Actually there was supposed to be meeting tomorrow but the group leader did not inform anything yet. Yet.
Sorry, but I do not subscribe to last minute decisions.
So nothing heard from anyone means no meeting.
Hence I hereby declare tomorrow is mugging day!
Which comes at the right time bcuz I have not touch any stuff that I'm supposed to be studying... since last friday =X
Monday, September 24, 2007
//slack- infected with the lazy bug!//
Recently I just felt like sleeping.
Even though I did not do anything much that would take up much energy.
But 10 hours of sleep just isn't enough.
I wake up feeling sleepy all over again.
If it wasn't the fact that I'm meeting my friends, I wouldn't force myself to stay awake.
Strangely, when i forced myself to keep awake, the sleepy bug didn't bother me again.
Recently I just felt like sleeping.
Even though I did not do anything much that would take up much energy.
But 10 hours of sleep just isn't enough.
I wake up feeling sleepy all over again.
If it wasn't the fact that I'm meeting my friends, I wouldn't force myself to stay awake.
Strangely, when i forced myself to keep awake, the sleepy bug didn't bother me again.
Anyway, today I went for movies and shopping at Amk hub. More importantly, the early celebration of bel's birthday=)
me, bel, lyn
On board 86, the bus went passed aj and that feeling of nostalgia overwhelmed me.
Even more so during my return journey, when I saw Mdm Jean Lee lugging her seemingly heavy bag, wearing the same white-and-blue striped shirt and a jean skirt.
It was as if time has rewinded itself.
Although sometimes I really did not enjoy my two years there, I was still reminscing about the past.
I couldn't take my eyes of block 11, where i spent alot of time in-between lessons at the corridor looking down at the mini fountain, lost in my thoughts, until the next tutor came in.
It seemed like yesterday when I was standing at the corridor, looking at the buses passing by, hoping I could be one of the passengers, away from this place which was slowly sapping away my energy and happiness.
Anyway, back to the movie.
I had no idea why christabel chose to watch "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry".
Afterall it's rated M18, containing homosexual theme.
But then again, she did not know this beforehand.
Usually I steer clear of M18 unless...you know...there's violence and gore.
Like war movies?
Lol. I guess I'm sadist but I just want to know what causes people to kill each other.
But recently, there's nothing much to watch anyway, just some average shows...
The truth is, I was not disappointed by the movie.
In fact, it is quite inspiring!
Synopse:
Two great friends Larry and Chuck are both firemen. This is despite the fact that both live different lifestyles. Larry- an overweight middle-aged man, a doting father, who doesn't know how to cook. Chuck- a good-looking flirtatious playboy. Repeated times of saving fire has made Larry realise he may just die anytime. Larry's wife died and he found out that in order for him to change his govt fund beneficiary from his wife to his children, he has to marry a new wife or get a domestic partner (otherwise know as gay) There was once during their fire-saving task when Chuck was saved by Larry. Chuck swore to repay Larry for his favour. Thus Larry's trust in Chuck made him propose to Chuck to pretend to be his domestic partner.
The hilarious part was when govt officers came to check up on their relationship and the duo tried means and ways to convince him they are genuinely gay. (no obscene acts though)
Then they went to consult this gorgeous female lawyer whom Chuck was attracted to.
Deep as their friendship was, Chuck refused to admit his attraction to the lawyer so as to not expose the scam they were in.
In fact, Chuck babysat Larry's kids whenever the latter was on duty.
Larry's son proved to be a disappointment to Larry becuz he preferred to take part in his sch's musical than watched a baseball match. In fact, Larry's son could sing, tap-dance and even do a split! He was very much feminine, hence Larry kept forcing him to do the opposite.
Meanwhile, once their gay relationship was found out by the rest at the fire station, their colleagues all shunned them except for a ferocious-looking guy who was truly grateful that he could now face the fact that he himself, is a homosexual.
These reminded me of the fact that whatever we do, we should face ourselves truthfully and not pretend to be someone that we're not. be true. be yourself.
Also, the film highlighted that in American, there's still vocal anti-gay activists while Canada is recognising gay marriages.
Through this unusual experience of being a "gay", Chuck realises that people should not discriminate against homosexuals.
What's the difference between straight and gay?
As Chuck puts it, "Nothing, we're all humans".
Sunday, September 23, 2007
//back-2-sch friday//
When I first received my timetable, I was glad they planned a 4-day week for this semester.
Ok. Except for week 7& 13.
Hence, I realised that for these two weeks, it's actually exam week.
So fri I had life sci CA.
It's kind of weird why we need to study life sci, they only included it since 2004, I think. Anyway, I was quite stressed over it cuz I had no bio background and there was no tutorial conducted for this subject.
I don't know why I was so stressed when the CAs were approaching.
After all, two of them were MCQ questions, only physics was strutured qns.
Previously, I would not even think much of MCQ tests.
After all, you can rely on your gut feeling if you do not know the answer.
Not that my intuition is esp accurate.
Sometimes, the options can help to jot my memory, I guess.
Many a times, I tend to get mind blocks/blanks when I get intimidated by strutured/essay qns...like in physics.
I'm so scared of the results! ar! but i heard the weightage of this test will be reduced to 30%-?. Ok, I managed to clear materials sci and life sci. phew. I mean, I don't intend to aim for full marks or what. Average marks will suffice.
Perhaps I should stop this depressing thoughts about exams.
It's officially a recess week! yea!
Actually, the holidays began right after the life sci CA.
After breakfast, it was off to SRC for basketball.
omg! i have never ever ever ever played bball!
Unless u count the insignificant no. of times during PE lessons.
not jc. maybe sec and pri sch.
We actually booked badminton courts but it was too early.
Furthermore, we had no bball but on the way, my frens they saw their frens going to the SRC as well so we sort of divided ourselves and play with them.
To add on to my humiliation, did I mention I was once called "psycho-motor moron"
To be exact, my sec 4 class girls were called that by my PE teacher.
I recently saw this term some where again. forgot where.
But it means that we are like "trees".
inflexible and slow.
ah whatever.
Yiwen was so enthu about it, I had no choice but to join in too.
Imagine...a noob at bball playing with a sporty girl and a group of pro guys that I dunno.
I guess those reading will feel sad for me.
But, I was quite impressed with some of the shots they put in.
Ok, tyco, I managed to shoot in a few goals as well (erm..is "goal" a correct term? I do read about soccer but know nuts about bball)
that is provided no one blocked me or snatch the ball at that point in time.
I didn't have the "feel" for bball la. seriously.
Among the guys, it was quite rough lo. i mean, in my opinion only.
One got scratched by another's fingernail, leaving a long, red, painful line along his arm.
Yw got a nasty blister on her feet. with blood too. ouch!
Anyway, I was glad when the game ended.
Thankfully.
I'll rather stick to jogging and badminton.
Badminton was on the list next. Waited for the rackets and wx's expensive yonex shuttlecock.
My hand was quite sore from the dribbling practice and shooting so I had no stength and conc. at all.
Couldn't even return easy serves! so yb and wx gave me some advice.
Rested for a while...I watched eunice, li qing, wei xiang and yuan bin played...while chatting with yiwen.
Then, eunice and lq wanted to go home, bathe and then shop at jurong.
The rest of us played a while then hui jun came after her jap class.
Time passed quickly...and we bathe at the nice SRC bathrooms.
Feeling extremely famished, we packed dinner at watch tv at the corridor of hall 1.
Finally! we- me, yw, hj, eunice, wx, lq went to yunnan garden for the mooncake festival celebrations! It was organised by the Chinese society.
There were games like catching fish (real guppies!), caricature drawings, fortune-telling, word games.
But I think their motive was to make money.
So many stalls selling food, drinks and stuff but we did not succumbed to temptation.
Just got the free lanterns, watch peformances, then went on a burning spree!
No. we did not manage to burn ntu la. Haha.
Just paper lanterns, sticks and dried leaves.
We set up a mini-mini campfire with the help of candles placed on the side of pavement and used the burnt sticks to scribble on the ground.
Then, a funny thing happened.
Everyone was staring at this girl who was staring at us first.
Actually she was smiling.
She went near our circle then stepped back, shaking her head when we threw her puzzling looks. Initially I thought one of my frens knew her but they were equally stunned by her.
Our thoughts were the same: Is she trying to tell us not to burn things and be eco-friendly?
We froze, waiting for her to say something.
Finally, in the midst of the tension, she opened her mouth, "Are you all doing fortune-telling?"
We shook our heads and I was desperately trying to suppress my laughter.
We all cracked up soon after she was gone with her group of friends.
Did we (forming a circle around the mini-mini campfire and lighted candle) looked like we are telling fortunes?
lol. she must be a foreigner who have never seen kids burning twigs and leaves on mid-autumn festival.
Then, we went back.
They were waiting for hj from her jc outing, yb fr dance lesson, jh fr modelling shots to have their sleepover. I did not stay cuz the next day i had to teach tuition at 11am.
On the way home, I was quite surprised that bus 179 is still full of ntu students even at such a late hour.
I'm looking forward to the break! Outings, project meetings and MOST importantly, to catch on my work. esp PHYSICS. argh!
When I first received my timetable, I was glad they planned a 4-day week for this semester.
Ok. Except for week 7& 13.
Hence, I realised that for these two weeks, it's actually exam week.
So fri I had life sci CA.
It's kind of weird why we need to study life sci, they only included it since 2004, I think. Anyway, I was quite stressed over it cuz I had no bio background and there was no tutorial conducted for this subject.
I don't know why I was so stressed when the CAs were approaching.
After all, two of them were MCQ questions, only physics was strutured qns.
Previously, I would not even think much of MCQ tests.
After all, you can rely on your gut feeling if you do not know the answer.
Not that my intuition is esp accurate.
Sometimes, the options can help to jot my memory, I guess.
Many a times, I tend to get mind blocks/blanks when I get intimidated by strutured/essay qns...like in physics.
I'm so scared of the results! ar! but i heard the weightage of this test will be reduced to 30%-?. Ok, I managed to clear materials sci and life sci. phew. I mean, I don't intend to aim for full marks or what. Average marks will suffice.
Perhaps I should stop this depressing thoughts about exams.
It's officially a recess week! yea!
Actually, the holidays began right after the life sci CA.
After breakfast, it was off to SRC for basketball.
omg! i have never ever ever ever played bball!
Unless u count the insignificant no. of times during PE lessons.
not jc. maybe sec and pri sch.
We actually booked badminton courts but it was too early.
Furthermore, we had no bball but on the way, my frens they saw their frens going to the SRC as well so we sort of divided ourselves and play with them.
To add on to my humiliation, did I mention I was once called "psycho-motor moron"
To be exact, my sec 4 class girls were called that by my PE teacher.
I recently saw this term some where again. forgot where.
But it means that we are like "trees".
inflexible and slow.
ah whatever.
Yiwen was so enthu about it, I had no choice but to join in too.
Imagine...a noob at bball playing with a sporty girl and a group of pro guys that I dunno.
I guess those reading will feel sad for me.
But, I was quite impressed with some of the shots they put in.
Ok, tyco, I managed to shoot in a few goals as well (erm..is "goal" a correct term? I do read about soccer but know nuts about bball)
that is provided no one blocked me or snatch the ball at that point in time.
I didn't have the "feel" for bball la. seriously.
Among the guys, it was quite rough lo. i mean, in my opinion only.
One got scratched by another's fingernail, leaving a long, red, painful line along his arm.
Yw got a nasty blister on her feet. with blood too. ouch!
Anyway, I was glad when the game ended.
Thankfully.
I'll rather stick to jogging and badminton.
Badminton was on the list next. Waited for the rackets and wx's expensive yonex shuttlecock.
My hand was quite sore from the dribbling practice and shooting so I had no stength and conc. at all.
Couldn't even return easy serves! so yb and wx gave me some advice.
Rested for a while...I watched eunice, li qing, wei xiang and yuan bin played...while chatting with yiwen.
Then, eunice and lq wanted to go home, bathe and then shop at jurong.
The rest of us played a while then hui jun came after her jap class.
Time passed quickly...and we bathe at the nice SRC bathrooms.
Feeling extremely famished, we packed dinner at watch tv at the corridor of hall 1.
Finally! we- me, yw, hj, eunice, wx, lq went to yunnan garden for the mooncake festival celebrations! It was organised by the Chinese society.
There were games like catching fish (real guppies!), caricature drawings, fortune-telling, word games.
But I think their motive was to make money.
So many stalls selling food, drinks and stuff but we did not succumbed to temptation.
Just got the free lanterns, watch peformances, then went on a burning spree!
No. we did not manage to burn ntu la. Haha.
Just paper lanterns, sticks and dried leaves.
We set up a mini-mini campfire with the help of candles placed on the side of pavement and used the burnt sticks to scribble on the ground.
Then, a funny thing happened.
Everyone was staring at this girl who was staring at us first.
Actually she was smiling.
She went near our circle then stepped back, shaking her head when we threw her puzzling looks. Initially I thought one of my frens knew her but they were equally stunned by her.
Our thoughts were the same: Is she trying to tell us not to burn things and be eco-friendly?
We froze, waiting for her to say something.
Finally, in the midst of the tension, she opened her mouth, "Are you all doing fortune-telling?"
We shook our heads and I was desperately trying to suppress my laughter.
We all cracked up soon after she was gone with her group of friends.
Did we (forming a circle around the mini-mini campfire and lighted candle) looked like we are telling fortunes?
lol. she must be a foreigner who have never seen kids burning twigs and leaves on mid-autumn festival.
Then, we went back.
They were waiting for hj from her jc outing, yb fr dance lesson, jh fr modelling shots to have their sleepover. I did not stay cuz the next day i had to teach tuition at 11am.
On the way home, I was quite surprised that bus 179 is still full of ntu students even at such a late hour.
I'm looking forward to the break! Outings, project meetings and MOST importantly, to catch on my work. esp PHYSICS. argh!
Monday, September 17, 2007
//drowning in the sea of knowledge//
This week is CA week. Horrendous week.
I could have predicted it though it's only monday.
Oh man. I was utterly demoralised after Physics today.
Not that the questions are particularly difficult.
Just that i'm too lousy.
should have revised before sch reopens.
Then i wouldn't have been lamenting about the lecturer's monstrous pace.
Then i wouldn't have lag.
This time round, it's confirm fail.
i mean, failed.
Then again, I would be surprised if i had gotten any mark at all.
30% of total burnt!
burn away my brain too.
Tomorrow: Materials Sci - hope for a pass
Friday: Life Science - completely disillusioned
This week is CA week. Horrendous week.
I could have predicted it though it's only monday.
Oh man. I was utterly demoralised after Physics today.
Not that the questions are particularly difficult.
Just that i'm too lousy.
should have revised before sch reopens.
Then i wouldn't have been lamenting about the lecturer's monstrous pace.
Then i wouldn't have lag.
This time round, it's confirm fail.
i mean, failed.
Then again, I would be surprised if i had gotten any mark at all.
30% of total burnt!
burn away my brain too.
Tomorrow: Materials Sci - hope for a pass
Friday: Life Science - completely disillusioned
Thursday, September 13, 2007
//Earthquake//
Yesterday was the first time I experience tremors.
I was leaning against the wall and eating my dinner when suddenly I felt my head spinning.
I thought I was too tired. Then, I realised actually it was the wall moving.
Haha. A lot of people went down to the grass patch below my block.
Surprisingly, the construction of the new "Minds" school near my home went uninterrupted.
I admire their professionalism!
When the wall was rocking, I never felt so vulnerable before.
Should the block tumble, all of us will perish.
No wonder my late grandfather once said that LKY is smart.
You see, even though Singapore has so much reclaimed land and has built so many flats, nothing threatening ever happen even when neighbouring countries experience earthquake.
Man, I feel so fortunate.
Yesterday was the first time I experience tremors.
I was leaning against the wall and eating my dinner when suddenly I felt my head spinning.
I thought I was too tired. Then, I realised actually it was the wall moving.
Haha. A lot of people went down to the grass patch below my block.
Surprisingly, the construction of the new "Minds" school near my home went uninterrupted.
I admire their professionalism!
When the wall was rocking, I never felt so vulnerable before.
Should the block tumble, all of us will perish.
No wonder my late grandfather once said that LKY is smart.
You see, even though Singapore has so much reclaimed land and has built so many flats, nothing threatening ever happen even when neighbouring countries experience earthquake.
Man, I feel so fortunate.
//Ratatouille- "Anyone can cook! "//
A hilarious film! Depicts an unusual relationship between human and rat. The next time I see a rat, I 'll probably be kinder.
I especially like Skinner's grumpy LOOK.
Yesterday was outing day! Went to PS and the Cathay to celebrate the two "kids" birthday =D
Surprise surprise! Bluff them to wear blue and in the end the rest of us turned up in black! A conspiracy =P
yum! gelare ice-cream cake!
xiao jun and xiao bai. the 2 birthday kids. 2 comical characters =P
everyone says cheese!
Monday, September 10, 2007
//bolted out of the house @640am//
//returned @ 855pm//
It's a LONG, BLUE monday every week
SO far, I've fulfil my resolution of NOT succumbing to sleep during lectures.
So far so good. But it looks like a lot of people are sleeping in lectures! lol
Physics is still difficult to understand, though it is better now.
What to do? with such lecturer and tutor. everyone is complaining too.
His famous quote
Not a threat, it's the reality...
Barely an hour after Dr Ko's lecture on stress management...
Me: you live in yck ar? that's quite far...why never stay in hall?
Esther: oh i dread coming to sch...don't you think so? imagine...if I live in sch, I'll have the tendency to skip all the lectures and lock myself up in the room. displaying social withdrawal symptoms... and become depressed.
Me: ok, next, you'll become sucidal.
Esther: I'll probably climb to the highest level of ntu and jump.
Me: actually the highest level in ntu is level 1. but there is a possiblity of successful attempt cuz the basement levels are actually open to the air and not underground.
Esther: At least if i get to go home everyday, there's something to look forward to.
Me: ya. when we are going home, stress levels probably are low. then, the next day. on the way to sch, our stress level just skyrocket.
FACT: Women are more prone to depression and suicidal thoughts, but men are more successful in sucidal attempts because they uses more violent methods of committing suicide.
ok that pretty much sums up what we have learnt in the lecture.
//returned @ 855pm//
It's a LONG, BLUE monday every week
SO far, I've fulfil my resolution of NOT succumbing to sleep during lectures.
So far so good. But it looks like a lot of people are sleeping in lectures! lol
Physics is still difficult to understand, though it is better now.
What to do? with such lecturer and tutor. everyone is complaining too.
His famous quote
The lecture notes are only for your visual consumption, if you only study
that, you will fail!
Not a threat, it's the reality...
Barely an hour after Dr Ko's lecture on stress management...
Me: you live in yck ar? that's quite far...why never stay in hall?
Esther: oh i dread coming to sch...don't you think so? imagine...if I live in sch, I'll have the tendency to skip all the lectures and lock myself up in the room. displaying social withdrawal symptoms... and become depressed.
Me: ok, next, you'll become sucidal.
Esther: I'll probably climb to the highest level of ntu and jump.
Me: actually the highest level in ntu is level 1. but there is a possiblity of successful attempt cuz the basement levels are actually open to the air and not underground.
Esther: At least if i get to go home everyday, there's something to look forward to.
Me: ya. when we are going home, stress levels probably are low. then, the next day. on the way to sch, our stress level just skyrocket.
FACT: Women are more prone to depression and suicidal thoughts, but men are more successful in sucidal attempts because they uses more violent methods of committing suicide.
ok that pretty much sums up what we have learnt in the lecture.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
//scorching hot //
Can't believe it. Time passed so quickly and gulp...the CAs are coming!
Busy, busy, busy.
Busy with tuition, busy with celebrating birthdays, busy with religion.
There just isn't enough time for studying!
月牙灣- FIR
当晚天空的沙砾
带着我们的记忆
我从半路看回去
这秦关漫漫好弯曲
梦想穿过了西域
包含了多少的巉峄
爱情像一本游记
我会找寻它的谜语
看月牙湾下的泪光
在丝路之上被遗忘
是谁的心哪
孤单地留下
他还好吗
我多想爱他
那永恒的泪
凝固那一句话
也许可能蒸发
是谁的爱啊
比泪水坚强
轻声呼唤
就让我融化
每一滴雨水
演化成我翅膀
向着我爱的人追吧
Can't believe it. Time passed so quickly and gulp...the CAs are coming!
Busy, busy, busy.
Busy with tuition, busy with celebrating birthdays, busy with religion.
There just isn't enough time for studying!
月牙灣- FIR
当晚天空的沙砾
带着我们的记忆
我从半路看回去
这秦关漫漫好弯曲
梦想穿过了西域
包含了多少的巉峄
爱情像一本游记
我会找寻它的谜语
看月牙湾下的泪光
在丝路之上被遗忘
是谁的心哪
孤单地留下
他还好吗
我多想爱他
那永恒的泪
凝固那一句话
也许可能蒸发
是谁的爱啊
比泪水坚强
轻声呼唤
就让我融化
每一滴雨水
演化成我翅膀
向着我爱的人追吧
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
//who are you? really...//
Be True Be Yourself
Sometimes, I wonder who am I. And why i'm not someone else. How would it feel if I'm someone else?
Perhaps all of us start from nothing at all. Then our actions determine our own paths. Or is it that everything was already arranged for us? Where we go...who we meet. Most of the time I believe that our actions determine our paths...this contradicts "be yourself". After all, who we are is determined by our values, experience and environment.
Haha. Maybe there's no point pondering on this. Since I have supposedly more important things to do.
Since school started, I think it's time to make some resolutions.
1. Try not to sleep during lectures (Stay Alert!)
2. Try to do all tutorials beforehand (Work Hard!)
3. Blog more often (Relax!)
4. Plan and manage time carefully
5. Jog more often
Monday, September 03, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
| You Are a Realist |
 You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass. You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is... But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on. You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope. |
// after a month //
Time passes quickly...it has been 4 weeks since sch started.
Today was quite evenful.
Firstly, I left my hp at the library in the morning but didn't know it until like 4 pm when I was supposed to meet my management project members.
Surprisingly, when I realised that my hp wasn't in my bag as I had thought, I remained quite calm.
Usually when something so important gets missing, I'll panicked...my brain turns cold and go haywire, imagining all the worst-case scenarios.
Always, my first instinct is to turn to my mum for help.
But today, I don't know how it happened but i actually knew how to react.
Of course, to call my phone.
I'm EXtremely grateful to the kind-hearted soul who returned me my phone.
Though I had to rush to City Hall to meet him after the meeting.
By the way, I didn't even know that I lost it in the library.
It was the person who told me.
Argh! since when had I become so muddle-headed?
Anyway, a million thanks to the person.
Can't imagine how grateful I was.
On the MRT all the way from Boon lay to City Hall, suddenly I kept noticing people using their phones.
And I counldn't help feeling lost without mine.
It just goes to how deep technology has penetrated in our lives.
After I went to City Hall to get my hp, I saw wq's msg saying there's a comex fair at suntec.
Since I'm already in that area, might as well take a look lo.
Maybe it was the first day, so the place wasn't very packed...luckily!
Hmm..but I still can't make up my mind if I should get a notebook.
By the way, I wanted to read my Maths notes on the way to school but met wq instead!
haha so lucky! =D haha come ntu la.
the mrt trip seems much shorter when you are chatting!
And, the "high" people in the same course as me was so funny! we actually climbed to the top of the "golf course" aka art&media design library.
I couldn't believe how cool the place was.
An aesthetically pleasing facade with a laid-back ambience.
yea that is it!
I think Lib2 and Lee Wee Nam library are built for serious mugging while the arts library is for enjoyment and slacking. man. to make the place even better, they could even open a cafe!
Anyway, back to the meeting, attendance was 4/10.
Luckily I wasn't the leader or i'll stress.
Our leader is quite good at planning and organising! hmm. not bad!
We used the "open number" method to choose her de. haha.
She designed different roles for us to choose and guess what?
I chose to be one of the editors! haha.
By the way, the result that we have to produce is a written report.
Nothing much was discussed la...
Time passes quickly...it has been 4 weeks since sch started.
Today was quite evenful.
Firstly, I left my hp at the library in the morning but didn't know it until like 4 pm when I was supposed to meet my management project members.
Surprisingly, when I realised that my hp wasn't in my bag as I had thought, I remained quite calm.
Usually when something so important gets missing, I'll panicked...my brain turns cold and go haywire, imagining all the worst-case scenarios.
Always, my first instinct is to turn to my mum for help.
But today, I don't know how it happened but i actually knew how to react.
Of course, to call my phone.
I'm EXtremely grateful to the kind-hearted soul who returned me my phone.
Though I had to rush to City Hall to meet him after the meeting.
By the way, I didn't even know that I lost it in the library.
It was the person who told me.
Argh! since when had I become so muddle-headed?
Anyway, a million thanks to the person.
Can't imagine how grateful I was.
On the MRT all the way from Boon lay to City Hall, suddenly I kept noticing people using their phones.
And I counldn't help feeling lost without mine.
It just goes to how deep technology has penetrated in our lives.
After I went to City Hall to get my hp, I saw wq's msg saying there's a comex fair at suntec.
Since I'm already in that area, might as well take a look lo.
Maybe it was the first day, so the place wasn't very packed...luckily!
Hmm..but I still can't make up my mind if I should get a notebook.
By the way, I wanted to read my Maths notes on the way to school but met wq instead!
haha so lucky! =D haha come ntu la.
the mrt trip seems much shorter when you are chatting!
And, the "high" people in the same course as me was so funny! we actually climbed to the top of the "golf course" aka art&media design library.
I couldn't believe how cool the place was.
An aesthetically pleasing facade with a laid-back ambience.
yea that is it!
I think Lib2 and Lee Wee Nam library are built for serious mugging while the arts library is for enjoyment and slacking. man. to make the place even better, they could even open a cafe!
Anyway, back to the meeting, attendance was 4/10.
Luckily I wasn't the leader or i'll stress.
Our leader is quite good at planning and organising! hmm. not bad!
We used the "open number" method to choose her de. haha.
She designed different roles for us to choose and guess what?
I chose to be one of the editors! haha.
By the way, the result that we have to produce is a written report.
Nothing much was discussed la...
Sunday, August 19, 2007
//Life at NTU//
Finally my com is back!
Just the right time... when there are so many administrative and academic stuff to settle!
All those things are so confusing so I've decided to just keep whatever timetable they assigned me for this semester. Whether you can change your timetable, your subjects, or take extra electives really depends on how fast your fingers are, as everything is done online. However, since they opened the system to seniors first, freshmen are at a disadvantage. Which means to say we only have leftover vacancies to choose from.
A lot of things you gotta figure it yourself...erm since I didn't have a very analytical brain, I ended up in the wrong laboratory for my lab lesson.
Ok..so in the end I was late by 15 mins by the time I figured out that the laboratory I was supposed to go was at the other end of the school. (yes, weiqi, that's when you saw me looking flustered)
The campus map I had wasn't useful at all because I was bad at directions. Lol.
A strange thing about NTU is how they name their levels.
The highest level you can find in NTU is level 1. Before I got to know this, I was super shocked to know that my laboratory was at basement 6. And I also got to experience their lifts as two lifts on the same block may not get you to the same floor. For instance, I was already inside the lift when I realized the lift only travel between L1 and B3.
The first lab lesson I had was ok except for the fact that the class was so quiet.
Actually, when I first stepped into the lab, the whole place was dark with only 2 OHP lights shining. Then I realized that there was 2 lab groups in the lab. Everything had began without me as I was the last to enter. The lesson was alright except for the fact that the prof seems to be scared that I will accidentally cause a short circuit or even an explosion- do I look the type? Since the experiment was on diffraction grating, each time I tried to on a light source, the prof will go "eh eh….wait wait…what are you doing?"
Then after the experiment I watched a safety video which said that you have to consult the prof before switching on anything in the lab. Oh. How stringent.
For the second week we had the ECA carnival and IT fair. I couldn't believe it that they held the ECA carnival on the two narrow side walkways. Everyone was squashed together. Anyway, it was at the "throw your aeroplane" library booth that I won a thumbdrive! It is only 256mb but I was lucky, nonetheless. The atmosphere didn"t tempted me to join any ECA nor buy any laptop at all. All I saw was half-hearted attempts in introducing their ECA. The laptop fair only had a limited range of laptops priced above $2k which is not within my budget.
Although I'm still studying Maths, Physics…etc, one main difference from JCs is that there are more lectures than tutorials. For life science, I totally had no idea what is it about as the lecturer kept going on and on about Charles Darwin and revolution theories.
For a supposedly-familiar subject like maths, the tutorial questions were quite unexpected so it seems that the lecture notes were too brief and there's a lot to read up on. It doesn't help that I travel 2 hours to school and 2 hours back home everyday. Which brings me to another fact that the queue for bus 179 from boon lay mrt to ntu every morning is utterly horrendous.
So I was so happy last thursday when I finally arrive early to school, breaking my record of being late for more than a week.
Finally my com is back!
Just the right time... when there are so many administrative and academic stuff to settle!
All those things are so confusing so I've decided to just keep whatever timetable they assigned me for this semester. Whether you can change your timetable, your subjects, or take extra electives really depends on how fast your fingers are, as everything is done online. However, since they opened the system to seniors first, freshmen are at a disadvantage. Which means to say we only have leftover vacancies to choose from.
A lot of things you gotta figure it yourself...erm since I didn't have a very analytical brain, I ended up in the wrong laboratory for my lab lesson.
Ok..so in the end I was late by 15 mins by the time I figured out that the laboratory I was supposed to go was at the other end of the school. (yes, weiqi, that's when you saw me looking flustered)
The campus map I had wasn't useful at all because I was bad at directions. Lol.
A strange thing about NTU is how they name their levels.
The highest level you can find in NTU is level 1. Before I got to know this, I was super shocked to know that my laboratory was at basement 6. And I also got to experience their lifts as two lifts on the same block may not get you to the same floor. For instance, I was already inside the lift when I realized the lift only travel between L1 and B3.
The first lab lesson I had was ok except for the fact that the class was so quiet.
Actually, when I first stepped into the lab, the whole place was dark with only 2 OHP lights shining. Then I realized that there was 2 lab groups in the lab. Everything had began without me as I was the last to enter. The lesson was alright except for the fact that the prof seems to be scared that I will accidentally cause a short circuit or even an explosion- do I look the type? Since the experiment was on diffraction grating, each time I tried to on a light source, the prof will go "eh eh….wait wait…what are you doing?"
Then after the experiment I watched a safety video which said that you have to consult the prof before switching on anything in the lab. Oh. How stringent.
For the second week we had the ECA carnival and IT fair. I couldn't believe it that they held the ECA carnival on the two narrow side walkways. Everyone was squashed together. Anyway, it was at the "throw your aeroplane" library booth that I won a thumbdrive! It is only 256mb but I was lucky, nonetheless. The atmosphere didn"t tempted me to join any ECA nor buy any laptop at all. All I saw was half-hearted attempts in introducing their ECA. The laptop fair only had a limited range of laptops priced above $2k which is not within my budget.
Although I'm still studying Maths, Physics…etc, one main difference from JCs is that there are more lectures than tutorials. For life science, I totally had no idea what is it about as the lecturer kept going on and on about Charles Darwin and revolution theories.
For a supposedly-familiar subject like maths, the tutorial questions were quite unexpected so it seems that the lecture notes were too brief and there's a lot to read up on. It doesn't help that I travel 2 hours to school and 2 hours back home everyday. Which brings me to another fact that the queue for bus 179 from boon lay mrt to ntu every morning is utterly horrendous.
So I was so happy last thursday when I finally arrive early to school, breaking my record of being late for more than a week.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
// Do we have a choice? //
As one walks around the shopping malls in Singapore, one realizes that choices are stifling. Just like the nondescript HDB flats that fills up this island-nation, shopping malls are literally popping up everywhere, so much so that accompanying each MRT station, almost instinctively, one can smell a shopping mall.
This is definitely not exaggerating as bakeries such as “BreadTalk”, “Prima Deli”, “Four leaves” or “Delifrance” are always situated near the entrance of the mall. Delve further in, and without even opening one’s eyes, any self-respecting Singaporean can rant out to you which will be the shops inside: Giordano, Bossini, Bata, Watson’s, Metro, John Little, Kiddy Palace, Popular, Mini Toons, Kopitiam, Courts, Best Denki, Comics connection, TS, Sembawang, M1, Singtel, Mac, KFC, Pizza Hut, Timezone, Ya Kun, Mos, Yoshinoya…etc.
Want high-end stuff? Orchard Road is the best answer.
Want a different shopping experience? Try Bugis St, Holland V, Chinatown or even Little India.
Unlike other countries that offer much more entertainment choices, it is truly pathetic to see hordes of Singaporeans spending their precious weekends at those ubiquitous shopping malls.
If Singaporeans like we can’t even tell the difference between your East Point from West Mall, your Causeway Point from Compass Point, or even VivoCity from Marina Square, how can anyone claim that Singapore is a shopping paradise?
Truthfully, Singapore has the potential to be one. But, surely, something has to be done.
As one walks around the shopping malls in Singapore, one realizes that choices are stifling. Just like the nondescript HDB flats that fills up this island-nation, shopping malls are literally popping up everywhere, so much so that accompanying each MRT station, almost instinctively, one can smell a shopping mall.
This is definitely not exaggerating as bakeries such as “BreadTalk”, “Prima Deli”, “Four leaves” or “Delifrance” are always situated near the entrance of the mall. Delve further in, and without even opening one’s eyes, any self-respecting Singaporean can rant out to you which will be the shops inside: Giordano, Bossini, Bata, Watson’s, Metro, John Little, Kiddy Palace, Popular, Mini Toons, Kopitiam, Courts, Best Denki, Comics connection, TS, Sembawang, M1, Singtel, Mac, KFC, Pizza Hut, Timezone, Ya Kun, Mos, Yoshinoya…etc.
Want high-end stuff? Orchard Road is the best answer.
Want a different shopping experience? Try Bugis St, Holland V, Chinatown or even Little India.
Unlike other countries that offer much more entertainment choices, it is truly pathetic to see hordes of Singaporeans spending their precious weekends at those ubiquitous shopping malls.
If Singaporeans like we can’t even tell the difference between your East Point from West Mall, your Causeway Point from Compass Point, or even VivoCity from Marina Square, how can anyone claim that Singapore is a shopping paradise?
Truthfully, Singapore has the potential to be one. But, surely, something has to be done.
Monday, July 16, 2007
// A consumer-centered world //
Recent events made me realise that the world is REALLY becoming more consumer-centered. Contrary to popular belief “Consumer is King”, more and more consumers are falling into the trap of the commercial world. Is it because consumers are make out to be easy preys?
Going by the rising complaints received by CASE, I believe it to be so. There are in fact many other unreported cases, which I think, are unreported due to the fear of “losing face” or simply because many people have accepted this as a way of life.
Sometimes, I seriously think that people in the same industry has impeccable camaraderie, despite the fact that the job they do may be vastly different. That is how two or more companies can work together hand-in-hand to squeeze money out of consumers.
To beat the GST hike, a month ago, my parents decided to buy a new refrigerator. Most of the time, I just roll my eyes when the sales people address all males buyer-to-be as “boss” in Chinese and all females buyer-to-be as “miss” in Chinese.
No offense to the salespeople, after all they are simply doing their job to promote the stuff and most of them do not even have a good idea of how reliable the stuff is. So you can’t blame them when your newly-bought appliance spoils.
Well, it just so happened that ice formed in our new refrigerator…in the wrong place.
Ice miraculously formed in the bottom tier of our three-tiered giant, resulting the need for vegetables to be thawed before cooking.
Luckily, the warranty was still available so a maintenance man was called in.
Now, the middle-aged male owners are known as “uncles” while middle-aged females are known as “aunties”. If you run out of luck and encounter an inexperienced person, just brace yourself for the worst. Most likely, he will check your appliance and maintains that nothing is wrong with it. It is no big deal having ice forming on your veggies…plus, many people trust the brand, says the repairman.
I still remember, some time ago, there was this “Go the Extra Mile for Service”.
Oh please. Most people do not even budge an inch, let alone a mile!
Rather than focusing on better service, I think honesty will do.
How many consumers have fallen into the trap of “failing to read the miniscule printed words hidden at the extreme bottom of advertisements” and hence needing to pay than what the ad was supposed to offer?
How many letters proclaiming, “You have won a prize”, were received by people who have never purchased anything from the sender?
How many times have consumers been “coerced” by retailers to buy extra accessories for their gadgets that were supposedly to have “__% discount”?
The truth is, consumers have been exploited unknowingly by retailers.
Recent events made me realise that the world is REALLY becoming more consumer-centered. Contrary to popular belief “Consumer is King”, more and more consumers are falling into the trap of the commercial world. Is it because consumers are make out to be easy preys?
Going by the rising complaints received by CASE, I believe it to be so. There are in fact many other unreported cases, which I think, are unreported due to the fear of “losing face” or simply because many people have accepted this as a way of life.
Sometimes, I seriously think that people in the same industry has impeccable camaraderie, despite the fact that the job they do may be vastly different. That is how two or more companies can work together hand-in-hand to squeeze money out of consumers.
To beat the GST hike, a month ago, my parents decided to buy a new refrigerator. Most of the time, I just roll my eyes when the sales people address all males buyer-to-be as “boss” in Chinese and all females buyer-to-be as “miss” in Chinese.
No offense to the salespeople, after all they are simply doing their job to promote the stuff and most of them do not even have a good idea of how reliable the stuff is. So you can’t blame them when your newly-bought appliance spoils.
Well, it just so happened that ice formed in our new refrigerator…in the wrong place.
Ice miraculously formed in the bottom tier of our three-tiered giant, resulting the need for vegetables to be thawed before cooking.
Luckily, the warranty was still available so a maintenance man was called in.
Now, the middle-aged male owners are known as “uncles” while middle-aged females are known as “aunties”. If you run out of luck and encounter an inexperienced person, just brace yourself for the worst. Most likely, he will check your appliance and maintains that nothing is wrong with it. It is no big deal having ice forming on your veggies…plus, many people trust the brand, says the repairman.
I still remember, some time ago, there was this “Go the Extra Mile for Service”.
Oh please. Most people do not even budge an inch, let alone a mile!
Rather than focusing on better service, I think honesty will do.
How many consumers have fallen into the trap of “failing to read the miniscule printed words hidden at the extreme bottom of advertisements” and hence needing to pay than what the ad was supposed to offer?
How many letters proclaiming, “You have won a prize”, were received by people who have never purchased anything from the sender?
How many times have consumers been “coerced” by retailers to buy extra accessories for their gadgets that were supposedly to have “__% discount”?
The truth is, consumers have been exploited unknowingly by retailers.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
// nothing goes right //
As I knew my ez link card would be expiring on 30 June, I went to check out a transitlink office. The person said I could only change my card after 30 June. Ok.
So I went to the control office at an MRT station, since there is no transitlink office at that particular station.
The person told me that I can only get a refund at any transitlink office on weekdays.
So in order to go to my destination, I had to buy a standard ticket.
Then at that MRT station, I decided to try my luck and asked the lady at the transitlink office.
She processed my request right away.
But thing is, I already bought a standard ticket for the return trip!
So I told myself, no sweat, u just refund it at the machine.
Oh my. who knows, I pressed wrongly and the machine only returned me my $1 deposit! my fare just got gobbled up by the machine.
Argh.
But at that time, I wasn't that that upset cuz I signed up for M1 broadband service.
Turn out it didn't work! the salesperson fooled me by saying WIN ME is supported.
I called up the technical side, which told me its not supported.
well well.
then I also failed my BTT! Lynette passed!
that is my fault cuz I didn't study.
Oh man. I shouldn't have slacked all day at home.
Ended up, I register to retake while Lynette register for FTT.
Haiz.
Another thing.
My phone's PC suite does not support WIN ME too.
Haiz. Must I upgrade to WIN XP???
Btw, I went for medical check up today. I almost lost my way and almost lost my receipt.
Really running into a bout of bad luck recently...
As I knew my ez link card would be expiring on 30 June, I went to check out a transitlink office. The person said I could only change my card after 30 June. Ok.
So I went to the control office at an MRT station, since there is no transitlink office at that particular station.
The person told me that I can only get a refund at any transitlink office on weekdays.
So in order to go to my destination, I had to buy a standard ticket.
Then at that MRT station, I decided to try my luck and asked the lady at the transitlink office.
She processed my request right away.
But thing is, I already bought a standard ticket for the return trip!
So I told myself, no sweat, u just refund it at the machine.
Oh my. who knows, I pressed wrongly and the machine only returned me my $1 deposit! my fare just got gobbled up by the machine.
Argh.
But at that time, I wasn't that that upset cuz I signed up for M1 broadband service.
Turn out it didn't work! the salesperson fooled me by saying WIN ME is supported.
I called up the technical side, which told me its not supported.
well well.
then I also failed my BTT! Lynette passed!
that is my fault cuz I didn't study.
Oh man. I shouldn't have slacked all day at home.
Ended up, I register to retake while Lynette register for FTT.
Haiz.
Another thing.
My phone's PC suite does not support WIN ME too.
Haiz. Must I upgrade to WIN XP???
Btw, I went for medical check up today. I almost lost my way and almost lost my receipt.
Really running into a bout of bad luck recently...
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Back!!
From Changi Aloha!
The treasure hunt and games were super fun and a visit to the old changi hospital just next to our chalet ...arrh! but too bad it's a morning visit. so nothing much.
Best of all are the experience-sharing and dialogue session.
Not to forget the performances! a lot of Changi Village transvesite stuff which had everyone in stitches! LOL.
Let's strive to be a REAL Nichiren Shoshu believer!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
//Yea! I completed my elementary 1 Japanese full time course!//
Haha. Let me “show off ” my limited knowledge. ( eh. ‘cause I’m a beginner, so correct me if I’ve made any mistakes =)
Nihongo:
Mai nichi, watashi wa gakkou e ikimasu.
Mai nichi, atashi no sensei wa kyoshitsu ni nemasu.
Watashi-tachi no nihongo o yomimasu ga omoshiro-kunai desu kara, watashi no sensei wa kikimasu to nemasu.
Kesa, ju-ji kara juichi-ji made shiken o torimasu.
Muzukashi-kunai desu.
Kin-youbi kara nichi-youbi made, watashi wa kenshu e ikimasu.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
English:
I go to school everyday.
My teacher sleeps in the classroom everyday.
As the Japanese we read is not interesting, my teacher listen and sleeps.
This morning, I took an exam from 10 to 11 am.
It was not difficult.
I go to camp from Friday to Sunday.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok. Enough of my broken Japanese, I got to pack now for my religion’s student kenshu tomorrow! =)
Haha. Let me “show off ” my limited knowledge. ( eh. ‘cause I’m a beginner, so correct me if I’ve made any mistakes =)
Nihongo:
Mai nichi, watashi wa gakkou e ikimasu.
Mai nichi, atashi no sensei wa kyoshitsu ni nemasu.
Watashi-tachi no nihongo o yomimasu ga omoshiro-kunai desu kara, watashi no sensei wa kikimasu to nemasu.
Kesa, ju-ji kara juichi-ji made shiken o torimasu.
Muzukashi-kunai desu.
Kin-youbi kara nichi-youbi made, watashi wa kenshu e ikimasu.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
English:
I go to school everyday.
My teacher sleeps in the classroom everyday.
As the Japanese we read is not interesting, my teacher listen and sleeps.
This morning, I took an exam from 10 to 11 am.
It was not difficult.
I go to camp from Friday to Sunday.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok. Enough of my broken Japanese, I got to pack now for my religion’s student kenshu tomorrow! =)
// returning to the “virtual world” //
As I looked at the title that I’ve gave to this entry, It seems like this blog has return to “life” from the “dead”. Haha.
Throughout all the blog entries, I have never discussed what this blog meant to me.
Perhaps because I have never thought of it.
In case anyone is wondering ( ß typing this is weird! ‘cause I’ve never imagine anyone to read my blog! ), today is just like another day. (I mean, not any anniversary or whatever that is regarding this blog )
Time passes without us knowing. But I believe, as I am sitting here and typing, I’m spending quality time unscrambling my thoughts.
To me, this blog is just like my life. Perhaps less mundane than life and contains many intangible things that we can’t see or feel in our usual, routinal lives.
Instead of recording cold, hard facts of what I’m doing at the point of my life as indicated by the date and time shown, the entries represent my inner spirit.
In my opinion, we often used too much of our brains alone.
Everytime I am blogging, I feel that my brain and inner spirit is connected.
My inner self dictating my dreams, hopes, thoughts and feelings.
However, once I return to the “real world”, the connection is lost and my brain tells me what to do.
Recently, I have been settling a lot of uni admission stuff.
That is secondary.
What is really difficult is choosing between the two course I am offered.
Arts and Social Science Vs Materials Engin
As different as the two are, to me, both are as appealing.
In the end, I chose the latter and only submitted at the eleventh hour ( both literally and figuratively! )
It was sort of a 45-55 sort of thing but I convinced myself to immerse in the school of thought that I should choose the course that I have some interest in and which will offer me relatively good career prospects.
I guess I should call myself a realist because I did not choose to pursue a course based solely on interest.
Actually, what is important is to be able to work hard in whatever you choose.
Thus, I’ve made a promise to myself not to return to my slack and pessimistic attitude.
Kambatte!
Then after submitting the application, I kept wondering whether I should appeal, esp nearing the deadlines.
But I did not. I am happy for what I’m given.
As I looked at the title that I’ve gave to this entry, It seems like this blog has return to “life” from the “dead”. Haha.
Throughout all the blog entries, I have never discussed what this blog meant to me.
Perhaps because I have never thought of it.
In case anyone is wondering ( ß typing this is weird! ‘cause I’ve never imagine anyone to read my blog! ), today is just like another day. (I mean, not any anniversary or whatever that is regarding this blog )
Time passes without us knowing. But I believe, as I am sitting here and typing, I’m spending quality time unscrambling my thoughts.
To me, this blog is just like my life. Perhaps less mundane than life and contains many intangible things that we can’t see or feel in our usual, routinal lives.
Instead of recording cold, hard facts of what I’m doing at the point of my life as indicated by the date and time shown, the entries represent my inner spirit.
In my opinion, we often used too much of our brains alone.
Everytime I am blogging, I feel that my brain and inner spirit is connected.
My inner self dictating my dreams, hopes, thoughts and feelings.
However, once I return to the “real world”, the connection is lost and my brain tells me what to do.
Recently, I have been settling a lot of uni admission stuff.
That is secondary.
What is really difficult is choosing between the two course I am offered.
Arts and Social Science Vs Materials Engin
As different as the two are, to me, both are as appealing.
In the end, I chose the latter and only submitted at the eleventh hour ( both literally and figuratively! )
It was sort of a 45-55 sort of thing but I convinced myself to immerse in the school of thought that I should choose the course that I have some interest in and which will offer me relatively good career prospects.
I guess I should call myself a realist because I did not choose to pursue a course based solely on interest.
Actually, what is important is to be able to work hard in whatever you choose.
Thus, I’ve made a promise to myself not to return to my slack and pessimistic attitude.
Kambatte!
Then after submitting the application, I kept wondering whether I should appeal, esp nearing the deadlines.
But I did not. I am happy for what I’m given.
You are under considerable stress and you are almost about to 'blow your top' but you are fortunate enough to be able to exert control. Control is the name of the game and it is so good to realise that whatever the situation may be a this time - it will pass. You need to get away from everything for a while and if you do, you will find that, strangely enough, it will seem that most of your problems and situations will seem to wash away, just as the sea may wash away 'footprints' in the sand.You need an atmosphere of peace and quiet and you would like to share a bond of understanding with the 'right person' - you have the belief that with the right person, your stress and anxiety could be minimised.You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.Setback after setback has resulted in considerable stress and now you have got to the stage where you are continuously on your guard, not only to protect yourself from others but to protect yourself from yourself. It would seem that many of your unfulfilled hopes and dreams have led to uncertainty and suspicion. You no longer wish to answer to others and you are insisting on freedom of thought. You feel that you are fully self-sufficient and can control your own destiny. You are seeking ways to protect yourself from further loss of prestige and against further setbacks. You have become very dependent and you doubt that matters could possibly get any better in the immediate future and this negative attitude is leading you to exaggerate your claims and to refuse reasonable compromise.You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in 'dreaming' but it is you - and only you - that can be able to realise those dreams and to turn them into reality.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
| You Are the Middle Finger |
 A bit fragile and dependent on your friends, you're not nearly as hostile as you seem. You are balanced, easy to get along with, and quite serious. However, you can get angry and fed up with those around you. And you aren't afraid to show it! You get along well with: The Index Finger Stay away from: The Pinky |
oops dun mean to be vulgar=)
| You Are 36% Paranoid Schizophrenic |
 You're pretty grounded, though you have your occasional paranoid moments. Just make sure to ignore those voices in your head! |
| You Are Internal - Realist - Empowered |
You feel your life is controlled internally. If you want something, you make it happen. You don't wait around for things to go your way. You value your independence and don't like others to have control. You are a realist when it comes to luck. You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random. You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you... But you do your best to try to make your own luck. You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order. You realize that working the system does get you further. You know who to defer to and who to control. When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly. |
| You Are 65% Tortured Genius |
 You are smart. Brilliant in fact. And while it's a blessing, it's also a curse. Your head is filled with everything - grand ideas, insufferable worries, and a good deal of angst. |
Monday, May 07, 2007
// making a difficult choice //
Got another letter.
Finally!
I mean, I thought ntu totally forgot about my application when virtually all the people around me had already got their application results last week.
Well, it was my dream course last time. Mat sci engin.
Yes last time…people like me fantasize a lot. And I mean A LOT.
I thought being in that course will allow me to do research on materials to make things for the benefit for mankind.
Then my parents pull me back to reality.
“oh you know my company’s QC (quality controller) ? she studied that during uni…are you sure you want to be like her?”
oh dear! I’ll be bored facing machines and goods, checking them in the same method forever.
Argh.
I have no idea.
Biz, accountancy, engin are courses that are so “concrete”…if you understand what I mean.
Having the expertise that can secure you a stable 5-day work week…but truth be told, it’s monotonous.
In fact, I think having such a job can allow people to enjoy a good lifestyle…
Probably live in a condo, driving a normal five-seater, shopping in the weekends, possessing at least one credit card, having the extra cash to splurge on tech gadgets…
Sometimes I really relish a life like that…very much seem like the life of every successful person.
But other times, I feel such a lifestyle paid too much attention to materialism and may even made us to be more self-centred than ever.
On the other hand, arts&social sci gives me an “ethereal”, an unreal feeling…
Firstly, I don’t even know what sort of career can I pursue…other than teaching.
It’s a lot about people skills so I reckon there will be management jobs…training people and stuff like that.
Perhaps analytical skills also. Collect and analyse data…uncovering new trends.
Maybe such jobs would have a lower level of monotony…
Though may not bring a stable income but can directly make a difference in other people’s lives.
But I’ve got to consider carefully ‘cause I’m not a social person.
Lol. All my current thoughts are all typed out…thus unscrambling the mind.
An emptied mind is conducive for sleeping =)
Got another letter.
Finally!
I mean, I thought ntu totally forgot about my application when virtually all the people around me had already got their application results last week.
Well, it was my dream course last time. Mat sci engin.
Yes last time…people like me fantasize a lot. And I mean A LOT.
I thought being in that course will allow me to do research on materials to make things for the benefit for mankind.
Then my parents pull me back to reality.
“oh you know my company’s QC (quality controller) ? she studied that during uni…are you sure you want to be like her?”
oh dear! I’ll be bored facing machines and goods, checking them in the same method forever.
Argh.
I have no idea.
Biz, accountancy, engin are courses that are so “concrete”…if you understand what I mean.
Having the expertise that can secure you a stable 5-day work week…but truth be told, it’s monotonous.
In fact, I think having such a job can allow people to enjoy a good lifestyle…
Probably live in a condo, driving a normal five-seater, shopping in the weekends, possessing at least one credit card, having the extra cash to splurge on tech gadgets…
Sometimes I really relish a life like that…very much seem like the life of every successful person.
But other times, I feel such a lifestyle paid too much attention to materialism and may even made us to be more self-centred than ever.
On the other hand, arts&social sci gives me an “ethereal”, an unreal feeling…
Firstly, I don’t even know what sort of career can I pursue…other than teaching.
It’s a lot about people skills so I reckon there will be management jobs…training people and stuff like that.
Perhaps analytical skills also. Collect and analyse data…uncovering new trends.
Maybe such jobs would have a lower level of monotony…
Though may not bring a stable income but can directly make a difference in other people’s lives.
But I’ve got to consider carefully ‘cause I’m not a social person.
Lol. All my current thoughts are all typed out…thus unscrambling the mind.
An emptied mind is conducive for sleeping =)
Friday, May 04, 2007
// j0BlesS//
yay. slacked for like 2 weeks.
super shuang.
but then there no income!
lol.
its time to fret about uni application.
I think Ntu forgotten about me.
Nus decided I wasn't engineer material. (pun unintended)
thus i was placed in FASS.
Oh. gosh. why?
if i choose to be in there, i'll need to fret alot.
Firstly, I am not suited for SEAsian studies or eng lit or hist or geog or social work or wadeva.
out of the 20 courses, I am only interested in 2. psychology and communications &new media.
argh. what if i can't get into the course i want?
secondly, even if i could get into the course i want, what if my grades can't allow me to proceed to do honours in final year?
thirdly, and most importantly, what can I do with such a degree in future?
in addition, my parents aren't too happy.
they want me to study accountancy/ biz but i defy their orders.
but now...perhaps i should appeal to do biz...but i don't want to stay in a 9-6 office job FOREVER!
my mum says i'm weird 'cause i don't want a office-bound job...oh by the way, she hopes I can work in a bank.
like her bro.
my dear uncle who always got free perks.
of course i should know. working in the bank always gets you perks and discounts, as i have found out during my brief stint at the worst, i mean, world's local bank.
discounts on cars, restaurants, jewellery, branded goods...
perks of free cakes, early bird bonus in investment plans.
ok. that did it.
I'm seriously considering to appeal to take biz.
yay. slacked for like 2 weeks.
super shuang.
but then there no income!
lol.
its time to fret about uni application.
I think Ntu forgotten about me.
Nus decided I wasn't engineer material. (pun unintended)
thus i was placed in FASS.
Oh. gosh. why?
if i choose to be in there, i'll need to fret alot.
Firstly, I am not suited for SEAsian studies or eng lit or hist or geog or social work or wadeva.
out of the 20 courses, I am only interested in 2. psychology and communications &new media.
argh. what if i can't get into the course i want?
secondly, even if i could get into the course i want, what if my grades can't allow me to proceed to do honours in final year?
thirdly, and most importantly, what can I do with such a degree in future?
in addition, my parents aren't too happy.
they want me to study accountancy/ biz but i defy their orders.
but now...perhaps i should appeal to do biz...but i don't want to stay in a 9-6 office job FOREVER!
my mum says i'm weird 'cause i don't want a office-bound job...oh by the way, she hopes I can work in a bank.
like her bro.
my dear uncle who always got free perks.
of course i should know. working in the bank always gets you perks and discounts, as i have found out during my brief stint at the worst, i mean, world's local bank.
discounts on cars, restaurants, jewellery, branded goods...
perks of free cakes, early bird bonus in investment plans.
ok. that did it.
I'm seriously considering to appeal to take biz.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
// Sheryl Crow’s ideas to wipe out global warming- the ramblings//
Today I read the newspaper and saw this amusing piece of news.
Sheryl Crow is a great singer but that may not translate into being a great environmentalist.
But still, kudos for her efforts to think of these “easy” ways to save the Earth! =P
1) Limit each trip to the bathroom to one square piece of toilet paper
Well…this is a bit like intruding into our privacy. Anyway, how easy is it to make sure everyone really uses JUST 1 square of toilet paper? By the way, Sheryl definitely did not do any research. Some brands of toilet paper do not have squares!
Furthermore, I really do not think this method will help save trees because toilet paper is actually a recycled product and not directly produced from trees.
A better idea is to ration toilet papers. Then again, the price would go up and that may give tree-cutters more incentive to cut trees.
2) Don’t use paper napkins, instead, use your sleeves
Ooh…does preserving nature means that we sacrifice our hygiene?
As the preacher of such an act, let’s just wait and see if Sheryl Crow can eat her pasta and make a big, red tomato sauce mark on her US$5000 Gucci dress(provided the dress has sleeves) while dining with an US president wannabe , discussing ideas about his latest book “An Inevitable Truth”. I’m sure a few pages will be devoted to how, as human beings(celebrity or not), we have a secret desire to wipe our mouths on our sleeves after a meal. Then all of us shall celebrate.
And, who knows? It may become the latest “red” carpet fashion in Hollywood.
3) A TV reality show in which the winner would be the contestant who lives the most environmentally friendly life. The prize would be a recording contract.
Well, this is even easier than American Idol! Let’s cross our fingers that Sanjaya would not take part if Sheryl’s dream became reality. Plus, I’m worried about the fate of American Idol…this reality show may just surpass AI in terms of popularity.
Apparently she got a misconception that environment-friendly people could sing and vice versa.
Anyway, from the above, I hope we don’t get a misconception that singers are environment-friendly.
Today I read the newspaper and saw this amusing piece of news.
Sheryl Crow is a great singer but that may not translate into being a great environmentalist.
But still, kudos for her efforts to think of these “easy” ways to save the Earth! =P
1) Limit each trip to the bathroom to one square piece of toilet paper
Well…this is a bit like intruding into our privacy. Anyway, how easy is it to make sure everyone really uses JUST 1 square of toilet paper? By the way, Sheryl definitely did not do any research. Some brands of toilet paper do not have squares!
Furthermore, I really do not think this method will help save trees because toilet paper is actually a recycled product and not directly produced from trees.
A better idea is to ration toilet papers. Then again, the price would go up and that may give tree-cutters more incentive to cut trees.
2) Don’t use paper napkins, instead, use your sleeves
Ooh…does preserving nature means that we sacrifice our hygiene?
As the preacher of such an act, let’s just wait and see if Sheryl Crow can eat her pasta and make a big, red tomato sauce mark on her US$5000 Gucci dress(provided the dress has sleeves) while dining with an US president wannabe , discussing ideas about his latest book “An Inevitable Truth”. I’m sure a few pages will be devoted to how, as human beings(celebrity or not), we have a secret desire to wipe our mouths on our sleeves after a meal. Then all of us shall celebrate.
And, who knows? It may become the latest “red” carpet fashion in Hollywood.
3) A TV reality show in which the winner would be the contestant who lives the most environmentally friendly life. The prize would be a recording contract.
Well, this is even easier than American Idol! Let’s cross our fingers that Sanjaya would not take part if Sheryl’s dream became reality. Plus, I’m worried about the fate of American Idol…this reality show may just surpass AI in terms of popularity.
Apparently she got a misconception that environment-friendly people could sing and vice versa.
Anyway, from the above, I hope we don’t get a misconception that singers are environment-friendly.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
//work-fatigue//
Recently I have been suffering from work fatigue.
Its that kind of no-matter-how-much-u-pay-me-I-also-dun-want-to-work kind of attitude.
Its that terrible.
But then again my pay is really just average.
Truly speaking, next time when I have to work, I wont really mind lower pay or longer travelling time as long as I'm happy with the job.
Else I will job-HOP!
Just got to say i'm lucky that this is just a temp. thing...BEST of all, it is ENDING
I know I have been complaining ALOT abt this job so I wont add the details here.
And I've been reading "Digital Fortress"!
The story is so intriguing which makes me feel like working as a code-breaker! Cool :)
Recently I have been suffering from work fatigue.
Its that kind of no-matter-how-much-u-pay-me-I-also-dun-want-to-work kind of attitude.
Its that terrible.
But then again my pay is really just average.
Truly speaking, next time when I have to work, I wont really mind lower pay or longer travelling time as long as I'm happy with the job.
Else I will job-HOP!
Just got to say i'm lucky that this is just a temp. thing...BEST of all, it is ENDING
I know I have been complaining ALOT abt this job so I wont add the details here.
And I've been reading "Digital Fortress"!
The story is so intriguing which makes me feel like working as a code-breaker! Cool :)
Thursday, April 05, 2007
//contemplating the meaning of death//
Sometime between late tues night and the wee hours of wed morning, my first uncle breathed his last.
Warmth left his body, never to return.
The only thing that was ailing him was a stomachache that dragged unexpectedly over the past few days.
When my mum told me the news, I thought she was joking, until I saw her red, swollen eyes.
Oh? I had no hint of sadness, no emotion at all.
Strangely.
My thoughts went back to CNY when I last saw him hale and healthy.
My uncle was an authoritative and well-respected figure in the family…something like a da ge da.
His siblings could always approach him with their problems and he would do his best to help.
Can I imagine how he would look like when he's dead?
No way.
It was an unacceptable fact that he passed away suddenly.
7 years ago, I saw my grandpa on his coffin.
dead or not.
It's just a matter of difference over the appearance.
someone had said that a dead person looks like he is just sleeping
but many of us would beg to differ.
my grandpa usually wore white singlets and black shorts.
but in death, he was clad in yellow silk, decorated with threaded dragons.
his nose looked unusual.
not to mention the make-up.
any traditional men would not have any make-up on at any usual day.
so i wonder how different my uncle would look like from his normal self.
Sadly, in death, no one can have any control over their appearance, or in fact, over everything.
Maybe that is why many people feel death is frightening.
Sometime between late tues night and the wee hours of wed morning, my first uncle breathed his last.
Warmth left his body, never to return.
The only thing that was ailing him was a stomachache that dragged unexpectedly over the past few days.
When my mum told me the news, I thought she was joking, until I saw her red, swollen eyes.
Oh? I had no hint of sadness, no emotion at all.
Strangely.
My thoughts went back to CNY when I last saw him hale and healthy.
My uncle was an authoritative and well-respected figure in the family…something like a da ge da.
His siblings could always approach him with their problems and he would do his best to help.
Can I imagine how he would look like when he's dead?
No way.
It was an unacceptable fact that he passed away suddenly.
7 years ago, I saw my grandpa on his coffin.
dead or not.
It's just a matter of difference over the appearance.
someone had said that a dead person looks like he is just sleeping
but many of us would beg to differ.
my grandpa usually wore white singlets and black shorts.
but in death, he was clad in yellow silk, decorated with threaded dragons.
his nose looked unusual.
not to mention the make-up.
any traditional men would not have any make-up on at any usual day.
so i wonder how different my uncle would look like from his normal self.
Sadly, in death, no one can have any control over their appearance, or in fact, over everything.
Maybe that is why many people feel death is frightening.
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