//contemplating the meaning of death//

Sometime between late tues night and the wee hours of wed morning, my first uncle breathed his last.
Warmth left his body, never to return.
The only thing that was ailing him was a stomachache that dragged unexpectedly over the past few days.
When my mum told me the news, I thought she was joking, until I saw her red, swollen eyes.
Oh? I had no hint of sadness, no emotion at all.
Strangely.
My thoughts went back to CNY when I last saw him hale and healthy.
My uncle was an authoritative and well-respected figure in the family…something like a da ge da.
His siblings could always approach him with their problems and he would do his best to help.
Can I imagine how he would look like when he's dead?
No way.
It was an unacceptable fact that he passed away suddenly.

7 years ago, I saw my grandpa on his coffin.
dead or not.
It's just a matter of difference over the appearance.
someone had said that a dead person looks like he is just sleeping
but many of us would beg to differ.
my grandpa usually wore white singlets and black shorts.
but in death, he was clad in yellow silk, decorated with threaded dragons.
his nose looked unusual.
not to mention the make-up.
any traditional men would not have any make-up on at any usual day.
so i wonder how different my uncle would look like from his normal self.
Sadly, in death, no one can have any control over their appearance, or in fact, over everything.
Maybe that is why many people feel death is frightening.