//aimless and tired//

i always admire people who know what they want to do with their lives.
determination is a quality i've always lacked.

of course there is another type of people who do not question about their aim in life.
after all, ignorance is bliss.
if you do not question, you do not even think about it.

thinking too much...that's always more of a bane than boon.
why am i here?
how did i get here?
why do i have to continue what i'm doing?

Successful people always say everything that happens in their life has its own purpose.
that's easy for them to say as presumbly they are already successful and satisfied with their lives.
how about me?
I hate to think that but it's so true.
I'm just living my life for the sake of survival.
Studying, travelling, tutoring.
Satisfying?
Tiring.
I'm living from day to day like a rock.

// an unfortunate event //

I guess most people must have heard of the ntu stabbing incident.
Bad news spreads really fast.
Yesterday, I was at the library when I overheard some people talking about it.
The time was only less than 2 hrs after the incident took place.
Ironically, the news did not came from the students themselves,
but from their friend who was watching Channel NewsAsia.
Ok, haha i managed to overheard quite abit but they were talking so loudly,
I think everyone else present heard everything they were saying.
Soon, it was all over the web, in forums, msn.com etc.

Of course this sort of incident will invite a lot of speculations and theories.
However, since the student in question is already dead, it's nearly impossible to find out the truth.
It could be that the student was especially stressed due to the final year project.
It's also a possibility that he was depressed or agitated due to certain reasons.
Since I heard that the student was on scholarship and the professor has always had
good relationships with students, the cause of this incident is really full of doubts.
Could it be that the prof impose too much pressure on this top student?
Could it be that the student bore grudges toward the prof?
Anyway, I believe his move was pre-mediated, from the very fact that he had
a knife with him.

As of all suicide cases, there are some questions I want to ask.
Why hadn't anyone, friend or classmate notice the student's strange behaviours?
Did anyone know that he was stressed, or feeling emotional unstable?
Had we, in the pursuit of academic excellence, failed to show more concern to our
friends and people around us?
If only someone had realise this, he could have been talked out of doing such
a deed.
Conversely, he could have vent his anger and emotions in other ways than
choosing such a path.
His life could have been saved, and his parents, spared the agony.
The prof would not have been injured.

// midterm crisis //



After one week of break, it's back to school, back to midterm quizzes.

Midterm crisis, how apt.

Somehow, i just lack the motivation to study for the tests.

Some people say the weightage of midterm is very heavy, while others do not really care.

30-50%

I think it depends on how well u can perform for the exams.

haha in my opinion, if you can create a miracle in the exams, then midterm does not really

matter.

which i can never create.



Anyway, the break wasn't really a rest week for me .

Except for going to the travel fair and k-box, i was either having project meetings

or tutoring.

Yes. haha anyone keen on a free and easy trip to japan/hk?