// what do you believe in? //



Since young, I have always believed that whatever that happens is a result of our own actions.

In other words, our destiny is in our own hands.

However, as I grew older, I realised that the world is not so simple.

People's mentality change as they age.

Things which will happen happens and there's no control over it.

The mistakes we made will make us look back and realise the causes and how we could have prevented it but there's no way you could have known it beforehand.

So? is this called destiny?

Many encouraging phrases by famous philosophers, theologians, ex-world leaders, ex-US presidents...people who supposedly have weathered turmoils and turbulents.
"Failure is the mother of success"
"The process is more important than the result"
and so on. which I cannot think of at the moment.

If you win, you win. Could it be due to luck and destiny?
You lose, you lose. if you keep losing, it is wise that you accept that your are born loser.
Everyone knows to win is better than to lose.
But why are some people trying to prove the contradictory I have no idea.

Being sceptical, I cannot help but think they are simply phrases of self-consolation.

//back from kenshu//

I'm finally back to my comfortable home after spending 3 days at my religion's student camp.
BAck to water heater, laptop and TV!

Oh and, just in time to check out my results.

I hate getting Cs!
REally.
I wonder if the day of not seeing any C in my results slips will ever come?

At the same time, I'm rather happy to get a A- for intro to psychology!
yea! =)
hmm..makes me wonder if i should take up a minor.
Just for interests' sake ?
But my core mods will surely suffer. maybe a couple more Cs next time.
OK I JUST HATE Cs.
Super frustrated cuz the subject I spent the MOST time on reaped a Ccccccc.
=(
Like I think I have blogged last time, I should have remembered to bring a watch to that killer exam!
Full of regrets now =(
Or else I could have gotten at least a B-?



Goal for next sem: To achieve grades higher than C for all the mods.

-YONG JA- GO- YONG GAN de NINJA!-
(my kenshu group)

// out and out //

Last week, I was kept busy slacking at home.

The following pic explains it.

The best thing was that I got to meet up with christy for a long-awaited sushi feast.

Bonus: Bolt

Was debating between watching bolt and 4christmases.

The bottomline: Pigeons are dumb. Don't be too naive.

Haha!

Eat like there's endless food.

Chat like there's no tomorrow =)

This week, it was rather fun as I visited new places.

-Sunday-

It's to explore quaint, suburban town of Yew Tee.

Hmm...I wonder why, but I developed a fondness for that place even though I have never really step foot on that place.

Usually I will need to travel past the mrt station to get to school.

I think it's rather special because it's a relatively quiet place linking between the rowdy Kranji race course and the equally crowded Chua Chu Kang.

And on sunday, I finally got to visit the Yew Tee central, which is nothing like a shopping centre.

But I've got to say, the chicken cutlet noodles from the food court's taiwan stall IS serioously delicious.

I mean.. yes the cutlet is crispy, but the noodles are superb.

I have never eaten such 'QQ' noodles, so full of bite and succulent.

It's a hidden treasure I managed to uncover. lol. =D

Anyway, I was thrown off the track by the thought of those noodles.

And not to mention, I especially like the view from weiqi's 16th storey unit!

Everything on the ground, every building faraway seems so minute.

I had a sudden feeling as though I was living in the clouds.

Ok, perhaps just a hallucination.lol.

And, haha, I couldn't believe it, I tried chiku for the first time.

I mean, I have heard about the fruit, maybe more than 10 times.

I remember, in primary school, the science questions sometimes involved classifying chiku in a Venn diagram or something like that.

And, when people want to name fruits after alphabets, they'll go..

A is for Apple.

B is for Bananas.

C is for Chikus....

Don't they?

They tasted quite nice and I couldn't believe my ears when meiting said there were chiku trees growing in aj and she used them in elementz lab last time.

Haha. I am such a frog in the well.

I checked with my mum and she certified that she have never bought them before.

I asked why?

"Last time in kampong, we used to eat alot of chikus and it was free, fresh from the trees. I see no reason to pay for it now. anyway, it's rather hard to find in supermarts"

What a reason.

Mystery solved.

Oh ya, I never read chinese books unless I'm required to.

But the book by Jimmy is really nice.

I feel like re-reading it.

Thanks, wq =)

-Monday-

It's the once-in-a-school-break ktv session with lynette, christabel and rou hua.

It's also the first time I heard someone I know (rh) singing jap songs.

Hmm..so pro =)

Lynette just came back from Taiwan and Christabel is going Korea.

It's like everyone's going overseas.
Hmm...rather envious because I have never been to those two countries before.

Out of nowhere, I formed some warped theory. lol

My (warped) theory:

If you have never been to a country and you heard your friends talking about going to that particular country.

Level of envy: 90%

If you have been to a country and enjoy being there, and you heard your friends talking about going to that particular country.

Level of envy: 70%

If you have been to a country and did not really enjoy being there, and you heard your friends talking about going to that particular country.
Level of envy: 10%

-Tuesday-

Went to the library to get some books.

I managed to borrow Neil Humphreys' Final notes from an island, and the latest CSI book.

And several Ian Rankin's mysteries.

-Wednesday-

It's another rare meet-up with my xinmin friends.

I finally had a chance to eat Ajisen Ramen for the first time.

The waitress at the square2 branch was especially helpful and nice.

She even offered us iced water when she noticed we finished our iced tea.

We also bought a small but pretty bouquet of roses for suyee.

The shop owner was especially kind to explain to us each kind of flower he used.

Baby's Breath- I finally know what it's called!

Went for suyee's chinese orchestra at nyp.

The conductor is so charming! omigosh.

He even interact with the audience by asking us to clap or say 'ee-haw' whenever he points his baton at us during the song.

I especially enjoyed the Beatles's medley. and the 'ju hua tai' too!

All those never-die classics.

A 'western styled' chinese orchestra,

that's what I can say.

-Thursday-

It's the MSE gang's one-day trip to Malaysia.

Of course when we're there, we have to take advantage of the low exchange rate and go for anything that is cheaper than in Singapore.

It's the first time I watched a RM6 movie. It's sooo cheap i can't believe it.

However, the screen turned blur at several instances.

And there were only chinese and malay subtitles.

Luckily I could understand Jim Carrey.

Anyway, It's so comical that I was laughing until I was tearing.

Jim Carrey IS fantastic.

BE A YES MAN. lol.

Then, we went to the Ktv, which was more roomy than Singapore.

In fact, I think it's because Malaysia has much more land than Singapore, that's why I find

everything there is larger than Singapore, take shopping centres as a common example.

To top it off, we ended the trip by going for zhi-char style food.

I tried the fried cereal crayfish..weird combi but tasty nontheless.
I think their stir-fried baby kailan is fresher than what you can find in Singapore.

After being to Malaysia so many times, I seriously think their veggies are fresher and tastier than Singapore's.

If Singaporean kids do not like veggies, who knows? trying them in Malaysia might just change their mind about greens.

Yea. I bought scones and egg tarts from 'Season' too.

A must-buy!

-Friday-

Paid S$6 to find out the hype about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series.

Sometimes, it's good to be a student.

You can just flash your ez-link card to be entitled to many discounts.

Haha. The econs term is 'price discrimination'.

Anyway, next time when I graduate... everything and everywhere will be adult-priced

and the best (and cheapest) entertainment is probably renting dvds to watch at home.

Oops..i sound like NO MAN.lol.

Okay, back to Twilight.

Even though I have never read the book before, I had this feeling that the book would be much more interesting than the movie.

Ya, a bit disappointing.

I think it's rather bland and unconvincing.

However, I must say that it won't be easy to convert such books on supernatural beings into a movie. The director probably had a headache trying to find a cast of convincing vampires.lol.

Oh well, I don't even know if I would watch the second instalment of the series when it comes out.

-Saturday-

I was late for the baking session with debbie and hui ling.

When I reached deb's place, she was squeezing some coffee cream mixture onto some buns while hl was rolling some dough.

Haha. Truth be told, it was the first time I went anywhere near the oven.

Deb is so pro and skilful with the dough whereas hl and I were struggling.haha.made some really awful ones.

Anyway, Deb encouraged us and we made some nice ones. Nice ones that can be showed at the party.

Deb's mum came into the kitchen and asked us what was that (the awful-looking ones).

hl and I was, like, hmm..those are our 'creations'. I guess those were really beyond recognition =X

Haha. In the end, hl and I took our 'creations' home. 'Creations' that I'll rather not be proud of.

Aiya, too bad hl couldn't make it for the gathering due to a wedding dinner...but haha we know that she'll probably meet sy in korea.

And, yes, hl is going to korea with christabel and a few other uni friends.

Haha. Singapore is indeed very small. Two of my friends who didn't know each other earlier on ended up in the same course.

Anyway, I was late for the gathering as I had to go home to shower and change.

Mel said something like, my presence is a once-in-a-year phenomena.

Come to think of it, it was rather true.

Anyway, it would suffice for me.

I was expecting a buffet-style dinner, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw my ex-classmates seated in a restaurant style.

But it was rather nice, I might as well describe it as alfreso-dining style.

Complete with candles, nice music and elegant ambience.

In fact, jiayi's place is really elegant and nice.

No doubt it was not easy organising a pot-luck party and I thought jiayi and suelynn did a nice job =)

Then we had to wait for andee for the gift exchange...and he appeared rather late =(

I think those of us taking public transport were at the risk of missing our last buses and trains.

Perhaps it was worth it because he was up to his (un)usual antics, I think everyone present yesterday will definitely remember what he bought for the gift exchange.lol.

Lucky deb =X

//the best drama//

I'm abit slow..but this show is fantastic.

moonlight resonance.

//back from KL //

Actually our mini getaway was to my uncle's house in KL.
Oh and can you believe it, his house is so near to Zoo Negara, Malaysia's national zoo.
I mean, in Singapore, our zoo is at such a ulu place where nobody stays.
In KL, however, you can find residentials near the zoo.
According to my uncle, the animals there are underfed and malnourished, so we did not visit the zoo.
The nice part of it is that we could see giraffes walking about the back of the house. (of course there were fences)
The downside is that we could hear threatening lion roars and elephant screeches.
Not to mention the pungent smell of animal manure occasionally drifts into the house.
yucks.
lol.

Other than indulging in shopping, the highlight of the trip is going up the Petronas Twin Tower!
Actually, we just went up to the skybridge at the 41st floor. (The whole tower is about 81 storeys high)
Of course it isn't the highest in Asia already. (Taiwan's 101 building has taken over)
My mum and aunt kept saying the skybridge was swaying but I didn't feel any movement.
Perhaps it's all in their mind la.

Anyway, when the staff showed us some introductory video about the Petronas company, my sis and I felt it was so ironic.
Just one day ago, my uncle drove to a petrol station to pump his car but guess what?
The station staff said there was no petrol!
haha first time we're seeing a petrol station with no petrol for sale.
And it was not only one petrol station but the whole stretch of petrol stations.
Shell had no petrol, neither had Exon Mobil, Petronas or Berhad BHD.
It was until we reach the second Petronas station when there was finally a few pumping stations with petrol.

Later in the day when we went to this Jusco shopping centre, electricity was down when I was trying on some shoes.
The whole shopping centre was thrown into darkness save for a few dim lights in the department store.
All the other shops was in pitch darkness.
If there were dishonest people or thieves around, they could probably get a really fat loot.

As my uncle says, "Malaysia, no petrol, no electricity"

Another thing to mention is their confusing LRT systems.
At one platform, there can be two trains travelling in two different lines.
The catch is to look at the words shown on the front of the first cabin.
At first we did not know about this and caught the wrong train twice!
There was no different colour codes or whatsoever.
haha and I couldn't make any sense out of the malay words.

In Singapore, our LRT trains are colour-coded yet so many people still took the wrong one.
Are we so pampered?

By the way, the traffic conditions in KL is terrible, with jams everywhere.
Sometimes, the lights only allowed time for two cars to drive through.
I really admire the drivers there who have special adaptations abilities.
To avoid such long queues of cars, many of them skilfully did a U-turn, albeit illegally.
Anyway, knowing the kind of traffic police they have, most likely there will be no penalty.
Pedestrains are really bold to cross the roads in front of snaking queues of cars.
And the drivers are good at estimating the distance between the car and pedestrain to avoid knocking them down and at the same time move in the queue swiftly.

Overall, it's not too bad an experience, except for the fact that the bus operator cheated our feelings and money. They promised to let us alight at Kovan bus terminal but just before the Woodlands checkpoint came the annoucement that all will be getting down at woodlands checkpoint as the bus will not be going through the custom.
I bet that driver did not have a malaysian passport. (which by the way cost RM300)
That explains why we were issued new bus tickets (when we had already got on the bus) which was imprinted with RM 39 instead of the RM50 we paid.
Great. they have destroyed any evidence that we could use for lodging a complaint.
Having taken a 830pm bus, we were left stranded at wdl checkpoint at 2am.
What a nice end to the journey.

sem 1 exams has officially ended for me! yay!

come, holiday mood, come!

Off to a mini getaway to .... KL!

I have a long to-do list this coming holidays, hope I can complete them =D


there's an urge to change the blogskin, by the way.
the repulsive force from familiarity

// I dunno why //



I dunno why some people want to run away from familiar stuff.

people like me.

familiar stuff like places, people and food.



I always tend to complain and feel bored when

I been to familiar places, see familiar face, eat familiar food

but when it's gone

feelings of regrets just overwhelm

why I didn't cherish it in the first place.



some people have a admirable life.

yet they still complain.

some people are worse off.

yet they still need to listen to such complains.

and pretend to empathise.



Is there fairness?



some people are born to manipulate people and use them for their own benefits.

some people are born to be used and manipulated.



Is it true?



some questions about life doesn't have an answer.

some facts of life I'll never understand.




------------------------------------------
two posts in a day that don't make any sense.

enough la, you!

//whines//

next week.
econs and ms 2008.
ms 2008 the killer paper.
set by prof wang the genius.
i'll be killed.

why?
electrons.
such a small thing yet matters so much to my grades.

I dun understand why ntu doesn't give any study break.
Time. I'm lacking it.
Boo.
Still have so many chapters to go.
I'm also lacking in memory.
Think I only have 1gb the most.
how.how.

oh, I almost forgot to mention my econs mcq test.
80%
And I SUed the subject.
great huh.
but I can't slack for econs.
becuz the past year exam papers have shown it to be another difficult paper.
papers full of application qns will definitely kill me.
somemore, my memory retention power is really bad.
I forgot 70% of what I studied for the test.
I think I did the right choice to SU it after all.

obama 297 (won!) macain 139
(270 electoral votes to win)

I think obama is going to win! =)
Change, we need.

http://edition.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/president/

Astrology.com sent me a birthday reading. Lol.

Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others

You appear gentle and soft, and you act rather reserved with others until you know them well and feel it is safe to be open with them. You have a strong need for emotional security and a sense of belonging, and are deeply attached to the past: your heritage, roots, family, cherished friends, familiar places, etc.Making radical changes or moving away from what is known and safe can be very painful and difficult for you. You tend to cling and hold on to people, memories, possessions of personal or sentimental significance. Having a home, a safe haven, is very important to you.

Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation

Quiet, deep, emotionally complex and intensely private, youare not a person who is easy to get to know and understand. You are extremely sensitive but disinclined to show it, and you allow only a special few into your inner world. Like a wary animal, you are cautious and mistrustful of those you do not know until you"sniff them out". You are very, very instinctive and intuitive.You usually have a strong, immediate gut reaction to people, even though you may be unable to clearly articulate why you feel as you do. Your feelings and perceptions go deeper than words.

//say bye bye to tech com//

I had wanted to post on this last wed, when our presentation finally ended.
But I had some more things to do.
Anyway, I'm so glad that the project has ended.
I was extremely nervous while presenting, and I think many people did sense my anxiety.
Anyway, what's over has been dealth with and I shan't brood over it.
The results will be released on wed.
We were happy that our proposal achieved an A grade.
But, imagine our horror when it was only worth a measly 15%!
Even our 3-5 minute oral presentation carries 20%!
Anyway, people always say that a good start is half the battle won.
I am not too worried about the grade as per se.

Haha! I decided to prolong "my day" by one day!
So today I had a respite from school...uh but no break from study (I have another quiz worth at least 20% on wed, not to mention the upcoming exams starting next wed)
So here am I, enjoying my extended birthday!
Dun be too jealous of me, k! =D

// It's My Day! //

Before I launch into contemplating about turning twenty, I want to thank all those who have wished me. Those specially-concocted messages really warms the heart. =D

It is surprising how some of my old friends can remember my birthday.
Of course, they may have did it with the help of facebook or friendster, but I'm still grateful that they actually took the trouble to wish me.
Those are people whom I'm not close to, but have worked with before in projects or have taken the bus with, or simply have engaged in mindless chatter with.
Haha. You know it is them when their wishes come together with their surnames and the class you have been together to.

I especially want to thank my best-est friend of 12 years who have even taken the trouble to mail a card to me.
With today's technology, anyone can easily send an e-card instead of mailing by post but the latter really brings back alot of memories for me.
As I have shifted house twice,(technically thrice, though) I wouldn't have maintained many friendships without post.
When I first left my 1st primary school in P2, my pals and I wrote letters to each other to keep in touch.(suggested by my mum)
Even though, my friends just have to write one letter each, and I had to reply to all four letters (regina, gladys, ting hui, ping ting), I did not mind.
All the while, we did not get to meet up.
Sadly, I guess this was the reason our friendships started to weaken...
I lost touch with them in P6 and sec 1 mainly because we stopped writing.
It was rather sad for me because 2 of them apparently moved but did not inform me.
My letters to them just bounced back to me, with the words "wrong address" imprinted.
I guess I will still meet them someday and I do hope I can still recognise them!

Come to think of it, I really wrote a lot of letters when I was younger.
When I shifted (again!) away from woodlands in sec 2, I wrote to my best-est friend,(christy)whom I got to know in primary sch and my secondary school friends (mt and wq =D).
All three of them are still very in touch with me even till now.

Perhaps it was all the cumulative letter writing over the years that made me like writing so much.
Nowadays, technology allows us to communicate instantly and the appeal of posting a letter is lost.
To save time and money, it is logical for us to make use of the technology to communicate.
Many have debated over the pros and cons of this matter. I'm not sure which is better though. I mean, if you win some, you'll lose some.
However, one thing I'm sure is that it is virtually impossible for us to revert back to the old days, though the communication by post will always remain a soft spot in my heart.

// for one more day //

Just read ' for one more day ' by mitch albom.
I had no idea this book was about life and death beforehand.
The protagonist in the story had wanted to seek death because he felt rather useless and hence guilty towards his ex-wife, daughter.
And most importantly, his mum.
He did not manage to see his mum one last time before her death as he went to play some baseball game.

He was in an accident when he miraculously saw his mother alive
I think that was his hallucination.
Anyway, during his hallucination, he spent a day with his mum.
That day, ironically his most meaningful day of his life, he:

1) discovered his mum secretly worked as a cleaner to support his education
2) found out his dad, whom he has admired so much, had another family
3) took a trip down memory lane about what his mum has done for him and what he did not do for her.

A touching, yet inspiring book.

// one thing after another //

ok, now i'm officially taking a break from tutoring!
yes!
my tutees' exams have all ended and now what's left to do is to wait for their PSLE/E-O-Y results.

anyway, received an alarm bell from my psychology lecturer today.
exams are a month away.
i can't believe this sem is ending so soon.
i thought i had more time.
scary and relieved at the same time.

everything is getting tougher and i'm feeling the heat.
yr 1 sem 1 everything was relaxed and yr 1 sem 2 i was struggling.
yr 2 sem 1, well, time is just not enough.
in addition to tutorials, there's always something else, like reports, that we have to do.
one of my lab mates, a poly-direct entry student, commented that this sem was similar to his yr 3 in chemical engineering.
in other words, extremely busy and stressed.
another lab mate was reminiscing about yr 1 being a honeymoon yr.

and the truth is that things will get even more tough for the coming semesters.
everytime, i will just cringed when the lecturer says that the concepts he has just taught will be further elaborate on in yr 3/4.
it's like, i would be thinking: I can't even understand you now, how do you expect me to understand even more abstract stuff next time?
But as all things goes, I just hope a solution will surface when the time to face such problems arrives.

on a lighter note, i find psychology really fascinating.
i mean, other than memorising the theories and names of psychologists.
i really admire those psychologists who can stand up for their own beliefs.
to create a theory about human behaviour is indeed fascinating!
unlike what most people think, psychology is a science which theories have to be proven before being recognised.
as i understand it, a psychologist forms theories by observing humans/animals behaviour and also using his/her intuition and then prove it by doing experiments.
then the theory will be name after the psychologist.
and there would most likely be some other contradictory theories by some other psychologists.
hence they will need to argue for their stand.
psychology is also evolving.
theories that exist today can be obsolete tomorrow.
sounds like something i would like to do.
which reminds me that recently i heard from someone that her friend's daughter is earning a pathetic sum after graduating with a degree in psychology.
i really don't understand why psychology is so underrated sometimes.
especially when some branches of psychology have useful applications.
like organisational psychologists who can help to improve relationships among colleagues and increase productivity by creating a conducive working environment
like developmental psychologists who can help young children and mentally disabled children learn more effectively.
like criminal psychologists that helps to identify the profile of a criminal in order to solve cases.
anyway, the discrepancy is very wide, i have heard of organisational psychologists earning $10k/mth and psychologist-turned-counsellors earning $1.?k/mth.
the market for psychology graduates is just too small in sg and most tend to work in other fields.
but it is a different story in US.
perhaps the culture is just very different there.
Asian societies like ours value practical things like social standing and 'face' whereas they value things like human rights and freedom of speech.

//midterms //

This week: 2 down, 1 more to go.

I can wave my 40% worth of ms2008 grade goodbye.
Ok, I couldn't decide which midterm was worse, ms2005 or ms2008.
Or perhaps it was ms2002.

Anyway,
I was simply irritated to the core today during the test.
Call me sensitive or fussy
But I JUST CAN'T STAND IT
when the person sitting beside me keeps on sighing and banging his pen on the table

especially in the silence of exam time.
where every sound is amplified by at least 20 times and each bang on the table causes a vibration magnified by at least 50 times.

I don't know the person but was absolutely irritated by him.
We were supposed to sit in an alternating pattern but apparently there were not enough seats in the LT to accomodate this.
He came in late and I was sitting at the very last row so he conveniently plonked into the empty seat next to me.
Argh!
Never felt so frustrated during a test before.
Goodness knows how many times did he sigh.

I was thinking:
Bro, I know you have problems doing the questions but look, you're not the only one, Ok?
Very soon, that thought turned into frustration.
All I wanted was to throw a brick at him.
Luckily, after the test, he scot off fast.
Or else I don't know what I could have done.
Seriously.

In any case, i doubt any of my other uninterrupted midterms will be any better.
I always had this sinking feeling after every single test.
This "doomed-to-fail" feeling.
Well, I certainly hope my tutee won't have such similar feelings when PSLE starts on Fri.
The battle begins.
He, like me, is always hovering between a pass and a fail.
Talk about Who you'll meet is a mirror reflection of yourself.



Can I handle any more disappointment?

I don't want to face the world.

I wanna be alone.
Alone in the land of strangers.

//twist lick dunk//

haha.
Once i read the clarification notice put up by Oreo in 'Today', my mum and i immediately open a packet of Oreo cookies! =)

// reports, reports and more reports!//

Sort of tired doing the lab reports..

Ok, truth be told, I don't feel like doing anything.

except watching youtube videos, tv or shopping.

Hello man! it's holiday!!

and it's only for one week.

why am i stuck at home doing reports, studying and tutoring.

Mega SIGHS.

Happy times are always short-lived

.

// RECESS WEEK! //

it's already mid-term.
but i'm still wondering what is happening.
lessons are progressing at such a fast pace that
i'm lost

lectures and tutorials.
i'm stuck.

i mean, i knew an ENGINEERING course would be demanding
what i didn't know is that
i couldn't rise up to the challenge.

last sem was bad.
thus i wanted a change this sem.
but to improve things?
easier said than done.

self-motivation is losing steam.
self-comforting is hurting pride.
self-esteem is at all-time low.

i crave for more time
to study and understand
the abstract concepts
and formulae

but some other things are competing for my time.

travelling time.
it's definitely nice to return home to a comfortable place
but is it worth sacrificing 1/6 of a day travelling?

tuition.
it's great to have more allowance
and even leftover money to save every month
but is it worth spending the time?
a trade-off between money and time.

and I don't understand why we need to have tutorials for tech com module
cuz it's never productive.
just give lectures and record it
so that i can skip it and watch online recording in record time.

as for the constant disturbance in the house.
who dares defy the matriarch?
no point defending yourself or you will be accused of shifting reponsibility.
no point explaining or you will be accused of giving unreasonable excuse.
little things that makes no sense.
why argue?
my precious time will be wasted.
just admit to whatever teeny-wheeny accusation.

hence
i can't be bothered.
i'm NUMBED to the noise.

silence is simply the best solution.

//back to s'pore=back to reality//

Although I was in JB for less than a full day, it was nice to be physically away from the normal life.
This time round, it was for my cousin's wedding, which came as a surprise as he is only a few years (3-4 yrs) older than me.
In actual fact, it seems to be like a social norm in Malaysia to get married rather early, by S'pore's standards.
Anyway, due to the physical distance, my sis and I were never really close to any of our cousins, all of whom resides in Malaysia.
When we were young, perhaps, yes.
Especially during CNY when we played firecrackers with them and count our hongbao money together.
It was really enjoyable and bonded us and our cousins.
We had always look forward to CNY whereby my family will make trips to Malaysia as the bulk of our relatives stays there.
However, as time goes by, especially in the teenage years, my cousins would be visiting their friends during CNY and my sis and I would be left alone in the house to set firecrackers by ourselves.
Yes, even though the firecrackers still burnt as brilliantly, the enjoyment has already faded, leaving its remnants in our memories.
Time is what one cannot buy, no matter how much money one has.

//getting a glimpse of light//

finally!
I've thought things through and decided not to run away from my project and tutorials (for now, that is.)
my brain is functioning!
I just thought of something to do abt the project
and as for tutorials...
i'm logging off now to do them =D

//escape from reality//

I'm more and more certain that I'm a reality escapist. (if there is such a term)
Running away from real-life problems seems like second nature to me.
And I don't know why.

For example, when our project run into problems, I can easily put them at the back of my mind.
I don't know if I have little willpower or what... but whenever I see a complex problem to solve, I'll just put it aside and never try to solve it, be it homework or project work.

Maybe it's because I don't even trust myself.
And there are signs of this.
Whenever I found some web articles to analyse, usually my mind draws a blank...and even if I have form a certain views or impression about the article, I doubt myself whether my views would even be convincing to the others.
Whenever I found a way to solve a problem, I have doubts whether my concept of the topic is even correct.

Why why why?

perhaps it's sheer cowardice.
i see myself as such a weird person.
i don't seem to think like a normal person would.
i seem to have different understanding of a certain thing...sometimes very different from others.
most importantly, i don't dare to voice out.
i'm such a coward.

currently, my mind is in a turmoil and it's telling my to forget about doing my homework and just copy answers during tutorials.

tomorrow will be better.
tomorrow all lectures and tutorials would make me forget about the turmoil i'm going through now.
i'm just escaping from today.

it's hard to battle with my mind.



// Zoo! //

it has been a good five years since i visited that "only for children and tourists" place.
what can i say?
it's such a good break from the busy school life.

I don't really adore animals
but
it felt good
just walking among trees,
on the grasses,
admiring the flora and fauna,
inhaling the fresh air.

walking in nature has always been so relaxing.

not to forget, I simply love the GREEN-NESS of that place =D

//a pessimistic optimist//

Today's lessons ended rather early (so will tml, due to union's day)
and I had some time to think outside of physics and found the inspiration to blog a short entry.

Well, today's tech com class was rather embarrassing as I e-mailed a crap piece of in-text citations to the tutor (on behalf of the grp).
As we had not decide on the topic for the project, we actually wasted alot of time deciding the topic when we were supposed to do the citations.
Anyway, as I was typing for my life in order to hand up the piece of work, I read my friend's handwriting wrongly. (if only I had some common sense)
It was a rush as we were supposed to e-mail him and he would project his laptop screen and check his account in real time. (as such everyone can see your mistakes =S)
we were the last grp to hand in and made the most mistakes.
argh. I think the tutor will forever remember my name as I sent to him through my e-mail account.

it was also the first time lugging my laptop to sch.
as i wanted my bag to be lighter, i purposely did not bring my umbrella to school.
as you would have guessed, i was crossing my fingers and hoping it would not rain.
on the way back home, after alighting from the mrt, guess what- it was pouring so heavily at khatib-i was cursing my bad luck and decided to take shelter at the bus stop (with my 2.4 kg laptop) if it was still raining after my bus ride.
when the bus was near those factories at yck, it rained even harder and i thought i was destined to wait for the rain to stop.
BUT the weather is so unpredictable!
somehow, at the few bus stops before i alight, the rain suddenly trickled to a light drizzle.
Haha. imagine how glad I was!

Thought of the Day:

Life is like a bus journey.
there is no telling whether your destination is shining or raining.

//brain freeze//

year 2 subjects are oh-so-hard.
it's hard to figure out what the ms2002 lecturer is talking about.
it's difficult to draw free body diagrams for ms2005.
it's a daunting task to complete the ms2008 tutorial.
and I haven't got a single idea of how to do my ms2010 tutorial.

my mind seems to detach itself from all the engineering stuff.

it's currently full of Olympics events, senses and perception (psychology) and consumer/producer surplus. (yes it's back to econs after a 3-yr hiatus)

now I wonder why am I here in MSE.
gotta 're-discover' my motivation in coming here.

// an Olympic Silver for Singapore? //

Though yesterday marked the end of a 48-year medal drought for Singapore, the debate about foreign talent is never-ending.
Perhaps this medal the table-tennis team has won for Singapore would shut the skeptics up, but my guess is that, it would not be for long.
It seems to me that only the country's leaders are excited and joyful about this occasion, as shown by ministers turning up for the matches and PM Lee doing away the live telecast of the National Day Rally (the finals against China was shown instead).
On the other hand, many people in the general population are still sceptical of the win and some may even not feel any joy or happiness.
I can understand those feelings.
Afterall, the ones who represented Singapore are not born and bred here.
However, on the other side of the coin, if the foreign talent policy did not exist, Singapore may have to wait 60, 80 or even another 100 years to win another Olympic medal.
This brings me to the question why is this so.
It's not that we don't have the local talent.
It's simply because we do not develop our homegrown talents.
There is always an opportunity cost to incur when we favour to do one thing over another.
In our society, sadly, the chase for paper and material gains has caused our sporting talents to be under-developed.
No matter how good one is in a sports, the tendency is that one would follow the society's invisble command to take on a 9-5 job, taking sports as a recreation activity.
That shows how practical Singaporeans are.
Exactly how many out there are playing sports as though it's their life?
Therein lies the difference between great athletes and average ones.
In my opinion, if you like sports, you do it for it's own sake.
You don't train for the money.

// tired //

my arms are aching
my legs are bruising
i finally learnt cycling!

// no longer a freshie- going into sophomore year//

my, how fast, one academic year has already passed.
to me, it's the feeling of trepidation as the prospect of a working life inches closer.

perhaps i should not think too much.
live for the moment, as some people might say.

anyway, it's goodbye canteen A and hello the new foodcourt.
eating has never been so cool (literally, with air-con)
however, the taste of the food did not improve.
some stalls have changed hands, like the western food (said to be a branch originally from NUS)
those which did remained have charged higher prices.
well, other than this, i also have another grumble.
today i ate char siew rice (rice is the chicken rice type) from the chicken rice stall.
it was so greasy, the char siew (they translate into BBQ pork) and rice was practically glistening at me.
my stomach did a flip flop as I tried to finish it (drinking lots of soya milk in the process)
no wonder the stall had a lack of patrons in comparison to other stalls.
i doubt the chicken rice would taste any better.
although a perennial favourite among students, i guess it will lose it appeal as it is not cooked by singaporeans.
(FYI: the cook is from a certain country that experiences winter- that explains the ultra oily dish-i don't think i need to say more)

on the academic side, it's a headache in planning the timetable as we have to think whether we want to go for overseas exchange programs in yr 3(which by the way is super ex, unless you have high GPA) whether to take a minor, whether to do yr 3 attachment overseas.
but i guess i will more or less see how it goes before deciding.
i believe, whichever road that is meant for me will appear when the time comes.
no point fretting about it now as there are so many unpredictable factors.

today i went with wt to see our mentor.
when he saw wt's cGPA, he let out a loud WOW.
lol.
well, i have WOW-ed before already, at her ~4.7 GPA
then he says to her "you are a confirmed, very safe in the first class honours region"
then they kept talking about some research programme which only the top 5% can get into .
all the while i pretended to nod and pay attention.

then, the focus turned to me.
well my Cs in math and physics did not escape his eyes and he began to frighten me off by saying I will suffer in two of the modules this sem and one module in yr 3 as those relied heavily on physics concepts.
he said it in such a matter-of-fact way that i had to agree.
the two solutions he offered:
1. ignore your weaknesses (if in future you don't intend to stay in engin industry)
2. fix your weaknesses (if you really want to become an engineer)
he says "if you can get an 'A' in MS2008 this sem, you would have eliminated your weakness"
my reaction: totally fat hope

// it's lynette's birthday! //

just came back from a k session with them and i can't seem to get some songs out of my head.

singing- a form of release

look at the cake christabel bought. it's so cute. and she was nice to make the flags with our names =D cuter!

"hello! we are P1 pupils with our name tags! uh no. we mean name flags"

//my desk is on the verge of collapsing-thankfully my world is not//

well my ultra messy desk has a lot of junk- and just a handful of useful stuff.
most of my books are on the shelves so i'm wondering why is it collapsing.
a signal that i should clear up my junk?

anyhow, i've just realise that as we grow older the world seems to get messier.
just like my desk.
we accumulate more junk as we grow.
on the other hand, we acquire more knowledge and experience as we grow.
is that considered a good thing?
i dunno.
it just seems to me that the knowledge and experience that we supposedly gain are for practical purposes like living and working in the real world.
which simply helps to contribute to our already messed-up world.

perhaps i should take back my words.
from another perspective, the world never become messier.
it's just that as we grow older, we become more aware of things happening in our country and even at the other end of the world.

i doubt if anyone would get my drift cuz i'm not too sure myself.
just some impulsive thoughts.

just want to comment that as we grow older
many things become out-of-reach.
and impossible.

for example.
a naive seven-year-old tells you,
she wants to grow up to become a teacher.
Grown-ups: Wah good girl! To be a teacher is being a useful person!

when she's eight, she says
i want to be a doctor.
Grown-ups: Good! Doctors can earn a lot of money and save people.

when she's nine, she changes her mind yet again.
i want to fly in spaceships! i want to be an astronaut.
Grown-ups: Good! What an adventurous girl!

when she's ten, her fickle mind can't stop.
i want to be a lawyer! so cool man.
Grown-ups: Yea! just talk a few sentence and you'll earn loads of money.

when she's eleven, she thought over and over. thinking very hard.
she says, i dunno what i should be in the future.
but the job must

1. make a difference in someone else's life
2. allow me to have a sense of satisfaction
3.allow me to travel to other parts of the world

Grown-ups: Girl, stop daydreaming, there's no such perfect job. just be a teacher/doctor/lawyer. you can earn loads.

At twelve, she has no time to think of a new ambition.
she has to study for Please Stop Learning Everything.

when she's in secondary school, she stops her daydreams.
she studied. she ate books.(figuratively) she swallowed that irritating "Air-math" ten-year-series.
in fact.
she studied for the sake of studying.

in jc.
she realised she could never fulfil any of her ambitions.
because she didn't want to?
because she couldn't?
because she has finally gotten a glimpse of the rat race.
she couldn't forget how horrible it is.
how impossible it is to achieve her dreams.
how elitist the society is.
how you have to be the very best to get what you want.

in the end, she realised.
perhaps she should just lead a normal life.
hold a normal nine-to-five office bound job.
earn a healthy income.
forget her ambitions.
forget her dreams.

she has to be practical.
she has to be logical.

oh how she hates the word practical.

oh, by the way, if you haven't already guessed so, the once-naive seven-year-old is yours truly =)

finally- worth the wait

//trying to get the spirits up//

yesterday.

was supposed to throw a surprise birthday celebration for a friend.
was running late, but
i cannot believe how coincidental is that.
to meet her at the door of the mrt just as i was about to alight.
then i had to fake some reason why i came despite the fact that the night before i just told her i couldn't make it for the "shopping trip"
of course that was only a smokescreen.

luckily,
still she believed my reason to be there and the surprise wasn't spoiled.
anyway, everyone went on low budget yesterday.
no popcorn or drinks for the movie, Red Cliff. 赤壁.

well, critics from ST said Red Cliff part I had less battle scenes than part II
truth be told, I thought part I had really a lot of battle scenes.
anyway, this film is rather easy to understand, even for me, a noob of the Three Kingdoms.

(i vaguely remembered my chinese sec3/4 textbook had this excerpt 赤壁之戰 whereby 周瑜 led 130 thousand troops and won the battle against 曹操 800 thousand troops. at that time i was amazed by the victory)

but i don't really understand why it had costed so much ($80 million) to film this movie.
my guess is that they spent a lot paying the extras, and for the props (a lot of ships and horses, weapons and armour)
if you ask me which part of the movie I like most, I would say the acting.
especially Takeshi Kaneshiro as 诸葛亮, and Chang Chen as 孙权.
Tony Leung Chiu-Wai as 周瑜 didn't leave much of an impression on me, though.
Vicki Zhao as Sun Shangxiang 孙尚香 fitted her onscreen personality though i'm rather taken aback by how much she has aged, even as her playful character amuses the audience, as always.
and it was unanimously agreed that the scenes in which Chiling Lin appears as 小乔 as Tony's wife, were meaningless.
perhaps in Part II her role will become more useful as the devilish 曹操 had a crush on her since aeons ago.

anyway, even though i was yawning through and half asleep at the start of the movie where 曹操 army emerged victorious against 刘备troops. (maybe the righteous side of me hated to see the devil prevail over the good)
i was wide awake when they discussed the military strategies and the first victory battle claimed by the 刘备-孙权 alliance.
but since the real 赤壁之戰 haven't been shown yet, perhaps perhaps i might catch Part II when it is showing. (who knows when?)

//lazy//

recently just too lazy to blog.
haha.
anyway, contributing to my lazy mood is due to the lazing around that I've been doing since 11 june, the day which mark the end of my jap exam.
Just to comment that I felt so lucky that I got the jap module for this special semester.
Last week, I received an e-mail that from next year onwards, NTU gonna charge 500 bucks for special sem!
Haha! I did not need to pay any additional school fees for this special sem.

While lazing around, well, I've been finding work but to no avail.
Anyway, I'm surviving on my income as a tutor.
Which serves fine except that I'm so bored in the afternoons.
Newspapers filled my mornings and that's fine cuz I don't rise early.
It's habitual, I think.
someone said before that if you are born in the morning, you'll tend to rise early and if you are born in the night, you'll tend to sleep late and it's quite true for me.

updating my life is so boring because it's truly plain.

//Seeking Gratitude//

If you woke up this morning with more health than sickness, you are more fortunate than the one million people who will not survive this week.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you can attend your religious activity or political meeting without fear of harassment arrest, torture, or death, then you are more blessed than three billion in the world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in your pocket, then you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

vacation has just started.

//feeling emo //

i wonder how people who are always at the top feel when getting their results
perhaps they find no kick in seeing their straight As results

for me, well, i was so terrified of seeing the results.
those in my jap class checked their results before going for the oral exam.
this leads me to think that i've shown no emotional maturity at all.

anyway, this sem I've done worse than last sem.
as expected.

exam results coming out on...thursday!
I think I better check the results after my oral exam.
Should I?

//what happens in Vegas//

ok. a romance comedy.
actually it wasn't what I have in mind.
haha. but it was entertaining.

like all romance comedies go.
guy meets girl.
in this case well.
ashton kutcher meets cameron diaz in Las Vegas
and they hit the slot machine jackpot.
3 million USD
well it was actually after their discussion that both will not take their one-night fling seriously.

but for 3 million USD
they went to court.
and you know, the funny court scene where they are supposed to "try" to live a marital life, otherwise the prize money will remain frozen under the court's rule.
it was funny when they tried to piss each other out.
by doing idiotic things like taking out the bathroom door.

as you might have guess,
they finally end up together.

there are simply too much coincidences in the story.
oh well.
what happens in Vegas only will happen in Vegas, in reel-life.
Real-life is much too complicated.

// it's eat-eat-eat after the exams //

I have been eating so much after the exams.
woah.
so much so I wasn't even tempted by the filet-o-fish today.

I need to stop.

Anyway, I've been accompanying my parents shopping these few days.
Went to Carrefour.
Ate a bento and a plate of western food.
glutton!

Went to JB.
Ate an american-style set lunch.
sinful!

ok, I'm so guilty.
as you might have guessed,
currently,
I'm so bored that I am actually blogging about what I ate.
yes, I'm uber bored.

there's nothing good on TV.
there's nothing to do online.
to be specific, I have already finish watching yesterday's episode of "chao ji xing guang da dao" on youtube
(so left nothing much to do)

in case you are wondering, it's a singing competition in Taiwan.
anyway, yesterday's episode was especially nice =)
the judges were supposed to eliminate 1 contestant
but they saw the tremendous effort put in by every contestant to perfect their singing as well as dancing.
in the end, no one got eliminated.
so everyone got a chance to compete again.
that's nice because some of them really can dance but cannot sing well
whereas some have good vocals but lack the body language.

i daresay, this show is at least 10times better than Singapore's Project Superstar or Sg idol for that matter.
the judges are really professional.
they are always eager to pin-point the weaknesses of the contestants
with the hope for the contestant to become better.
whereas, in singapore, the judges are much much too conservative.
assuming the judges are also similarly qualified,
judges in singapore just do not really point out mistakes or give constructive suggestions.
sometimes i really wonder they are just there for the sake of having judges?

the host, tao zi, is also great.
she herself is a singer so she also gave some good recommendations to the contestants.
she thinks on her feet and reacts quickly.
in this area, sg really pales in comparison.
the hosts are always dishing out overused, cliche comments which we have probably heard for a thousand times.

great show!
it should be broadcasted in singapore also because there's 2 singaporeans left in the competition.

//it's Oover!//

exams are finally over.

i dun wanna care abt the grades anymore.

it's time to enjoy =)

woohoo! i'm so happy!

//10 people chasing after 1 ball - one guarding goalpost//

wahaha.
never knew soccer could be so exciting.
my dad asked me to help him check the results of EPL match.
Chelsea v Man-U.
2-1.
haha.
he's disappointed i guess.
that Man-U won't be able to claim their trophy as yet.

but i stumble upon these videos.
thought they were pretty cool =P

Ballack's goal no.1--- http://videos.sapo.pt/JEZHPFWrjy63BDnkRckN

Rooney's goal --- http://videos.sapo.pt/ZPeC3jgbFEitj8rJmhPo

Ballack's penalty goal --- http://videos.sapo.pt/Ae1bOiGSTzODR0Mvnzqs

// so.......is that a confirm C grade? (or worse) //

omg.
should have S/Ued "Impact of Chem on Society"

9 marks out of 20!!

how could it be?
i did some research at least.

the last test when i did zero research,
i even managed to scrape a 12/20.
must have been by sheer luck.

so now i'm almost certain a big fat C or D will greet me.
when i read my final grade for this CBC.
gosh.
my worst mistake ever is not S/U-ing this module.

my core modules are dying and now even this elective is pushing me into the boiling, hot soup.

i am engulfed.

last two papers - Physics and CBC
will prove to be the most crucial and toughest of all.
because i've failed both CAs.

//random//

haha.

mum must be feeling strange.

one daughter being cheerful at nothing.

another one is sallow-faced.

so who's the one having exams?

you can't guess correctly based on logic.

really.

*-finding a cause for cheer in the little things in life-*

i'm quite good at that =P

//trying to keep up the optimism//

Gauss's law states the net flux through any closed surface is ......

when everybody else in the world is revising,
it seems like i'm just starting to learn everything
i took one whole day to learn electric fields and Gauss' law.
counter-productive.

why didn't i understand the concept earlier?
what was i doing during the lectures and tutorials?

it's just the start.
i've counted.
18 physics chapters to go.

not forgetting chem and impact of chem.

3 more papers to the road of freedom.

by the way, i've enrolled for jap lvl 1 module in May.
after much, much consideration.
well, in case, i've got to re-take any of the modules (predict: maths/physics/computing)
next sem.
i won't have time to study an elective then.

it's hard to keep up the optimism when things aren't going your way.

// PROCRASTINATION //

It is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time.
Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.For the person procrastinating this may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of personal productivity, the creation of crisis and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments. While it is normal for individuals to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning.

Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological or physiological disorder.
The psychological causes of procrastination vary greatly, but generally surround issues of anxiety, low sense of self-worth, and a self-defeating mentality. Procrastinators are also thought to have a higher-than-normal level of conscientiousness, more based on the "dreams and wishes" of perfection or achievement in contrast to a realistic appreciation of their obligations and potential.Author David Allen brings up two major psychological causes of procrastination at work and in life which are related to anxiety, not laziness.[citation needed] The first category comprises things too small to worry about, tasks that are an annoying interruption in the flow of things, and for which there are low-impact workarounds; an example might be organizing a messy room. The second category comprises things too big to control, tasks that a person might fear, or for which the implications might have a great impact on a person's life; an example might be the adult children of a deteriorating elderly parent deciding what living arrangement would be best.A person might unconsciously overestimate or underestimate the scale of a task if procrastination has become a habit.
From the behavioral psychology point of view, James Mazur has said that procrastination is a particular case of "impulsiveness" as opposed to self control.

The relaxed type
The relaxed type of procrastinators view their responsibilities negatively and avoid them by directing energy into other tasks. It is common, for example, for relaxed type procrastinating children to abandon schoolwork but not their social lives. Students often see projects as a whole rather than breaking them into smaller parts. This type of procrastination is a form of denial or cover-up; therefore, typically no help is being sought. Furthermore, they are also unable to defer gratification. The procrastinator avoids situations that would cause displeasure, indulging instead in more enjoyable activities. In Freudian terms, such procrastinators refuse to renounce the pleasure principle, instead sacrificing the reality principle. They may not appear to be worried about work and deadlines, but this is simply an evasion.

The genius procrastinator
Genius procrastinator is a type of relaxed procrastinator intelligent person. Unlike the typical relaxed type procrastinator, who usually does not care about what they are delaying, geniuses do care but do not need to put a great deal of effort into that area to do well, and therefore can wait until the last minute, put in minimal effort, and still produce a good result. Genius procrastinators often work well under pressure; often, when they do not have a deadline set for a project, their work lags. Other genius procrastinators are just lazy with their time in general, and when they're procrastinating in a subject that they are not as skilled at, they usually fall under the tense-afraid type (see below). A common example of the genius procrastinator is the precocious student who is working in a class where the expectations are set far below their ability level in that subject. For example, a gifted writer in a standard elementary or middle school English class often waits until the last minute to write their papers because they know that they will get an A even by putting in the lowest amount of effort possible, and that to expend any more effort than that on such an assignment would be wasteful.

The tense-afraid type
The tense-afraid type of procrastinator usually feels overwhelmed with pressure, unrealistic about time, uncertain about goals and many other negative feelings. Feeling that they lack the ability or focus to successfully complete their work, they tell themselves that they need to unwind and relax, that it's better to take it easy for the afternoon, for example, and start afresh in the morning. They usually have grandiose plans that aren't realistic. Their 'relaxing' is often temporary and ineffective, and leads to even more stress as time runs out, deadlines approach and the person feels increasingly guilty and apprehensive. This behavior becomes a cycle of failure and delay, as plans and goals are put off, penciled into the following day or week in the diary again and again. It can also have a debilitating effect on their personal lives and relationships. Since they are uncertain about their goals, they often feel awkward with people who appear confident and goal-oriented, which can lead to depression. Tense-afraid procrastinators often withdraw from social life, avoiding contact even with close friends.

oh man. I think I'm in-between the first and third
type.

//End-of-Sem//

Whoa.
It's the end of another semester.
Which means year 1 has (almost) ended.
That is.
If I managed to scrape through the exams in the next three weeks.

For this going-to-end semester, I mostly planned the timetable myself (with Liqing too)

#Lab Mondays#

The most interesting thing about doing lab experiments is that we go to different labs each week to do different stuff.
The worst: a 10-page lab report in 2 weeks
Need I say more?

#Mac Tuesdays#

The only day I can wake up at 8am, the latest among everybody in the house.
The only day I have a luxurious 2-hr lunch break.
I'll grab some food before maths tutorial (which I absolutely detest the tutor)
And have MacDonald's (under peer pressure from yb and lq)
I think I only eat and crap on those days.

#Panic-over-computing Wednesdays#

Firstly, I fear being late for the class (which I have a tendency to)
Secondly, I go frantic over how much I don't know about computing.
Not to mention that after I complied the program, the number of errors-to-be-corrected totally freaks me out.
Thirdly, the mad rush from South spine to get to the PHYSICS tutorial at the North spine is enough to make anyone breathless and lose concentration during PHYSICS.

#Evil Thursdays#

It's the most EVIL day of the week. (imagine us nearly-got-struck by lightning)
After being brain-drained by vi's loved professor Talia, there is no way anyone could still function like a normal human being.
That is when I threaten to shoot down all the birds at Hall2 while Vi professes her love for Talia to bushes and trees.
We simply suffer from laughing disorders- getting tickled by the most innocent thing we see. (namely bushes, trees, flowers, birds and Einstein)
Did I say we saw Einstein?
Yea, that's how evil it gets.

#Slack Fridays#

The day ends at 12.30, which is no surprise why it's my favourite day of the week.
Except when there is Chem test.
I'll just die of stress when I see many people get nine or ten marks (out of ten) while I could only manage a pathetic seven.


Anyway, life gets pretty mudane and routinal after some time.
For this sem, at least.
For every week, there's the same timetable, same classes, same classmates, same tutors, same route to class.

//countdown to d-day: 8 more days //

Can a SLACKER turn into a MUGGER?

//Funny -Crazy//

Water fight in NTU canteen?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_2gVzNaeso

Triple-sharing hostel rooms
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MXVYGi3DWJk

//it's time to mug//

Counting down to exams-11 days
Looking at the stuff I need to read up on, it's making me panic.
Double panic- my tutees exams are coming up too.

Well, many people say I've slackened this semester and that is no further than the truth.
Since fallen ill at the beginning of the sem, there seems like no way I could catch up with the lectures and tutorials. (or maybe it's due to my limited willpower)
I missed every single module's first tutorial and lost my head throughout the rest.
This must have been the worst time ever.
Till now, I still feel the phlegm stuck in my throat.
No matter how hard I cough, it just wouldn't come out.

Does anyone have a remedy for getting rid of phlegm?

I know I'm asking for too much, but what about a cure for sleepyness?
I want to quit dozing off during lectures.
Even I myself, am surprised at how easily I doze off during lectures and on train rides.
And I really mean, dozing off!
Not just resting my eyes.

P.S Finished《原来我不帅》on youtube. Totally hilarious.
P.P.S If you can't make sense of this entry, don't bother to try.
It is just the random ramblings of a desperate+panicky student.

//Declaration of S/U? //



come to think of it, so far i did not do well for the electives i took for this sem.

the psychology test yesterday is bound to be a goner.

the prof actually gave out two versions of the paper, namely o1 (printed on white-coloured paper) and 02 (printed on yellow-coloured paper)

i was assigned the yellow paper.

then i kept wondering what was her motive behind that.



-to prevent copying? (not very convincing since we had to leave an empty seat in between two people)

-to test if people like conventional (white test paper) things?

-to test whether what she has done would result in distraction of thought?

-to prevent people from discussing the answers after the test?

-or any other logical reason

Go figure.




erm, perhaps it is a test of something.

haha anyway, we were sort of being "manipulated" as the"independent variable" in the sense of what we have learnt in our module.

anyway, vi took the white paper whereas i took the yellow one.

when we compared the questions we took, we realise she probably set the same questions for both versions but changed the order of questions.

wahaha.
who in the world can interpret her "Einstein-like" brain juices?
not forgetting why on earth did she imitate his hairstyle...=P

//the need to psycho myself to study psychology//

psychology is hard.
somemore it's more difficult for me since i have no natural aptitude for it.
in addition, i'm more SLACK than ever.
vi absolutely adore prof talia whereas i do not.
talia is a weird character but i guess that's what you would become after years of psychology.
i'm not surprised.

everything is a possibility.
no right or wrong answer.
a logical one would do.
the problem lies in the fact that each and everyone of us has a different definition of what is logical.

//friends- forever possible?//

Even though I had laughed it off, what liqing said today about friends stayed in my mind until now.

Why do we make friends in:

1) Primary school?
- To play hopscotch, skipping
-To exchange stickers, stamps
-To talk with
-To complain about teachers with
-To ask, confirm, double confirm what homework the teacher gave

2) Secondary school?
-To discuss homework with
-To consult teachers with
-To complain about teachers with
-To join CCA with
-To gossip with
- To compare results with
-Because everyone go in groups and you don't want to be a loner

3) JC/Uni?
-To copy their homework
-To gossip with
-To complain about teachers with
-To widen your social circle
-Because they may be your future colleagues
-you don't want to feel alienated

It just seems that there is lesser and lesser reasons to make friends as you grow up.
Maybe that's why childhood friends are the best.
But one never knows when someone will change.
It is just so sad.
Societal needs has changed the way we make friends.
Who are your true friends who truly appreciates you for what you are?
And who are those who just to get something out of you?
It's hard to tell.

But as I think again, instead of bearing grudges against those "friends" whom had tried to make use of you...
Why not just keep an open mind and simply enjoy whatever that comes?
The world has its fair share of manipulative people.
Let's be one of those sincere ones instead.
Instead of doubting people every now and then, I think I'll rather simply treat every friend with sincerity and compassion.
I don't know whether I can seriously pull it off but I'll am going to give it a try if I happen to meet such people again.

//The Leap Years//

For the first time, I realise you are a reflection of me.
I see myself in you.
You are chasing your dream while I am chasing after you.

- KS (Qi Yuwu)

//homework pile up high //

the things I've got to do is still as many as ever.
my weekends are still as packed as ever.
anyway, yesterday we celebrated wx's birthday.
the mind cafe at prinsep st actually opens at 2pm but we thought it was at 12.
once the b'day boy cum outing planner announce the fact to us, we could not contain our displeasure.
come to think of it, it was no doubt a natural reaction but...haha we had unwittingly reprimanded the b'day boy.
maybe i think too much.
it's my tendency to do so.
anyway, the games were quite fun and 4-6 people is really the optimal size to play board games.
however i was quite irritated with the table of girls seated diagonally opposite us.
if you guess it, yes, they were screaming too loudly.
ok it is an understatement.
they were practically screaming as though their lives depended on this game.
in other words, they were screeching our ears off.
even the other patrons at the counter gave them a second look.
i guess they were wondering whether they have should entered this place at all.
after all, it wasn't worth it to sacrifice their hearing just for a few hours of board games.
anyway, they took the tables instead of the sofas.
after mind cafe, the rest of them went swensen's for the b'day cake and glass house for Fish & Co. while i made my way home for tuition.
(oh man, I haven't ate b'day cakes and fish & co. for quite some time.)

//k-box day//

Well, I've been slacking this few days.
Bet I'll be doing last minute work over the weekend.


I haven't do my part for effective com assignment.
I haven't start on the formal lab report.
I haven't started writing.
I haven't catch up with all the tutorials.
I haven't done my effective com reflection paper.
I haven't studied for Chem and Psycho tests.


I bet you can't believe how good I am at slacking.

Sat: Rehearsal+tuition
Sun: Rehearsal +tuition
Monday: watched 原來我不帥! (JJ is so darn funny!)
hope this will not be shown on TV too. like the 公主小妹.
else it will just waste my time on youtube.
Today: K-box marathon with lynette and christabel. (11am-6.30pm...so tiring!)
Wed: Mind Cafe?
Thurs: PROJECT
Fri: The Leap Years?