// alternating between shine and rain //

Gosh I'm feeling super bloated right now.
Sometimes I just don't know what is happening to me.
Here am I feeling so full yet I'm craving for a snack, like those lying on the dining table.
A piece of strawberry chocolate, a banana, some raisins or a few rolled biscuits?
All seems to be equally tempting to me. (yes, even on a bloated stomach)
Perhaps it is due to my lack of discipline.
Oh my, I just went to close the window to keep off the second hand smoke (courtesy of my neighbour) when I spotted some colourful steamed kuehs on the coffee table.
Yes, my home is probably a *snackophile's haven.

Suddenly this realisation dawned upon me... that my lack of discipline IS the root of all my troubles.
Maybe I shouldn't have the belief that "people should have all the freedom to do what they want". Come to think of it, the whole world would be in chaos if this really come true!

Because of this belief, I chose blogging and surfing the internet now instead of mugging for my CAs in the upcoming week.
Because of this belief, I chose to talk back to my mum instead of heeding her advice.
Because of this belief, I chose to slack around instead of studying for the physics re-test.
Because of this belief, I thought that I shouldn't correct others even if what they did would hurt other people.

Although I do not know how other people like my family and my friends see me, I sort of get the feeling that they see me as a hardworking, serious and peace-loving type of person.
Surprisingly, I myself do not feel this way and have no qualms about telling people I'm not like what you think.
I am, in fact, a slacker trying to work hard.

Motivation... my dear friends have given me a lot...especially through this blog.
That is why I still have the strength to go on and not totally give up on myself.
What I lacked is really the intrinsic motivation that arises from within myself.

Anyway, at this point of my life, I yearn to fulfil my resolutions.
I seek to be more discipined, more self-motivated, better management of time and emotions.
And, of course, better organisation of thoughts.
In this entry, my thoughts are all scattered. I'm simply typing out what I feel and think at that very moment.

To borrow a phrase from one of Westlife's old songs, "To be a better (hu)man"


Today I was supposed to type a happy entry because my family held a (very) early birthday celebration for me.
That's why, with the dinner and cake, I was super full.
However, perhaps the guilt of being out the whole day had overwhelmed me.
I was supposed to be studying!
My slow progress: -Materials science not even touched yet,
- Physics (heat and optics) half way done
Don't even ask me anything about studying for the semestral exams.
I just want to focus on clearing this coming week's CAs first.

Anyway, I finally got my laptop!
It's a compaq model with good specifications.(intel core 2 duo T7300, 2GB ram, 160 HDD)
Came with a free printer (now I have 3 printers?!)
The harvey norman saleman threw in a webcam, PC-cilin software, optical mouse and 1 GB thumbdrive.
At $1999, I think it's quite a good deal.
Haha. I can't wait to use it!

*snackophile - a word invented by me- intuitively