I forgot how many times I have told myself that I will become a better person.
Have I?
I lost track, lost count.

One thing is for sure though, I have not achieved who I want to become.
Still the same old laziness which overpowered the discipline.
Still the same old desire to escape from reality.

To give myself a pat on the shoulder though, I think I have become more logical than emotional.
But it's hard to keep it up.
When things don't go my way, the first reaction is still boiling anger.
Why the person refuse to do what he is supposed to and this is going to throw my progress off the track...in both sense, be it work or personally.

Seriously, I see no point all these competition at work.
Long term wise, whatever achievements you made today at work could be well forgotten (or replaced) years down the road.
To me, what is deemed an achievement, is personal growth...this will determine how far you can go.
Another important constant reminder: Seek excellence in personal growth, not just temporal accolades.

My task list is getting longer and longer, before completing one task, another two would appear from nowhere.
Sigh, another thing to change: work efficiency.
Deliberative is the perfect word to describe my way of working.
Taking serious care in making decisions.
I just simply cannot proceed when my mind is still in the thick mist.
Without full understanding, I cannot get things move on.
Coupled my slow brain processing speed, things are just even worse...=(

Recently, one colleague asks me, how do you keep motivated at work.
I dunno...do I even look that motivated?
Positive thinking helps... but as times go by, you will just be thinking how long it will lasts, and left wondering if positive times would ever come.