Of reflections and resolutions

I wonder is it age that's catching up.
I wonder if the thing I fear most is happening.

What I fear most, is losing the ability to anticipate the new year with child-like excitement.
Losing the ability to hope for the many happy things that will come in this new year, regardless of whether they would actually come true.

Transitioning into the new year this time round, was with mixed feelings, rather than excitement.
Perhaps, stepping into the real world and seeing people for who they are, how they behave, really has a more profound impact on me than what I expected.
Perhaps, I myself cannot reconcile with facts about human nature, the many faces they wear, the motives that lies behind their action...just to name a few.
The problem just lies deep within, suppressing the supposed feelings of joy and anticipation.

I am aware that there are ways to overcome it.
One of the ways can be summarized by "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil".
Observe less, listen less, talk less, analyse less.
Another way is to accept  the evils and people for who they are.
After all, someone once told me that the world is made of good and bad, it needs to have this balance to function.
Either way is going to make me less of who I am, on the other hand, less of a troubling mind.
I can't convince myself at all.

2012 was quite eventful, especially in the second half.
Events and happenings are always a good way for me to gauge my own progess, whether I had learned or matured or remained stagnant in different aspects.
In life, there is no teacher, you have to manage your own life.
It's like I can almost see my own report card, ticks for things I had done right, or in a better way than previously, and crosses for things which I am still struggling with.

These reflections spurns off the following year's resolutions.

Setting new year resolutions also served to renew the new year spirits and signifies a brand new beginning.

1. Continue to strengthen faith and resolute in my religion.
2. Strive to be a better person (it will take pages to elaborate).
3. Make full use of everyday.
4. Stay healthy and happy and wish the same for everyone I know.
5. Be steadfast and more diligent.

The guiding principles for a fulfilling year ahead. Or so I hope.