Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Struggling to keep head above waters

我只想一直继续奔跑,不被任何事或人阻挠,不用费心思考,就单纯的为自己奔跑。

Losing grip of things, losing track of changes, the line of sights to objectives have been blurred by too much negativity, suspicions and unease.

What is my aim?
Where is the focus?
I have subjected myself to be controlled by the environment.
Confused, even frightened, a whole range of mixed feelings had overtaken the common senses, so much so that many silly mistakes and oversights have been made and I have to pay for them.

Perhaps it's an instinct of humans, that too much of something will cause one to react in the opposite way.
I can't shed a tear or feel sad for something I ought to be.
I don't feel anxious by all the workload even though everyone said I am overloaded.
Numbed by too many mixed emotions, emptiness because changes and new info came in too quickly before the old ones are being entirely absorbed.
Sometimes, I wished I cannot feel and cannot think.

Maybe it's due to feeling too much and thinking too much, the opposite had resulted.
Entirely voided of emotions, logic and positivity...
Which nothing else can hurt.

1 comment:

Wackiko said...

I suppose too much changes and being overloaded makes one feel so numb and powerless/too tired to oppose them. One simply switch off.