// 365th post //

there's no particular reason for this post.
it's just that, i'm lost again.
Lost in thoughts, i mean.

Each time I whine about going back to school.
About doing projects.
About tutoring.
Or anything else.
I still have to continue to do so.

Suddenly, it seems as though there's no real meaning in life.
Everyone is stuck in this rat race, following the process of studying, graduating, working, marrying, child bearing, bringing up children, educating them, retiring, relaxing and finally, dying.
Years pass by without getting much notice.
People come in and out of your life without permanent stay.
It seems like a natural process.

The world is so huge and yet each individual is so insignificant.
Why are we so bothered by the rat race?
Afterall, everyone has to go through it, whether you emerge victorious or not, does it even matter?
I know I sound self-defeating, but really, does it matter?
So what if you are at the top of the world next?
The next moment, you could fall all the way to the bottom of the ladder.
Hence, I can't understand why people butter up their boss, backstab colleagues, become self-centred, display kiasuism...etc.
Perhaps, a moment of weakness? but something tells me it's more than that.

I don't know about others, but sometimes, at some moments, I get these crazy thoughts like,
what's my cousins doing in msia? my aunty probably out for a karaoke session, my uncle at mahjong and my cousins out on dates.
Also, I'll savour the memories of my past overseas trips.
I wonder if the friendly uncle in hokkaido is still selling the uber delicious curry omelette rice?
Wonder what's the temperature like at Mount Fuji?
Wonder how's the soft-spoken vietnamese tour guide is doing?
I would even go to the extent of imagining the scene of Beijing's Great Wall and Tiananmen, is it still as crowded?
Then, after which, I will feel incredulous that at this very moment, people are experiencing different weather, different living conditions, different incidents at different parts of the world.
Please don't tell me I'm going crazy =P