// life can only get more difficult //

oh why, every year in uni seems to be challenging my limits and tolerance.
everytime i think something is tough, another even tougher task would emerge.
i always think that ultimately someday, there will come a time when i can't take it anymore.
it's a struggle to keep awake during lectures.
understanding what's being taught is taking a toil on me.
planning ahead for fyp and fulfilling it is driving me crazy.
i spent 80% effort and yet the yield is just 20%.
a math qn: how much effort do i need to put in to achieve 100% yield?

today i just told a friend why a teacher would be my last choice of career.
after tutoring for so many years, there is just no job satisfaction.
all my tutees want is a pass.
don't they realise that the bar has been raised?
it is no longer sufficient to just scrape through.
judging by her grades, i have a hunch that she wouldn't make it pass N levels.
sometimes i'm just simply amazed by her laidback attitude and self-confidence.
i'm just very disappointed by her prelim results.
failed all her subjects yet she has got the cheek to play her itouch before tutition starts.
To make it to sec 5, the average grade she needs to achieve is a B3 or B4.
i doubt even a miracle can save her.
4 years of my time and efforts going to waste.
i am not cut out to be a teacher, no matter how hard i try.