2013 looks to be a tough year ahead.
Felt like dying at the thought of all the action items on my list.
Not to mention the almost daily escalations.
Felt like escaping. again.
Even with people helping me out, I wonder how long I can last.
Often, I think of continuing to challenge my limits.
Yet sometimes, I simply feel like escaping.
The feeling of ambivalence is pulling me in opposite sides.
And I end up feeling exhausted and acheiving nothing.
The choice, ultimately, lies in myself.
Nobody is waiting for my decision, nobody is giving me a dateline.
But if I do not make a decision, I will forever be suffering in this state of ambivalence.
Gallup test says one of my strengths is deliberative.
Recently, it has become my weakness.
If I do not make up my mind, I will forever be stuck in the rut, never realising what I can actually do and what the future holds.
Another of my real weakness is a contributing factor too.
Sloth and unwillingnes to step out of my comfort zone.
All I need, to get out this cloudy state, is really plenty of courage, willpower and abit of impulse.
Empty promises made to avoid head-on clashes.
I feel so ashamed. This is so not right.
Today, I made a promise to myself.
I am so afraid it's gonna be an empty one too.
I really don't believe this. I can't even trust myself.
2 comments:
Happy new year!! Be more positive. Have hope and faith that things will turn out fine & everything, gd or bad, is a journey. Finally, do trust yourself no matter what. Wishing U an awarding yr ahead!
ps. if work is too stressful then look out for other opportunities. U muz enjoy ur work, at least for some parts of it though u may detest others. Some satisfaction. If there is none, then time to switch
Thanks wac! I do need to have more faith. Hope you have a rewarding year and able to fulfil whatever you set out ot do!=)
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