You Are the Middle Finger

A bit fragile and dependent on your friends, you're not nearly as hostile as you seem. You are balanced, easy to get along with, and quite serious. However, you can get angry and fed up with those around you. And you aren't afraid to show it! You get along well with: The Index Finger Stay away from: The Pinky

What Finger Are You?

oops dun mean to be vulgar=)

You Are 36% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You're pretty grounded, though you have your occasional paranoid moments. Just make sure to ignore those voices in your head!

Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

You Are Internal - Realist - Empowered

You feel your life is controlled internally. If you want something, you make it happen. You don't wait around for things to go your way. You value your independence and don't like others to have control. You are a realist when it comes to luck. You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random. You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you... But you do your best to try to make your own luck. You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order. You realize that working the system does get you further. You know who to defer to and who to control. When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly.

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

You Are 65% Tortured Genius

You are smart. Brilliant in fact. And while it's a blessing, it's also a curse. Your head is filled with everything - grand ideas, insufferable worries, and a good deal of angst.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

// making a difficult choice //

Got another letter.
Finally!
I mean, I thought ntu totally forgot about my application when virtually all the people around me had already got their application results last week.
Well, it was my dream course last time. Mat sci engin.
Yes last time…people like me fantasize a lot. And I mean A LOT.
I thought being in that course will allow me to do research on materials to make things for the benefit for mankind.
Then my parents pull me back to reality.
“oh you know my company’s QC (quality controller) ? she studied that during uni…are you sure you want to be like her?”
oh dear! I’ll be bored facing machines and goods, checking them in the same method forever.
Argh.
I have no idea.

Biz, accountancy, engin are courses that are so “concrete”…if you understand what I mean.
Having the expertise that can secure you a stable 5-day work week…but truth be told, it’s monotonous.
In fact, I think having such a job can allow people to enjoy a good lifestyle…
Probably live in a condo, driving a normal five-seater, shopping in the weekends, possessing at least one credit card, having the extra cash to splurge on tech gadgets…
Sometimes I really relish a life like that…very much seem like the life of every successful person.
But other times, I feel such a lifestyle paid too much attention to materialism and may even made us to be more self-centred than ever.

On the other hand, arts&social sci gives me an “ethereal”, an unreal feeling…
Firstly, I don’t even know what sort of career can I pursue…other than teaching.
It’s a lot about people skills so I reckon there will be management jobs…training people and stuff like that.
Perhaps analytical skills also. Collect and analyse data…uncovering new trends.
Maybe such jobs would have a lower level of monotony…
Though may not bring a stable income but can directly make a difference in other people’s lives.
But I’ve got to consider carefully ‘cause I’m not a social person.

Lol. All my current thoughts are all typed out…thus unscrambling the mind.
An emptied mind is conducive for sleeping =)

What Heng Hui Min Means

H is for Happy E is for Excellent N is for Nerdy G is for Glittering H is for Helpful U is for Unnatural I is for Intelligent M is for Mysterious I is for Innocent N is for Nerdy

What Does Your Name Mean?

lol. just for fun.

// j0BlesS//

yay. slacked for like 2 weeks.
super shuang.
but then there no income!
lol.

its time to fret about uni application.
I think Ntu forgotten about me.
Nus decided I wasn't engineer material. (pun unintended)
thus i was placed in FASS.
Oh. gosh. why?
if i choose to be in there, i'll need to fret alot.
Firstly, I am not suited for SEAsian studies or eng lit or hist or geog or social work or wadeva.
out of the 20 courses, I am only interested in 2. psychology and communications &new media.
argh. what if i can't get into the course i want?
secondly, even if i could get into the course i want, what if my grades can't allow me to proceed to do honours in final year?
thirdly, and most importantly, what can I do with such a degree in future?
in addition, my parents aren't too happy.
they want me to study accountancy/ biz but i defy their orders.
but now...perhaps i should appeal to do biz...but i don't want to stay in a 9-6 office job FOREVER!
my mum says i'm weird 'cause i don't want a office-bound job...oh by the way, she hopes I can work in a bank.
like her bro.
my dear uncle who always got free perks.
of course i should know. working in the bank always gets you perks and discounts, as i have found out during my brief stint at the worst, i mean, world's local bank.
discounts on cars, restaurants, jewellery, branded goods...
perks of free cakes, early bird bonus in investment plans.
ok. that did it.
I'm seriously considering to appeal to take biz.

// Sheryl Crow’s ideas to wipe out global warming- the ramblings//

Today I read the newspaper and saw this amusing piece of news.
Sheryl Crow is a great singer but that may not translate into being a great environmentalist.
But still, kudos for her efforts to think of these “easy” ways to save the Earth! =P

1) Limit each trip to the bathroom to one square piece of toilet paper

Well…this is a bit like intruding into our privacy. Anyway, how easy is it to make sure everyone really uses JUST 1 square of toilet paper? By the way, Sheryl definitely did not do any research. Some brands of toilet paper do not have squares!
Furthermore, I really do not think this method will help save trees because toilet paper is actually a recycled product and not directly produced from trees.
A better idea is to ration toilet papers. Then again, the price would go up and that may give tree-cutters more incentive to cut trees.

2) Don’t use paper napkins, instead, use your sleeves

Ooh…does preserving nature means that we sacrifice our hygiene?
As the preacher of such an act, let’s just wait and see if Sheryl Crow can eat her pasta and make a big, red tomato sauce mark on her US$5000 Gucci dress(provided the dress has sleeves) while dining with an US president wannabe , discussing ideas about his latest book “An Inevitable Truth”. I’m sure a few pages will be devoted to how, as human beings(celebrity or not), we have a secret desire to wipe our mouths on our sleeves after a meal. Then all of us shall celebrate.
And, who knows? It may become the latest “red” carpet fashion in Hollywood.

3) A TV reality show in which the winner would be the contestant who lives the most environmentally friendly life. The prize would be a recording contract.

Well, this is even easier than American Idol! Let’s cross our fingers that Sanjaya would not take part if Sheryl’s dream became reality. Plus, I’m worried about the fate of American Idol…this reality show may just surpass AI in terms of popularity.
Apparently she got a misconception that environment-friendly people could sing and vice versa.

Anyway, from the above, I hope we don’t get a misconception that singers are environment-friendly.

//work-fatigue//

Recently I have been suffering from work fatigue.
Its that kind of no-matter-how-much-u-pay-me-I-also-dun-want-to-work kind of attitude.
Its that terrible.
But then again my pay is really just average.
Truly speaking, next time when I have to work, I wont really mind lower pay or longer travelling time as long as I'm happy with the job.
Else I will job-HOP!
Just got to say i'm lucky that this is just a temp. thing...BEST of all, it is ENDING
I know I have been complaining ALOT abt this job so I wont add the details here.
And I've been reading "Digital Fortress"!
The story is so intriguing which makes me feel like working as a code-breaker! Cool :)

//contemplating the meaning of death//

Sometime between late tues night and the wee hours of wed morning, my first uncle breathed his last.
Warmth left his body, never to return.
The only thing that was ailing him was a stomachache that dragged unexpectedly over the past few days.
When my mum told me the news, I thought she was joking, until I saw her red, swollen eyes.
Oh? I had no hint of sadness, no emotion at all.
Strangely.
My thoughts went back to CNY when I last saw him hale and healthy.
My uncle was an authoritative and well-respected figure in the family…something like a da ge da.
His siblings could always approach him with their problems and he would do his best to help.
Can I imagine how he would look like when he's dead?
No way.
It was an unacceptable fact that he passed away suddenly.

7 years ago, I saw my grandpa on his coffin.
dead or not.
It's just a matter of difference over the appearance.
someone had said that a dead person looks like he is just sleeping
but many of us would beg to differ.
my grandpa usually wore white singlets and black shorts.
but in death, he was clad in yellow silk, decorated with threaded dragons.
his nose looked unusual.
not to mention the make-up.
any traditional men would not have any make-up on at any usual day.
so i wonder how different my uncle would look like from his normal self.
Sadly, in death, no one can have any control over their appearance, or in fact, over everything.
Maybe that is why many people feel death is frightening.

//self-introspection//

Ok. After all the complaints, I’m staying on for the time being.
Actually I’ve already fulfilled my one week’s notice.
But people keep encouraging me to stay so I succumbed (typical of me)
Anyway, I shall take on life’s challenges as it comes.
Resigning is simply a way of escaping.
Sadly, that’s what I’m skilled at.
Escaping when there are problems.
Deep down, I know that some of the stress actually come from myself.
Whenever the environment doesn’t support me, I’ll feel stressed.
Whenever other people feel stressed, I do too.
Is that empathy or just plainly indicates that I’m a weakling?
Even if I hate to admit.
Strong people aren’t affected by the environment.
Strong people stand confident in the face of adversity.
I’m the exact opposite.
Succumbing to the environment and crumbling to adversity.
I know I shouldn’t stay like this.
But taking the first step to change and to continue with it is an absolutely daunting task.

//pricked by conscience//

Feeling extremely guilty.
It was 1745 already but one of the snack girls still asked me to submit a cv.
No choice.
I got to seek help from HER again.
I have yet to know her name but she has helped me without complains for many times.
How many times have I handed in late to her and she still give me a thumbs-up sign?
If it were other people, they would have rejected me and put me in a difficult position.
Or even scolded me.
But it’s not my fault!
Who ask them to give it to me late?
What more can I do??

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"What we know is not much. What we don't know is enormous."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 53%

Well, you don't have the worst job in the world, but it's not great. And don't worry, you're not the problem - your company is. Start looking around for another job, even if you're not totally fed up. Because in time, you're going to be dying to quit!

Should You Quit Your Job?

Your Life Is Worth...

$882,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant. Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Your Learning Style: Curious and Brilliant

You are a very abstract learner. You can grasp even the most complex theories. You Should Study: Astronomy Biology Chemistry Computer Science Linguistics Mathematics Philosophy Physics Psychology

What Should You Study?

Your Personality Cluster is Introverted Thinking

You are: Objective, honest, and credible Intellectually curious, with many diverse interests More inclined toward ideas than people Fiercely independent and unapologetically unconventional

What's Your Personality Cluster?

//A typical day at the worst local ban--part 1//

"Help! Stop adding!" I yelled, my voice fading as my arms were crushing under the weight of leather products the snack girls had bought.
"Wei Min, could you please help me photocopie these leatherrss?" animalmanure was saying.
"Sure!" I replied, in a half-hearted to fake a smile.
In actual fact, what was going through my mind was, "Wa lao eh? How to photocopie, I mean, photocopy leathers?"
My heart sank. The first task given to me was bound to be a faliure.

"Wei Min? Are you listening?" The lightly-accent voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Oh..oh yes" I assured animalmanure, at the same time relieved that I was holding letters, not leathers.

Letters from Iwo Jima

Initially interested in this movie because of a history lesson

when I was in sec 4.

The words "Iwo Jima" was kept in my mind till now.

I could never forget the gleam in his eyes and the excitement in his voice as my teacher related the story of the battle of Iwo Jima.

But still it cannot be compared to watching the "reel" action on the big screen!

This movie speaks of loyalty, fate, humanity, fear and the vulnerability of human beings in the dark times of war.

haha. gosh. i'm so nervous right now. 2.30pm. right.

" Enjoy what is there to enjoy.

Suffer what is there to suffer.

Treat both enjoyment and sufferings as facts of life."

//newfound freedom//


Finally I quitted my job!
Time for a BREAK!
After all, it’s been a good three months working…
So I guess it’s a normal thing to miss the workplace and the seniors?
I think, after these three months of slogging, I sort of got used to the routine.
So now to break away from that kind of lifestyle just rendered me bored.
Which means only one thing.
It’s time to get another job!


Lately, I’ve been incoherent in my entries.
Look at the first paragraph.
The first sentence and second sentence sort of contradicted each other.
It’s like this when your mind is confused.
It’s like this when your life is in your own control.
For the past 17-odd years you have been controlled in many ways.
Be it your parents, your friends, your teachers.
But now, the present me…maybe I should say, ever since ‘A’ level exams ended, everyone else had minimal control over my life.
Over how I spend my time.
Over what I wear, what I eat, drink.
Everyday.
All of these were decisions made by myself.


Even to quit the job.
It’s solely my own decision.
But there may regrets.


Now, I totally understand the difficulty in making decisions when facing uncertainties.

//reminiscing the past//

hey! back from Malaysia!
actually my family and I haven’t been going there for CNY for a few years.
so you can say that it was fun returning to the crowd and noise.
however it cannot be compared to the past.
when my cousins and us were kids.
when we used to play hide-and-seek.
when we used to gobble sweets and cookies.
when we used to play fireworks
when we used to greet people in chorus.

sadly, dunno since when… all of us seemed to drift apart.
all of them busy with their innumerable friends.
until I hardly see them around!

// a blank mind. inspiration-less. //

how ah how?
recently there's been no inspiration to blog.
and it doesn't help that I've been facing the computer for too long at work.
so much so that i've been hesitant in using the com at home.
just realised that i haven't been using my brain nowadays.
at work, it's just type-type-type, click-click-click.
at home, sad to say, i've fallen prey to indulging in mindless tv programmes.
this just can't go on.

today the ntu talks sort of awaken me.
made me remember that i'm still waiting for A levels results.
still a long stretch to go before going into the workforce.
if my results can make it, i'll be going to the uni.
if i'm going to a uni, i will devote all my energy into studies.
yes. even though it's a wee bit late, this will be my new year resolution.
perhaps should make it CNY resolution, then it wouldn't be too late.
haha.

and, i really look forward to English lessons with my tutee!
seriously i think i'm really a lenient teacher.
usually, it's either me who burst out laughing or the "ah-boy" who can't stop giggling at his own mistakes.
last week, "ah-boy" hand in to me a newspaper article which he cut.
i don't know whether i should laugh or cry.
cute as he is, he cut me this article, "Thailand is still a land of smiles"
it was a report on how the Thai people were not angry at Singapore even though the Lions beat them to clinch the ASEAN football championship.
although "ah-boy" fulfilled the minimum 8 sentences criteria I set him, all he wrote was about the top scorer, Alarm Sham (er, his spelling is atrocious =P, should be Nor Alam Shah, if I’m not wrong), as well as the fact that his dad predicted wrongly that the thais would triumph.
The funny thing is that although it is so irrelevant, i can't fault him for anything as the article was not from the SPORTS section, but from the front page of ST.

//food is getting more taste//

two weeks into the new year passed like blur.
practically gobble, chew and swallow.
so unhealthy!
but it's better now...haha...that's why the food now have more taste, even though they are from the same old stalls that i frequent.
that's because there's more time to savour the food.

just that i'm now able to chew more should i bite more? (not literally =)
hmm..
there are currently 3 things on hand.
1. student i/c in sk chapter.(religion)
2. full time admin work
3. tuition on certain weekday nights

thinking of taking up jap but that will be later...

as for now...a bit sick of the working environment already.
sick of travelling the same route to work and same route back.
sick of the food there (though delicious)
i think i need a change.

so i asked my dad how is he able to stay put at the same company for so long
he says
yes. all the above are true.
but when u travel on the same route to and fro everyday, you pass by different people.
when u eat at the same old stalls, you share tables with different people.
when u type the same old stuff at work, you impact different lives.
when u answer the company phone using the same old lines, u are talking to different people.

yes. i got it.
disguised as boring, life is actually an unpredictable experience.
cherish every moment.

//weather is turning better-for the moment//

Class bbq was good.
Everything was organised and no dilly-dally-ing
Haha...and food was edible and nice.
No regrets that I went =)
Topics of the day were finding jobs and driving tests...
Wow...what a change from last time...
No one talked about A levels, Uni, faculties...
I wonder if a change of environment and going into separate paths has made us cherish other people more

//blessings from the weather//

23-25 Dec: Student Kenshu(camp)
An experience like never before.
"Thrown face"countless times during that short 3 days.
But maybe that is not a bad thing after all.
We can learn from our mistakes so as to handle the same situation better next time.
Hmm..all those mistakes made are attributed to the lack of preparation on our part.
That's why the group cheers are so sian that nobody in our group felt like cheering while other groups' cheers seemed so special and unique.
That’s why I stuttered in front of so many people during the intro to our group performance on fun night. (btw, I got the script only about half hour before our group's turn)
That’s why I fell down on the muddy grass as I was turning round and round, with my head on the stick during the "survivor" game.

Tired…super tired…slept only 3-4 hours each day of the camp
But it's nice to know some Malaysian student believers better =P
Though sleeping time was sacrificed.
By the end of the last day, I was so tired that I couldn't feel reality.
People around me seemed so unreal…like I’m in a dream.
Scary right?
But I really tried not to doze off during Buddhist lectures.
Well…learnt quite a lot.

Compassion is to help people that you know to make the right judgment and not to pretend that you never see anything when people do something wrong.

Among the many paths of life, which should we take?
Buried in the many troubles in life, what should we do?
Nobody can give anyone a satisfying answer.
Instead of praying for good grades and getting what you want, we should actually pray sincerely for the wisdom, strength and willpower to overcome the difficulties in life and find the path that will really suit us.


Work is getting less stressful everyday…
I guess once you get the hang of it, you won't keep thinking of slacking at home.
However the down side is that, you have less time for TV, blogging, contacting friends, replying people etc…
Everyday, joining the morning rush really makes me feel at least 6 years older.
Like I’m working permanently…for people working in the same company, doing the same old thing forever…how can they managed it?
Work is so boring that I think I will keep job-hopping when it's time for me to join the morning rush permanently.
Well…I guess excitement comes when you see people when you least expect it.
Like mr potato chua chatting in Chinese over lunch with a lady at the food centre you frequent during lunch.

Or the elderly man who calls himself "national treasure" in the video you watched on the eve of national day in school. (The multi-tasking busker wearing clogs, juggling florescent green tennis balls and blowing a harmonica, all at the same time….And I almost banged into him! For his superb entertainment, he earned my $1 = )

Or when you were thinking " why is this person wearing shades indoors?" Then, your jaw dropped when you realise it is Fiona Xie smiling and walking into the office like a common person.

//bit of rain//

haha. see see! I also got my own virtual pet!
Feed haro with bamboo, thanks!
There is just too much to blog about, from attending my cousin's wedding in malaysia to my job.
But i've been too busy and lazy =X

Just like i've said, our camping group is just going to fall to pieces.
I can't co-operate with my co-leader because he is too arrogant and nonsensical.
Two members already dropped out.
The mentors talked to us today and I had to wait 1hr plus at the mrt station after my work for them to arrive.
Then they just beat around the bush without pinpointing anything.
Why must people be afraid to say what is wrong?

The trip to malaysia was a nice break even though I had to take 4 days' no-pay leave.
I was one of the "jie mei" accompanying the bride, since my cousin did not have any bridesmaid.
It was easy, and I earned a hongbao in ringgit. Basically just follow the bride everywhere.
At the banquet, food was not bad, but when can they ever stop engaging karaoke singers to entertain us?
It seem to be a trend there.
I have nothing against it just that someday, it'll just break someone's eardrums and render him/her deaf.
The next day, it off to A'famosa, a short route from malacca's city centre.
My uncle got free "bungalow" chalets for a night and cowboy town tickets.
Next morning it's shopping at malacca city centre.
The road was too bumpy and my aunt vomitted at the roadside halfway...well i definitely agree! Sitting in a car makes me feel like i'm on some roller coaster.
Then, my sis was looking for a pair of shoes.
Strangely, all the shops sell the same few designs at practically the same price.
What do they earn???


Ok, though my work is oh-so-boring because i practically key in ticketing numbers, costs and customer details by the same procedures everyday, still look forward to it lah.
Or else just stay home and slack is so bo-liao.
Some more no money to spend.
Actually i'm just looking forward to my first pay cheque. haha.
Now I also take calls, give forms to people who come in for interviews, photocopy stuff, and find invoices and send it to other departments.
At least can walk around so my back does not ache.
In the morning, I look forward to lunch break.
After lunch, I look forward to tea break.
So nice...all those airlines send cakes to us...or boss lady will buy something =)
Wonder how long I can last in this company.....
After tea break, I look forward to going home.
Shower.
Dinner.
Tv.
Watch Doha games or online.
Sleep.