// 3 months //

only when the computer system prompted me to change my log in password did i realise it has been 3 months into this internship.
it's the first time i'm working for so long.
initially when i heard that the intern program was to last for 5 months, i really doubted my endurance.
can i work for so long?

so far, it has been ok.
at least i'm not dragging myself to work yet.
there are many things to learn and discover on my own.
we're pretty free-reined.
but sometimes i'm just mentally tired, unable to make any sense of what i'm reading or of the data collected.
if the brain was to be analogous to computer processors, mine must be only 256MHz, at super slow speed.
anyway, being an intern cuts in both ways, good and bad.
people are more forgiving towards your mistakes.
but being a greenhorn requires extra work and effort.
i can't say that i'm giving my 100%...especially in reading up of materials.
the lazy part of me often takes over, with excuses like needing a break from work or there's too much to be read, i can't possibly read all.
the actual reason is that i really cannot understand some technical journals.
all the equations and graphs are making my head spin.

on the previous entry, actually i was debating with myself whether i should take up a fyp project that is slightly more challenging because of its bio applications (i've long stopped studying bio)
or a project that's totally material-related.
comparing these two, i think i'll fare slightly better for the second project because, after all it's what i'm training in. (but there's still a high % of uncertainty, given my average preformance)
of course, the first project is also materials-related but there'll definitely be new bio stuff to pick up. in fact, reading some bio technical articles already made me cringe as i totally have no inkling of what the article was about.
but it'll still be my preference because i can see the direct application this research is going to lead to.

but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is not enough, it's more important that i will not get lost in the tunnel.